Prayer request and need advice

[heal103]

I would like to first ask for prayer for my 18 year old daughter Rebecca who has been drifting away from her walk with God over the last few years....since around 10th grade. She was raised in a Christian home and was baptized at age 14. The influences of high school friends, social media, movies, music and the general anti Christian culture have really changed her. She no longer believes the Bible is the 100 percent the word of God and that everything it says is final authority. She influenced by liberal college professors who hate religion and delight in "debunking" the bible. So yes, she can use prayer to return to Christ. I need advice however on how to back up my views on waiting till marriage for sex. My daughter sees no reason to wait for marriage. She thinks its ridiculous. The world says its nothing to be ashamed of and its natural and if you are in love, its normal. I tell her God created sex as an expression of love between married couples and for having children. But she does not accept that she should live her life according to a book...written by men. How do i seriously present to her why i believe she should wait until marriage if she isn't convinced of the truth of the bible? I know shes 18 but i still want to have a strong case for why i believe in saving sex for marriage. Im really concerned about her. How have you presented your feelings on this issue to your teens...especially when they challenge you on your commitment to biblical authority? Thanks!

 

[PloverWing]

My children are 22, 19, and 17. I feel for your situation.

My best guess is to search through your own memories and feelings, and think about why you were glad that you and your husband waited for marriage, and tell her about that. Maybe it's that you're glad that sex is something special between you and your husband, that you have shared only with each other. Maybe you benefited from the self-discipline of all the years of celibacy between puberty and marriage. Maybe you were glad you didn't have to worry about contraception and pregnancy until you had a home ready for your babies. Whatever it was for you, tell her about that. Leave the "Thou shalt not"s out of it; it sounds like she's not open to hearing about that right now.

Beyond that -- Let her know that you'll always love her, even if she makes choices that are different from your beliefs, and be a supportive listening ear for her. Regardless of whether she chooses to be sexually active, she's got a lot to sort through in the next few years, as she figures out how to be an adult woman and how to have romantic relationships, and she'll probably botch some of it and be hurt by some of it, and a mom can be a good resource when she needs to talk to someone who's been through all of this before.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Ask her if there's someone special she wants to have sex with, or just anyone, and what her plans are if she gets pregnant (where will she live and how will she support a child) or is infected with an std, and if she has the money to pay for the medical services needed (including abortion) in any case.

 

[heal103]

My children are 22, 19, and 17. I feel for your situation.

My best guess is to search through your own memories and feelings, and think about why you were glad that you and your husband waited for marriage, and tell her about that. Maybe it's that you're glad that sex is something special between you and your husband, that you have shared only with each other. Maybe you benefited from the self-discipline of all the years of celibacy between puberty and marriage. Maybe you were glad you didn't have to worry about contraception and pregnancy until you had a home ready for your babies. Whatever it was for you, tell her about that. Leave the "Thou shalt not"s out of it; it sounds like she's not open to hearing about that right now.

Beyond that -- Let her know that you'll always love her, even if she makes choices that are different from your beliefs, and be a supportive listening ear for her. Regardless of whether she chooses to be sexually active, she's got a lot to sort through in the next few years, as she figures out how to be an adult woman and how to have romantic relationships, and she'll probably botch some of it and be hurt by some of it, and a mom can be a good resource when she needs to talk to someone who's been through all of this before.

Thanks, i regret to say that my husband and i did not wait for marriage. Its something i really regret. God has forgiven us but it still bothers me. I'm praying for my duaghter to meet Godly people at college...which is difficult but God can orchestrate that. I love her so much. Hurts to see my sweet girl who grew up loving Jesus now rejecting His word. Praying for her eyes to be opened. Thank you.

 

[heal103]

Ask her if there's someone special she wants to have sex with, or just anyone, and what her plans are if she gets pregnant (where will she live and how will she support a child) or is infected with an std, and if she has the money to pay for the medical services needed (including abortion) in any case.

She has a boyfriend at college and has been hinting about wanting to go on birth control. I told her its her decision but i really don't approve and think it will have consequences down the road. Sin is enjoyable but destructuve over time. At 18, she isn't exactly thinking rationally. Her generation has a much more accepting view of sex and doesn't think its a "big deal" as she told me. I'm just going to give it to God.

 

[John Bowen]

Whats happens is 18 yr olds feel like they are adults now and they are forced to act like that now .You feel forced to still be responsible for her so she is rebelling against it you have to come together with a meeting of hearts . You might want to give her some space have someone neutral talk to her about the problems of having sex too early that unless it is in a committed relationship under God than it opens us up to a lot of negative stuff .Sometimes parents feel they have to be the perfect parents and the ultimate test of that is how the child behaves and what they do with their lives and if they do something "wrong" it reflects back at them that they were bad parents .Thats not the case just keep holding the thought she will be fine.