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Pray for me to have wisdom

Discussion in 'Prayer Wall' started by Yennora, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    I think I have the tendency to "say all I have" which can be destructive sometimes. I don't seem to always have a center where I'm wise with my words and behavior (I do sometimes, but how do I keep it consistent? I feel this wisdom is gone when I get too excited or too nervous). I cannot prioritize my thoughts, I'm not a timely person and my sense of judgement is weak. I'm either so silent or so talkative. I seem to share everything I have sometimes even if I'm sharing it in the wrong place (I do better when silent, which is what I am most of the time, thank God). I lack the sense of politics with others and I feel like it is better off if I spend the rest of my life socially isolated from others because I'm just a heavy load on them and I don't enjoy social commitment to others anyway so it ends up as me being an awkward person to deal with. (Not to mention, I have a stupid sense of pride and ego that I always have a tendency to campaign and fight. I don't accept disrespect/unfairness even if it is in the slightest forms and I'm not an easy going/easy to deal with person at all. I also love attention which makes things worse... and yet I hate to be socially recognized, what a paradoxical person..)

    I have 2 choices, live alone my whole life or pressurize myself to have more social interactions. However my biggest worry ever comes at the point where I can lead one of my brothers and sisters to lose the faith or turn someone away from God or lead them to sin/do something morally wrong. YET, sometimes one has to be present to balance life and defend those who need defense when left alone! And sometimes I don't speak out for them because I'm a coward and I assume that the consequences can be beyond my abilities. WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT AND CONFUSING. :(

    I started isolating myself already by reducing my social media presence so I'm harder to reach by others now. I was also planning to keep on filtering out everyone as much as I can so I become totally alone (excluding my family). Is that morally right? Is isolating myself morally right?

    My words are to some level exaggerating. I'm a bit better now. Just pray for me to mature and be wise.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
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  2. Aldebaran

    Aldebaran Star Power!

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    I'm right there with ya dude, 100%. It sounds like a psychological condition that you and I both have called schizotypal personality disorder. I was diagnosed with it long ago and it can be hard to deal with and often results in withdrawl from others. Praying for you to overcome it better than I have.
     
  3. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you for sharing this! I will educate myself more on it. Will pray for you as well.
     
  4. maintenance man

    maintenance man Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Pray for me to have wisdom...

    Wisdom comes from experience - often difficult experience. You can't get that in isolation.

    God doesn't want you to hide. God wants you to move forward with Him at your side.

    You've identified the problem. Slow down. Take it one step at a time. Start small - gain wisdom- then expand.

    I'm praying for you.
     
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  5. NeedyFollower

    NeedyFollower Well-Known Member

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    Hi Brother ..Not sure about personality disorders ...it sounds like you are a human and have enough self awareness to know your struggles . Jesus said that we will be given the Holy Spirit ..even the spirit of truth ( which it sounds like you have . ) Paul said in my flesh dwells no good thing . The flesh is where pride dwells and also makes us want to be defensive and to campaign . I believe , as a christian , this is our battle ..to die to these things and to abide in Christ . Jesus was not ambitious for He was ( and Is ) . Jesus was not competitive for He had no competition . Satan kept trying to get Jesus to give up His authority by proving who he was to Satan . ( If you are the Son of God , turn this stone into bread ...If you are the Son of God , throw yourself off this pinnacle , etc. ) The point is , Jesus had nothing to prove ...so in HIM , we also have nothing to prove but by His grace , we ask and are given love to demonstrate . Seek wisdom at His feet in prayer and although you may be young , His wisdom is ancient ....all things are by Him and through Him . Stay humble enough to admit your struggles for God gives grace to the humble but opposes the proud . ( I also struggle with these things so I know . ) Grace and peace in the name and authority of Jesus ...the one who bought us and who overcame the world .
     
  6. inquiring mind

    inquiring mind associate with those you can learn from Supporter

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    I'm really not qualified to give you any advice, but I will pray for you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
  7. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

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    The Scripture says "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" (James 1:5).

    That is something you can do, and you need to do it.
    A good preacher once said, "If you want to know the will of God, read the Bible. If you want to do the will of God, do the Bible!"

    I think that is good wisdom.
     
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  8. GTW27

    GTW27 Junior Member

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    The Lord is a Master Builder. Go unto Him and say, "Here I am Lord, do with me what You will." Do this, and print this page out, and put it in a safe place. In a few years, you will be reminded about this paper, and when you read it, you will laugh and you will see that THE Lord always keeps His promises.
     
  9. Mydreams

    Mydreams Well-Known Member

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    Father God, bless Yennora, and this prayer, yes Lord, in Jesus gracious name, Amen!
     
  10. WESTOZZIE

    WESTOZZIE Active Member Supporter

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    If you died/were crucified as God says you were?...Rom 6:6,Gal 2:20, Col 3:3,4
    And if the new you is Christ living joined as one with you, living as you in fact?...
    And if as He(Jesus)is, so are you in this world...1Jn 4:17
    Then realise that you are just right the way you are. You are God manifested as you. Give thanks to the Father for who you are, with all these things you see as negatives...give thanks for them. God is always at rest inside us, but we struggle to accept ourselves as being "right".
    He didnt come to make us better people...He came to live in weak vessels, with all sorts of "problems". He wants us to rest in who we are. The accuser wants us to hate ourselves and reject ourselves. But hey! Our self, is Christ Jesus joined as one with us. SO how can we reject what God does not reject?
    Peace
     
  11. Mel333

    Mel333 Member

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    I suggest reading some proverbs. Lots of wisdom there :).
     
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  12. GraceTruthLove

    GraceTruthLove Christian

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    Hello Yennora,

    First, I appreciate how honest you are in the above. Second, You can't force yourself to go against who God created you to be (i.e. become the world's boldest extrovert), but you can choose to be open to the leading of His Spirit. He is happy to help you along, even in social situations (as I've learned from experience!).

    There's another thing I would like to share. The below is a bit different from your exact situation, but you may find some value in it.

    A few years ago I tried to isolate myself from all people. My past was littered with negative experiences and I was fed up. The only people I let near me emotionally at that time was my parents and brother. Frankly, this decision lead me to the brink. I got caught up in a dark depression, and being lost in my own internal world made it far worse. I didn't start to recover until Jesus led me to a church family that was truly filled with His love and Spirit. Trying to permanently isolate myself from the world almost destroyed me.

    -------------------------------------------------

    Lord, thank you that Yennora came here for prayer today. Thank you for the honestly and sincerity here - it takes courage to be so open about what one is struggling with. The simple truth is we all struggle to control our tongues. We have all done foolish things.

    Please be Yennora's wisdom, discretion, and strength. Thank you for promising to grant wisdom if we but ask (James 1:5). Thank you that that you are the Potter, the finisher and perfecter of our faith. Thank you that you don't leave us in our broken states, but that you finish what you have begun! Please complete your work in Yennora, and please be his/her reassurance during the sometimes painful growth process.

    P.S. The other responses above are really good! I hope the advice/prayers bring your comfort and clarity.
     
  13. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you so much for your prayer! It is truly appreciated. I also was interested to know why was isolating yourself to your family destructive? Feel free not to share if that would bother you.
     
  14. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you so much for your encouragement! I agree that we are ought to love how God created us. But I believe that we should change when we spot immorality in our lives. That is, if I notice that my behavior is dangerous to my brothers and sisters in Christ, I think I should stop that behavior. Again thank you! :)
     
  15. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Thank you everyone for your encouragements and prayers! I believe that God is hearing you all and that I will improve.
     
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  16. GraceTruthLove

    GraceTruthLove Christian

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    I don't mind sharing. Be warned this is going to be long, and it goes into material that might disturb some people.

    When I isolated myself, I cut myself off from even the possibility of forming relationships with other believers. Now I was down to three people in my support network - my parents and brother. It sounds ok, right? They were (and are) my close and loving family. But eventually those closest and dearest will let us down - sometimes in huge ways. There were incidents where things were said on both sides and deeply regretted. Also, I was struggling with certain issues (like the depression I mentioned) that just overwhelmed my family - they didn't know how to help. It was also at this time that I started distancing myself from God. To isolate oneself is to retreat into oneself, and I have found this internal retreating corresponds to drifting away from Jesus as well.

    At that point there was no one left to help me but me. I tried to rely on myself for emotional support. I reasoned I was strong enough. I wasn't, and I entered into years of worsening depression. Being completely isolated like I was didn't give me much of a reason to get better or just go on. I started to give serious thought to ending my life. It seemed the best solution to my depression-warped mind. Thank God He intervened and got me into a church (long story) where people reached out and really cared about me. I learned that HE cared about me. Are you familiar with the commandment of not forsaking the gathering of believers? I firmly believe one of the main reasons this commandment exists is for our spiritual and emotional survival.

    Of course, not everyone who socially isolates themselves will go down such a dark path, but what I describe is a place social isolation can lead to. I won't deny that interacting with people is exhausting (I am so that person who would rather stay home and read a novel), but once in a great while you form a meaningful connection - and it is so worth it. :)
     
  17. LynnSmith

    LynnSmith Well-Known Member

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    Praying for you and God’s peace in your life.
     
  18. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    I'm glad you recovered from this dark pathway! I think I won't isolate myself fully as well, I started backing off the idea of cutting myself from everyone outside my family because: 1. Some of my friends don't deserve that. 2. It has a powerful sense of selfishness to just enjoy myself alone.

    However, I cannot deny that my production is much better when I'm alone. I think I study better, my creativity takes its time to be revealed and I feel more free. It could be a result of my mental condition as I avoided people since I was a little child and I rarely approached anyone. (I was bullied a lot as well) But I thank God nothing so serious happened. I thank God those days are gone forever.. I think school might have contributed to my inner sense of isolation. I just saw how manipulative people are.

    But yes, one thing I have to admit. Back in last quarter of 2016-first quarter of 2017 when I was on the edge of Atheism, Christians on Christian Forums were a contributing reason I didn't. At that time I thought that Christians are just like any other religion with no harmony between denominations and no acceptance to outsiders. And then I came to CF and saw a powerful amount of acceptance that gave me a lot of hope.

    Thank you for sharing your story! And again I'm glad you recovered.
     
  19. Aldebaran

    Aldebaran Star Power!

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    It sounds like you're an introvert, which many of us are. Introverts are very creative and do their best thinking when alone. They don't want to be alone all the time, but social stimulation is something they like in smaller doses than an extrovert. 8 Signs You Might Be an Introvert
     
  20. Yennora

    Yennora Buy the truth and sell it not. Pro 23:23

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    Oh my God! You nailed it! Yes, I'm 95% if not 100% that thing. Which is beneficial in my honest opinion because too many friends = a huge potential for problems. (+ you won't be able to care about all of them at once which will lead to some of them being hurt)

    While an introvert pretty much got less problems to worry about. I think the best solution to my case is:

    1. Not to isolate myself but to maintain a small circle of friends and try to make it smaller if possible.
    2. To be more reserved and self-contained with everyone unless the person meets a particular criteria.

    Making the criteria for (2) hard enough will lead to better stability in my relationships and social life I would say because I will make it very hard for someone to get inside my social space yet I will maintain my ability to pursue those whom I'm interested in (and of course they show interest in me).
     
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