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Discussion in 'Looking for a Church' started by StillGods, Aug 17, 2019.

  1. StillGods

    StillGods Well-Known Member

    889
    +1,228
    New Zealand
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    So I am going to church where no one talks to me. when i left this church a few years ago no one contacted me, they didnt care. but the teaching is good. one of the pastors is good. I went back to this church because the other church I had been going to was Calvinist and I'm not one so after a year or so couldn't go there as I didnt agree with the teaching.

    so i am going to the church where no one talks to me today in sort of a last ditch try to see if it's worth going there any more.

    i gave someone my contact details to help with morning tea a couple of weeks ago but they havent contacted me.

    I am drifting from God. i can feel it. i just want to connect with people but most people my age have families so it is difficult for them to have things in common with me I suppose.

    I am tempted to just join a spiritual wellness new age group just to have people to be around and meet with each week. I am lonely and church people just dont care so yes last effort today at this church we'll see if anyone cares then I dont know where I'll end up.

    and before people lecture me that I have to make an effort I have.
     
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  2. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

    +4,077
    Canada
    Christian Seeker
    Married
    Yeah churches are bad places for lonely people. They can be friendly, but don't always reach out. They can come off as cold since they're trying to cultivate God oriented spirituality instead of satisfying egos. Which is unfortunate, since everyone goes through a stage of ego development being born in a human body.
     
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  3. StillGods

    StillGods Well-Known Member

    889
    +1,228
    New Zealand
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    you're right
    I guess I must be trying to satisfy my ego.. selfish me.
    might as well not go.

    I only try to go to church because of God.
    why else would I subject myself to the torture of going to a place regularly where I am rejected and ignored by people?

    but I do so I can worship God by listening to a sermon and singing worship songs.

    I'm just tired of the torture side of it.
    i'm sorry I need kindness from people so badly to satisfy my selfish ego, because I wish I didnt need a friendly face so badly from 'Gods people.'
     
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  4. StillGods

    StillGods Well-Known Member

    889
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    New Zealand
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    but I will go to the torture chamber again today, see if this week there is a sign I should keep going or give up and join an alternative faith group that is willing to have me there.
     
  5. Messerve

    Messerve Well-Known Member

    +1,049
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Private
    Wow... I'm sorry you feel it's torturous to attend your church. Do you have no other options in your area? I, too, have contacted people before but never heard back. It's really ridiculous how churches will emphasize how they need help, but then completely drop the ball when people step up to help. I think it sometimes is because they are trying to do everything at once and simply forget to respond to people.

    Perhaps you should start a Bible study at your home and form your own group. It sounds as if your area could use another option for worship - something other than New Age mindlessness.
     
  6. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +3,331
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    Prayer for God's solution and patience is a better idea than joining what seems friendly, but operates in a wrong spirit.

    I identify with your struggle - the church needs to rethink it's structure and mission and return to a family focus.
     
  7. ilovejcsog

    ilovejcsog I am a Christian mutt. You can call me Rox

    +932
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Constitution
    I am sorry for how you are being treated at the churches. Is is interesting when I was going to church I didn't want to be welcomed. I just wanted to sit in the back and enjoy the sermon, music and prayer.
    Mostly people want to hover around you in the churches I used to go to. I am praying for you that you will get individual attention that you need.
    Blessings!
     
  8. Greengardener

    Greengardener for love is of God Supporter

    453
    +420
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    I feel with you on this one. The ongoing contact with God through His Word is so important, and so is the fellowship with other believers for encouragement, edification, and the occasional reproving that we need to stay on the narrow way. The online forum helps, online preaching helps, but the face to face real time experience is still a need. I met someone recently who used an online platform (Meet-ups) to host a read-the-Bible-together kind of Bible study, and another who used Craigslist for a similar purpose, but that has a degree of risk and might be difficult to take the lead on a task like this until you've reached a solid place that it's you and God regardless who else is going to walk according to what He teaches. It might be that by looking, you can find others who have a similar goal of fellowship, but be careful and keep to what God has already told us in His word. At all costs, keep your heart.
     
  9. JustRachel

    JustRachel He welcomed me back! <3 Supporter

    710
    +739
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Have you checked back with the "someone" that you gave your contact info to? See who is involved in things and ask if you can help. Do you talk to others or just wait for them to talk to you?
     
  10. Newtheran

    Newtheran Well-Known Member

    784
    +562
    United States
    Lutheran
    Married
    US-Republican
    Yeah, you don't want to do that.

    Surely there are other churches or bible studies in your area that you can attend?
     
  11. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

    +9,262
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Please, please, please don't mistake fellowship and friendliness with a spiritually or theologically healthy environment.

    Mormons are mega friendly. They're worshipping a false god.

    Please don't focus too much on other people, friend. Focus on God. Pray for the folks around you, and don't make this so much about how you feel.

    I hear you, though. I attended a church for years where no one was very friendly and where I felt I didn't fit it. It angered me a lot. I see now that my focus should not have been on socializing, or how I felt, but on Christ.
     
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  12. lismore

    lismore Legend

    +2,269
    Christian
    Single
    Hi Gracia. It is a major challenge for any of us in a church though, if Mormons etc can present themselves as more loving. Jesus said that all men would know we were his disciples because we loved one another. Folks go to a church and can't get anyone to speak to them. It's not love. I can identify with the OP because some years back when I was church hopping I visited about a dozen, several were actively unwelcoming. I'm in a city and have many options, but in a place with fewer options- Lord have mercy. God Bless :)
     
  13. jsimms615

    jsimms615 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +1,543
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    I'm glad you are in an area where there are options. I live in a relatively rural area where there are a lot of churches but most are struggling or are very small. I have church hopped for a long time and have even joined two only to regret in soon afterward. It is easy for church to turn you off to God. But, I don't think you should confuse God's people with those who go to church because they are not the same at all.
     
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  14. lismore

    lismore Legend

    +2,269
    Christian
    Single
    Hello jsimms. Thank you for your post! I'm glad your past experiences did not turn you off God, that's the most important thing. In these last days to find true Christian fellowship is a blessing. Sometimes a church can struggle or be very small because of the way they treat the sheep. When the bible uses shepherds and sheep as an example it's excellent. Sheep are not daft, they won't stick around where they're being hurt or where someone is masquerading as the shepherd. God Bless :)
     
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  15. lismore

    lismore Legend

    +2,269
    Christian
    Single
    Hello. Just to say, church should be family, where people of all ages, all social backgrounds, all educations are welcome, where they find fellowship with each other. Where all barriers are broken down in Christ. Because we are one in the new Birth into the Kingdom of God. :wave:
     
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