Prayers needed, advice appreciated

[peregrinus2017]

Listening to the sermon today, I realized that I need to become Orthodox. There is no way to reconcile the things I have learned and come to accept in the last two years with what is believed and preached where I am. So I will be contacting the priest of the nearest parish for advice and guidance. Unfortunately the nearest parish is a three hour drive away in summer conditions.
I love and appreciate my present pastor, in fact he might not want to hear it but he has been a positive influence in me embracing Orthodoxy. It is difficult for me to understand how he is the man he seems to be while being espoused to the reformed doctrine that I am hearing so much of lately. (Being the 500th anniversary of the reformation, I am sure a lot of protestants are hearing doctrinal declarations right now.)
Anyhow, right now I need to try and explain all this to my wife. These are not things that she really thinks about, and it is only in the past six months that she has really developed relationship with people at church, particularly the pastors wife. I have also been around a long time. I don't want to cause strife, but I also do not want to mysteriously disappear, leaving others to explain why I am no longer there. I have seen that happen before, several times, and it has never been healthy or terribly honest. So here I am, treading carefully trying to find the narrow way. Please pray for me, and if anyone cares to share experiences, both positive or challenging, regarding their spouses and converting to Orthodoxy please feel free to share.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Lord have mercy! have you contacted the closest priest? and are you sure that the closest is that far away? often enough there are canonical parishes right to under our noses

 

[GoingByzantine]

You will certainly have my prayers!

I'm sure that I don't need to tell you this, but your first goal should be to have a heart to heart with your wife.

Once you clear that hurdle, I agree with Matt that you should double and triple check nearby communities to make sure that there is not a closer Orthodox church. There are a few Orthodox parishes in my area that do not appear on the assembly of bishops website, but are most certainly canonical orthodox churches. Some of the newer mission churches especially seem to slip through the cracks.

 

[peregrinus2017]

I will contact the nearest parish priest I am aware of this week. There are not too many towns between here and there and I am pretty familiar with them, but I imagine he would have a better idea than me if there is something closer. Thank you for your prayers.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Not Orthodox but.... definitely talk to your wife. Calmly, lovingly, prayerfully, and honestly. I am going through something similar with my husband, after prayerfully realizing that Protestantism is untrue. Not that there are not great multitudes of devout, Godly, Scripture-loving, humble, prayerful, awesome Christian souls in technically Protestant denominations, but the whole thing historically, spiritually, theologically..... lies.

With my husband, my need has been for patience, love, respect, and more patience. But again, I'm a wife, and have no right to lead or guide my husband. You, as a husband, do, however, have a right, privilege, and responsibility to lovingly and graciously guide and teach your wife, in Christ.

Talk to her, share what's been on your heart and why with her.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Prayers for you!

I might have more to offer, depending, on talking to your wife or other friends, family, depending on how things are for you. But the situation with myself and my husband is hopefully very different than yours with your wife, so I think perhaps whatever I would say might prove unhelpful.

I agree with the others, have a talk with her first and see his things stand. I'm told that typically women are focused on things other than theology in choosing a Church, but I don't know if that's fair or true. It wasn't for me. But it depends on her reaction, the reasons for it, and your relationship. I pray these things work out to be good for your situation.

Not trying to be unhelpful, but I just think (and even hope) that what I know would be not-good advice in your situation, so I'll keep it for now. Let us know how things go.

For friends and former congregation members, it's best to be low-key. I would say to answer any questions regarding your convictions honestly, but DO NOT get into the mode of trying to convince them with hopes of converting them. You might very well be able to get their interest, just not by trying to argue them into being convinced of what they are missing.

A changed life over time is a far more powerful witnessing tool than arguments. And can happen even if a person was already "saved" and following Christ, because the thinking and disciplines and Sacraments of the Church can accomplish even more. (Not trying to put down Protestant brothers and sisters - most of my family lived their lives and died as such, never having heard of Orthodoxy - and my great-grandmother was saintly to the degree of some of our canonized Saints.) But the Church does offer benefits to our spiritual growth.

Sorry - I think I'm starting to ramble. Tired, but I wanted to reply, and say - Glory to God for you. And welcome to TAW!

God be with you. Please feel free to ask further any questions or any help you need. And I hope you find a Church closer!

Prayers for you.

 

[peregrinus2017]

Well, my wife is willing to explore the idea of Orthodoxy, which is all I really need from her right now. I have talked several times with her previously about doctrinal stuff, so I think she could see it coming. Unfortunately I still have no way forward. I have tried to contact different people through emails and have received no response. I suppose I will have to go old school and try the telephone. If I continue to have trouble contacting a local parish, whats the next step up the organisational chain that I can seek information from? I really need to find a connection. Although I am still serving and functioning where I am at, I am not really in communion with my present church anymore.

 

[Lukaris]

Lord, have mercy. Forgive me for lacking advice.

 

[peregrinus2017]

Prayers are better than advice, but both are good. Thanks.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

three hour drive...ouch! I drive an hour to my parish, and I thought I had it bad!

 

[~Anastasia~]

Well, my wife is willing to explore the idea of Orthodoxy, which is all I really need from her right now. I have talked several times with her previously about doctrinal stuff, so I think she could see it coming. Unfortunately I still have no way forward. I have tried to contact different people through emails and have received no response. I suppose I will have to go old school and try the telephone. If I continue to have trouble contacting a local parish, whats the next step up the organisational chain that I can seek information from? I really need to find a connection. Although I am still serving and functioning where I am at, I am not really in communion with my present church anymore.

For whatever reason, I have had trouble connecting with priests/parishes through email sometimes. Not always, some are very responsive. My priest prefers email. But some you just never hear back from. I'd call on the phone. One never knows the reason, but hopefully that will work.

I would suggest listening to AFR (Ancient Faith Radio) - at least if you are anything like me. It's not only learning theology, but a mindset, and that can be hard to get from books. There are other good ones, but some of the best I found are the call-in shows, Orthodoxy Live and Faith Encouraged Live, maybe because they deal with questions directly as folks ask them. There are a number of others also good for instruction in general, but those are good to start out.

(It's also worth mentioning, IMO, At the Intersection of East and West, Our Life in Christ, Speaking the Truth in Love (some of these are in the archived section), and in the Specials/Series are the Acquiring the Mind of the Church.)


Podcasts | Ancient Faith Ministries

Orthodoxy Live has often dealt with the question of not having a local parish. Fr. Evan mentions several things, such as catechesis carried out mostly through email, making arrangements with folks in the parish to host sometime visits, having readers services at home when you can't attend (which sometimes grow to include other families, which sometimes becomes a mission parish and then maybe a priest can visit once a month or every other week!). You might eventually talk to diocese about that.

But all of this is doable. Though there are also folks that end up deciding to move to be nearer Church, if something can't be established nearby. There is always a way to do something though.

Prayers for you. And very glad to hear that your wife is agreeable!

 

[ArmyMatt]

try to use the phone, and if that doesn't work and you can make it, drive to your closest parish.

there is also Orthodox Christian Network (ocn.net) which offers podcasts and such.

 

[peregrinus2017]

Thank you to everyone who has responded and or prayed. I have been listening to various podcasts, including Orthodoxy live, and have gleaned some greater understanding, though some have a lot of pre- and postamble that I find it hard to really pay attention.
It is kind of ironic. I have always been a very self reliant person, I would have been quite happy if it really was just me and Jesus. Now that I have come to realise my need for His church, it is so far away. I will get home eventually, I see many small pilgrimages in my future.

 

[graphite412]

I see many small pilgrimages in my future.

Perhaps you can visit a monastery from time to time for an extended stay since you live so far away. Even if it is a little further away perhaps being able to attend twice to three times the amount of services and being able to ask questions from the monastics would be beneficial. I live only about an hour and fifteen minutes from my parish, but the time that I get there in one month would probably only equal one weekends stay at a monastery in terms of services and fellowship with others.