Pray for me please

[AirForceTeacher]

Oh my, am I going to have an interesting conversation in a few days. I changed my military life insurance beneficiary from her to my kids - largely symbolilc because if I die she is their guardian. I find out after I'm don ethat they are required to send her a letter notifying her that I have changed the beneficiary to someone other than the lawful spouse.

That's gonna be a fun one, but she does have to consider the ramifications of her choices, and this is one of them.

 

[MaidforHim]

.

That's gonna be a fun one, but she does have to consider the ramifications of her choices, and this is one of them.

Amen. In a situation like this your kids need to be placed first. Good job Maybe this will help your wife begin to recognize how her decisions have real and far reaching consequences. God bless.

 

[tp65]

AFT, I think that was a good and realistic decision. She doesn't get to choose what to keep and what to get rid of, she made a choice, she may not like all of the consequences.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Well, she had minor surery today, so I dropped off some flowers. I called later to see how she was and told her anything she needed, I'd get it for her. She said thanks for the flowers instead of complaining about me giving them to her, so that's a plus.

She sees her lawyer for the first time tomorrow, so I expect to be served next week. I need to find something to occupy my mind all weekend so I'm not thinking about it - I'm going dancing if I can.

 

[peacechild4]

Dear Father God, thank You that You are working here.. I continue to stand firm in prayer.. believing that greater are You in us then he that is in the world.. thank You for the love of this man for his wife.. Father I ask that love win out here!! Father thank You thank You that You are working.. I just have to say that over and over.. For when we lift our brokeness to You.. I know You will not leave us broken but help us and heal us.. Amen

 

[tp65]

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Well, my wife saw her lawyer today and wants to meet with me tonite with one of our pastors to talk about it.

Please pray for me to be able to hold in my hurt and not get angry. I love her, but this hurts so much. I stopped to talk to my lawyer; he was busy, but his partner said just don't promise anything and call him in the morning.

 

[peacechild4]

Father God thank You that once again I can pray on behalf of this couple! Father thank You that You go before Airforce Teacher.. and will give him all he needs.. That indeed You are with him through it all in that very meeting.. Father give to him the love he needs to endure this and to stand by his wife no matter what.. and bless him through it.. Show him that he need never be afraid.. only trust.. for You are going to take him all the way through in ways he would never imagine possible! Yes.. He will give You praises for this is Your battle.. and God does not lose ever!! We are conquerors through Christ.. We will have the victory.. Halleujah Amen

 

[AirForceTeacher]

She did not spend the night at home last nite. I talked to her this monring and she tried to lie about it. She won't admit whether she slept with him or not, or even wherer she was - she says it's none of my business, just like it would be none of her business what I do.

Tonite, my girls threw a party (they're great at it) and she and I talked afterward. She is really hurt htat I changed the insurance without telling her, and that she found out the way she did. She said it's an example of me saying one thing and doing another - telling her I care and want to work, but hurting her like that. She said that she's sorry that I'm hurt about her and this guy, but it's not her job to make me believe her when she says nothing was going on before. She said she has no intentions of getting back together with me, and she is not going to pray anymore because she knows it is the right decision.

I wish I'd changed earlier - she just can't get over the years before I started changing, and says that I can't say anything about the last 8 months - "you can't comme in like a knight in shining armor after all the years I spent in counseling, trying to make this work"

I took my ring off this morning. I'm moving on.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I am sorry. It is good to be repentant, but you can't let the enemy condemn you for something you have already confessed, and repented of. She really is trying to be a martyr, and she may well have gone through a lot, and she may need time to heal, but that is not the same thing as letting go of the marriage. If what you did back then was so bad, then that's when she should have left you. It is wrong for her to wait until you have changed, and then try to blame you for the past. You may not want to hear this all now, but I do want you to know that what she is laying on you is not from God. She is absolutely wrong, and I think that she will regret her decisions.

All of that said, God can heal you, and He can strengthen you throughout this. That is my prayer for you.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

He is. My counselor and my friends all see the changes. I still make more mistakes with her, so she doesn't. I hate to say it, but maybe our counselor was right ... we had a perfect storm. He told me that I could hve a good relationship with someone else unless she had the same issues as my wife.

if my relationship with my wife has a chance, it will be after it ends and is reborn. It can't be resuscitated - not with her dating.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Still making mistakes is part of being human. If she held herself to the same standard that she is holding you to, she wouldn't measure up either.

I am sorry for your pain. Just let God comfort and heal you.

 

[MaidforHim]

Still making mistakes is part of being human. If she held herself to the same standard that she is holding you to, she wouldn't measure up either.

I am sorry for your pain. Just let God comfort and heal you.

Amen Sister

And if she held herself to God's commands like you have yourself, you wouldn't be separated.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Don't want to retype ...
http://www.christianforums.com/t488...orrow-to-discuss-settlement.html#post32215381

 

[klynnmiller]

I'm sorry to say this, but I think your wife shut the door a long time ago, and I think it was not right for her to keep stringing you along as if there were a chance while she was doing whatever it was that she wanted to do.

So many women try to find the greener grass on the other side thinking that they can just come back to the marriage once they realize the good thing that they had. That their husband won't go on without them. My fiance's ex-wife did the same thing, and after 4 years and having a baby and living with another man, (and finding out that we were getting serious) she thought that she could just say, "I'm a christian now, and you have to get back with me because God hates divorce!" Needless to say, the marriage ended because she was cheating on him.

OK, my point: You did everything you could to save your marriage, and you don't need to keep beating yourself up over it! I know it hurts, and it will take a long time to heal. I pray that God is with you and continues to help you heal and learn from this. You can't change a person's heart. Only God can do that, and there are reasons that He has chosen not to in this, or maybe He has, just not that way you wanted or expected. God is with you and He has everything under control. I pray that He gets you through this divorce as fairly as possible and protects you. I also pray that He gives you hope for a bright future.

Much love and prayers,

Your sister in Christ

 

[Autumnleaf]

AFT, I have to work myself up to advise you these days.

When I was a young Marine Lance Corporal I was a Chaplain's assistant. At that time I attended interdisciplinaory Navy Chaplains meetings weekly for six months. One of the main people there was a civilian schooled in eastern religions who was also a Christian, as well as a consummate student to martial arts. This guy was a spook of the cloth.

I was young and my marriage was hot and cold. He confided in me that there were times when his lawfully wedded wife was his enemy. They are still married. She was his enemy. Reread those last three sentences half a million times because I won't type them again for you. There are times when your wife is your enemy and you should treat her as such. This fellow is STILL married and his children are not messed up. They are grown ups who pay more than their fair share in taxes like most 'good' Americans. I followed his advice. You should too. Laying the king down on the chess board when your wife is on the other side is like Jesus saying, 'AFT you are right and I am wrong. Please believe in me and love me.' It just does not work my friend.

 

[peacechild4]

Hi Brother.. When we are down to nothing God is up to something!! I continue to pray and lift your marriage.. family and wife to the Lord Jesus.. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords...able to do the impossible.. No matter how things look.. God is at work here.. \0/

Proverbs 16:9 (New King James Version)
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

 

[tp65]

AFT, my advice at this point would be: be a man of integrity, do not make stupid mistakes in regard to your marriage but do protect yourself and your children. It sounds like this is what you are already doing to me. Leave the door open for reconciliation but prepare yourself for the worst. Do not do anything that contradicts the Word. Listen to Godly friends and to necessary legal advice (but don't let a lawyer give you marital advice, unless he/she is a Christian friend too). Mostly, give it over to God in prayer...as others have said, He is working. I have prayed for you and your wife this morning and will continue to do so. Blessings, T

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Yes, AL, the king is laying down oon his side. She has reiterated time and again that she will not ever reconcile with me. Does that mean it can never happen? No, she still cares about me and at some future time, it may grow back into the love I desire. Am I going to wait around for it? No, I can't, not as long as she has a boyfriend. I am moving on, going to protect myself and my future family. I do intend to remarry someday, and at my age, any woman I were to marry would probably have kids, so I have to make sure that I am stable. More importantly, I have to make sure I am stable for my kids - they're all I have left of family.

This stinks, it's not what I wanted, but no amount of wishing will change it. If God wants to work a miracle, then I will rejoice, but the reality right now is that my marriage is over, and it's time to treat it like business.

It really stinks.

TP, my lawyer is a Christian, but I've never met him before this. I do have good Christian friends. I have one friend in particular, John, who has been a mentor to me for years, both as an Air Force Officer and as a Christian. He has given me nothing but sound advice throughout this ordeal.

The door is open, but I'm not sitting out on the front porch waiting.

 

[tp65]

Glad to hear it, I wasn't advocating sitting around and waiting...just not closing the door to God's miracle...if it is in His plan. Actually, I think you should move forward and let God deal with the rest.