Danielle Feetham

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I am 25 years old and I am fully aware that God has a husband for me. By choice, I have opted to remain a virgin as I want to save myself for the man that God has promised to me. However, I am part of a large church and a lot of girls my own age who go there are already married and some even have children. I feel like everyone is falling in love and getting married apart from me. Truth be told, so many people marry in their early twenties in my church that I am starting to feel like an old spinster.

On top of that, I have recently been worrying that the fact that I am still a virgin many be off putting to male suitors. Not many people still have their virginity by the time they reach 25 years old. My non-christian friends are very vocal in their belief that I have left it to long.

I guess what I'm asking for is prayers for patience and strength while I wait for my husband. Any words of encouragement would also be much appreciated at this time. Thanks.
 

Willing-heart

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In the middle east, there is a saying that goes something like this, “Patience is a tree whose root is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” It is the temptation of all of our hearts not to wait for God's timing. Yet, falling in that temptation does not honour the God who knows you by name. You can make the clock strike before the hour by putting your hand there, but it would strike wrong. You can tear open a rosebud before its time, but you will mirr its beauty. Even so, we may spoil the many gifts God has prepared for us because of our haste, but if we patiently wait upon God, God's plan is always perfect. Working diligently (Colossians 3:23-24) while we wait for his timing his honouring to him. Above all else, seek first His Kingdom in all you do, and all other things shall be added to you. Take heart, wait on the Lord, be of good courage :)
 
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Deborah D

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I am 25 years old and I am fully aware that God has a husband for me. By choice, I have opted to remain a virgin as I want to save myself for the man that God has promised to me. However, I am part of a large church and a lot of girls my own age who go there are already married and some even have children. I feel like everyone is falling in love and getting married apart from me. Truth be told, so many people marry in their early twenties in my church that I am starting to feel like an old spinster.

On top of that, I have recently been worrying that the fact that I am still a virgin many be off putting to male suitors. Not many people still have their virginity by the time they reach 25 years old. My non-christian friends are very vocal in their belief that I have left it to long.

I guess what I'm asking for is prayers for patience and strength while I wait for my husband. Any words of encouragement would also be much appreciated at this time. Thanks.

Hi, Danielle,

The man who is worthy of you will appreciate that you have not been with other men. This is a special gift you will be able to give him on your wedding night. Hang in there!

I'm praying that you will have God's grace and strength to continue to save yourself for that special man who will be your husband.

P.S. I was almost 30 when I got married, and I was a virgin. It's worth the wait!

Blessings!
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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I am 25 years old and I am fully aware that God has a husband for me. By choice, I have opted to remain a virgin as I want to save myself for the man that God has promised to me. However, I am part of a large church and a lot of girls my own age who go there are already married and some even have children. I feel like everyone is falling in love and getting married apart from me. Truth be told, so many people marry in their early twenties in my church that I am starting to feel like an old spinster.

On top of that, I have recently been worrying that the fact that I am still a virgin many be off putting to male suitors. Not many people still have their virginity by the time they reach 25 years old. My non-christian friends are very vocal in their belief that I have left it to long.

I guess what I'm asking for is prayers for patience and strength while I wait for my husband. Any words of encouragement would also be much appreciated at this time. Thanks.
What comes to me as soon as I read your OP was, "Through faith and patience, we inherit the promises" (Hebrews 6:12). Also Philippians 4:6-7 says: "Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known to God and the peace that passes all understanding will keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus"
And Matthew 7:11 says: "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

What these verses say is that God is a good God and He desires the best for you. He wants you to trust Him and confidently ask Him for the desires of your heart. He says that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). God doesn't lie. He is true to His promises.

I believe that it is right for you to remain a virgin. To pick up some guy and have sex just to make yourself more attractive to men is a deception. If you did that, you would really regret it. It is much more honouring to Christ to remain chaste and pure for His glory and holiness, and He will honour you with the right man for your life.

From my perspective, if I got into a relationship with a woman who had slept around, I might not have the confidence that she would be faithful to me over the long term and that once having got sick of me, she could to chasing after some other male. It is the same with men sowing their wild oats with multiple women. It is true that such men are more likely to be unfaithful to the wives than those who had kept themselves until they found the right woman for them.

I think there is a strength in the Lord for a virgin female to marry a virgin male, because there are no others to compare, and so they just concentrate on enjoying each other in their marriage.

This is not to say that men and women who are not virgins could not be saved and transformed through Christ and form happy Christian marriages.

But for you, if a man is more attracted to a woman who is not a virgin than one who is, what does that say about the man's attitude to women? Could it be that such a man is seeing women as sex objects, rather than life-partners to love and cherish? When I was a young Christian, a guy said to me that the only reason why men and women got married was to have sex! I have found in my old age where sex is a happy memory, my marriage is still just as strong, because there is much more to marriage than just having nooky three times a week!

So, I hope this encourages you to remain a virgin, delight yourself in Christ, fellowship with Him, ask Him for the right husband for you, and then wait on Him with faith and patience, and it will happen. It may not happen overnight, but maybe at the time when you least expect him, there will he be, and the spark between you will ignite into a flame!
 
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LoricaLady

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Men can really value virginity. The wrong kinds will want to pressure you out of it. I will tell you a very personal story. I was a virgin for my husband, whom I divorced and is now deceased. Here is an interesting thing. Now we remained friends after divorce, and one day - I don't remember how we got on the topic at all as it didn't really concern me - he turned to me and said that because I was a virgin he felt "You were mine." Then he repeated that with a sense of pride, "You were mine." He wasn't even a practicing Christian.

I pray you will be given strength and patience and the right husband in the right time. Maybe he has some spiritual growing up to do right now. Maybe you do, too.
 
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