Pray for my relationship with my mother

[Maddie 243]

My mother is very emotionally abusive to me. She has been homeschooling me for about three years now. She has me working for 12 hours most days in a curriculum that doesn't even give a high school diploma. She is very toxic for me she screams abusive things in my face if I dont understand the material. When I was a kid she made me feel like God hated me, telling me things like God is angry at me for little things i would do. I would never pray because I felt like God was angry at me. She is very narsocistic, she uses God and twists scripture verses to get her way. She says such painful things to me, I've felt suicidal in the past but she always makes herself look like a victim. She tears apart my relationship to God, emotionally abuses me, and says she is a Christian which is probably the most painful part. Please pray that God will greatly burden her heart about the things she says and does, and will change her heart drastically. Please also pray that she will put me in this online curriculum that will be much easier and will give me a diploma.

 

[Tigger45]

Lord have mercy

 

[solid_core]

My mother is very emotionally abusive to me. She has been homeschooling me for about three years now. She has me working for 12 hours most days in a curriculum that doesn't even give a high school diploma. She is very toxic for me she screams abusive things in my face if I dont understand the material. When I was a kid she made me feel like God hated me, telling me things like God is angry at me for little things i would do. I would never pray because I felt like God was angry at me. She is very narsocistic, she uses God and twists scripture verses to get her way. She says such painful things to me, I've felt suicidal in the past but she always makes herself look like a victim. She tears apart my relationship to God, emotionally abuses me, and says she is a Christian which is probably the most painful part. Please pray that God will greatly burden her heart about the things she says and does, and will change her heart drastically. Please also pray that she will put me in this online curriculum that will be much easier and will give me a diploma.

She is a bad mother who needs to be born again.

She is an angry woman who even dares to project her own anger to be God's anger and so spoils your view of a perfect God.

As soon as you will be able, move away from her and watch yourself not to be like her. She will influence you even subconciously.

God is peace and love. Practice self-control.

 

[solid_core]

Do not expect anybody to be drastically changed without a drastical life event.

 

[Ricky M]

Do not expect anybody to be drastically changed without a drastical life event.

Sadly that's 99% true. You - we - are not going to change her.

I pray the Holy Spirit envelope you, and immunizes you against this onslaught. And I pray God give you the means to leave when it is legal for you to do so. Sometimes the drastic life event these tyrants need is to lose the very thing they're so desperately wanting to control.

It's a war of attrition, but we know Who wins in the end. Persevere

 

[solid_core]

I pray for you, Maddie, to have enough patience, peace, self-control and wisdom to endure these hard times. But really, move away as soon as possible, she will influence you in some way, no matter if you want it or not. She may even impute her anger into you, anger is like a virus, it spreads, similarly to fear and other strong emotions.

 

[KateforChrist]

One thing I would caution you about. When you are able to move out please don't make any hurried decisions because you are vulnerable and could end up in a bad situation. Perhaps ask your pastor's/minister's wife or another older female Christian for guidance on the new living arrangement.

 

[tturt]

You could mention that even some A (highest grade) students have tutors. Have you tried looking online for the topic and check out how someone else explains the material? Ixl.com can be used several times a day without a paid account. Virtual Nerd is made up of videos - free also. Think it's math content only but you could check it out. Sure there are many more.

Praying for you too.

 

[Mydreams]

Lord bless Maddie 243 and mom. Let you please heal and bless their relationship , let Maddie 243's mom love, respect and care Maddie 243 and be a blessing in her life. Lord bless this prayer request. In Jesus mighty name, Amen!

 

[KateforChrist]

 

[LoricaLady]

My mother is very emotionally abusive to me. She has been homeschooling me for about three years now. She has me working for 12 hours most days in a curriculum that doesn't even give a high school diploma. She is very toxic for me she screams abusive things in my face if I dont understand the material. When I was a kid she made me feel like God hated me, telling me things like God is angry at me for little things i would do. I would never pray because I felt like God was angry at me. She is very narsocistic, she uses God and twists scripture verses to get her way. She says such painful things to me, I've felt suicidal in the past but she always makes herself look like a victim. She tears apart my relationship to God, emotionally abuses me, and says she is a Christian which is probably the most painful part. Please pray that God will greatly burden her heart about the things she says and does, and will change her heart drastically. Please also pray that she will put me in this online curriculum that will be much easier and will give me a diploma.

I am wondering if your local school system could intervene. If she has you on a curriculum where you cannot get a diploma, I believe that is illegal. I worked for years in the school system, and had some home schooled kids on my caseload, so that would make sense to me. I don't claim to know all though, particularly about your particular state.

I would call a school counselor and ask if you can speak confidentially to him or her. You don't have to identify yourself at that point. Ask questions, like about whether or not your particular homeschooling approach is legal. Tell them that you feel you are being abused and are sometimes suicidal. Tell them that you are concerned that you are not getting the education you need. IF you pray first and IF you feel they care and can be trusted.

They might get Child Protective Services, or some other agnecy, involved. They could come out and check things over.

Just a thought, but you could maybe not even identify yourself, so your mother won't know you made any report. You could possibly say that you are a friend of yours and are very concerned because of the issue of suicidal feelings and maybe inappropriate education. Of course pray about all this first.

I pray you will be helped by them and/or in any other ways and that you will get a good education and get free to live a normal life. Hang in there dear. I pray for holy angels to be all over you and your situation.

 

[LoricaLady]

P.S. Of course you could call Child Protective Services yourself. Again, I'm no expert, but from my experience in the past in my area they were big on protecting confidential sources. Ask them about that.

 

[KateforChrist]

I would call a school counselor and ask if you can speak confidentially to him or her. You don't have to identify yourself at that point. Ask questions, like about whether or not your particular homeschooling approach is legal. Tell them that you feel you are being abused and are sometimes suicidal. Tell them that you are concerned that you are not getting the education you need. IF you pray first and IF you feel they care and can be trusted.

They might get Child Protective Services, or some other agnecy, involved. They could come out and check things over.

I think it would be better to leave out the abuse side of things to start with. Once authorities are involved things can escalate very quickly and not necessarily for the better.

To start with I think it would be good for you to find out if your home schooling curriculum is meeting the standard required. If you find out that it is not, then you might be able to suggest to your mother that you both talk to somebody in the education system to find out what needs to be added and/or changed.

The other thing to realise is that even if you don't get what you need from your mother's tuition, there are usually ways that people can do further study (to catch up) when you are able to. So that is something that you might want to research. Knowing that you have a plan can sometimes help us to get through the current difficult time.

 

[Tyler52]

My mother is very emotionally abusive to me. She has been homeschooling me for about three years now. She has me working for 12 hours most days in a curriculum that doesn't even give a high school diploma. She is very toxic for me she screams abusive things in my face if I dont understand the material. When I was a kid she made me feel like God hated me, telling me things like God is angry at me for little things i would do. I would never pray because I felt like God was angry at me. She is very narsocistic, she uses God and twists scripture verses to get her way. She says such painful things to me, I've felt suicidal in the past but she always makes herself look like a victim. She tears apart my relationship to God, emotionally abuses me, and says she is a Christian which is probably the most painful part. Please pray that God will greatly burden her heart about the things she says and does, and will change her heart drastically. Please also pray that she will put me in this online curriculum that will be much easier and will give me a diploma.

God doesn't hate you, he loves you and if you are sinning, he wants and expects you to repent. He loves us all so much that he sent his only son to die for us and offers us all the chance to be adopted by him. God bless you.
Matthew 5:3-16 ESV
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [4] "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. [5] "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. [6] "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. [7] "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. [8] "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. [9] "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. [10] "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [11] "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. [12] Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. [13] "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. [14] "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. [15] Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. [16] In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:21-26 ESV
"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' [22] But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. [23] So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, [24] leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. [25] Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. [26] Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Matthew 5:38-48 ESV
"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' [39] But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. [40] And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. [41] And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. [42] Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. [43] "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' [44] But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, [45] so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. [46] For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? [47] And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? [48] You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

 

[LoricaLady]

I think it would be better to leave out the abuse side of things to start with. Once authorities are involved things can escalate very quickly and not necessarily for the better.

To start with I think it would be good for you to find out if your home schooling curriculum is meeting the standard required. If you find out that it is not, then you might be able to suggest to your mother that you both talk to somebody in the education system to find out what needs to be added and/or changed.

The other thing to realise is that even if you don't get what you need from your mother's tuition, there are usually ways that people can do further study (to catch up) when you are able to. So that is something that you might want to research. Knowing that you have a plan can sometimes help us to get through the current difficult time.

I have dealt with Child Protective Services and school counselors. One of their jobs is to deal with "abuse cases." If someone is feeling suicidal because of abuse, though getting appropriate schooling can help in some ways, it will not alleviate emotional trauma being inflicted.

You say "You might be able to suggest to your mother..." The OP is reporting that the mother is not listening and is into denial. She says her mother gets angry at her for even little things, so what kind of reaction would be expected on really big issues? When parents won't hear legitimate concerns of an abusive and seriously neglectful level, the appropriate professionals may be able to step in and help out.