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Please help!

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Marcela Timson, Dec 8, 2018 at 10:22 AM.

  1. Marcela Timson

    Marcela Timson New Member

    2
    +5
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    My husband of 15 years told me one day that he wanted out, that he did not love me anymore. 3 days after these heartbreaking news I discovered that he had already filed for divorce a month ago witjout telling me anything.
    While I saw this as a call to action to address and try to fix our situation, he refused any kind of therapy and refused any kind of Christian counselling.
    I tried to show him that I could better myself like being more present -because I was working too much and tgat affected my interaction with my family- show him live and respect. I cut my extra curricular activities like teaching gym classes, dropped work and he stayed strong saying he was done. He served me the papers in September and I felt in a horrible depression. I tried to keep myself up but any kind of gain was tinted by why you didn't do this before. I don't know how to feel about you. Day after Thanksgiving I discovered 2 things. One he was going to serve me again more divorce papers while he was gone on a long business trip. 2 he has been contacting other women on date sites. I found one profile of a woman that looked just like me but 7 years younger. I confronted him and he keeled down and felt guilty but never asked for forgiveness. We have a 4 year old boy. He left for his business trip the 4 first days and nigjt he was very talkative and communicative showing us his room to me and my kid. But the 4 night he didn't call I called him and he was nervous, he had removed his wedding ring, he had changed hotels witj a Jacuzzi in his room. When I asked if he was with another woman he hanged up on us. From there for 7 days he said th at his camera on his phone didn't work and his communication was so short. My son asked daddy I want to see your face, he said I love you baby I have to go.
    Yesterday he came home he told me not to pick him up from the airport that his mom and dad were picking him up.
    He spent the night with them.
    He came yesterday in the afternoon asking me begging me to go to his lawyers to sign the papers. That he is willing to work with me. That if I don't agree I will loose big time. I hugged him. Told him I love our family and I forgive him. He said he was not cheating on us. But he stopped loving me 2 years ago and he didn't tell me about it because he was trying but he gave up. I asked him to repent for his sons, to come back to his family. He watched tv for 2 hours witj his son and refused to spend more time and left. Please help with any advice. I am in a very dark place. I cannot believe that my best friend has all this hate in his heart for me.
     
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  2. musicalpilgrim

    musicalpilgrim pilgrim on the sacred music pathway Supporter Angels Team

    +16,174
    United Kingdom
    Pentecostal
    Married
    I am so sorry, I will pray for you, that the Father will work in the life of your family. Dear Father protect their son, heal and restore the marriage.
    Marcela, the Lord wants you to put your faith and trust in him. He will protect you and your son, may the Lord bless you richly and strengthen you, in Jesus name.
     
  3. Marcela Timson

    Marcela Timson New Member

    2
    +5
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Amen. Thank you for the prayer.
     
  4. mnorian

    mnorian Oldbie--Eternal Optimist Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

    +5,940
    Christian
    Married
    Mod hat on
    [​IMG]
    This thread has been moved from
    Introduce Yourself
    to
    Christian Advice
    For a better fit and responses
    Carry on
     
  5. sunshine100

    sunshine100 Well-Known Member

    626
    +487
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Hello and welcome
     
  6. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

    +638
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Constitution
    You need to start going to counseling, either at your church, or to someone else.

    He is not going to go. You still need to go. This is going to be hard enough for you to do alone. Just because he doesn't go, doesn't mean you shouldn't.

    My guess is, there is something else behind all this. Men typically don't act this way, unless there is another influence.

    It is possible.... that simply being neglectful of your marriage, and spending so much time away from home, instead of with your husband, may have created this entire thing.... I just find that hard to believe. I think there has to be something else, not just neglect.

    So... You need to see a counselor. There is absolutely no guarantee that if you fix whatever it was that destroyed your married, that he will just come back around. No guarantees in life.

    However, there is a high chance that if you don't fix whatever it is that caused the problem, that your marriage will not be fix, and if the terrible happens, and you end up with someone else without fixing the problem, you'll end up in the same place again.

    So, you need to see a counselor, with, or without your husband. Even if your part in this sad story, is only 5% of the problem, fix that 5%. Do your best, to repair whatever it is that you can repair.

    Beyond that.... there isn't anything here that I see, that I can give you clear sound advice on. There is so little that makes sense, and there is obviously more to the story.

    The only thing I can think of off hand is that he is having an affair, and he hopes that by driving you off, that he won't feel guilty about it. Again, this is just a guess based on limited information, which again is why... at the risk of being repetitious.... You need to start going to counseling.

    I would also call his parents, and ask them, what is going on? Why is your son wanting to divorce me? We have a family, and I need him. Say that to his parents. Say that to his brothers and sisters. Yes it will make him angry.... who cares? If you don't, and he divorces, will you sit around thinking 'at least I didn't make him mad'? Make him mad. Tell everyone. Put some social pressure on him, to come clean.

    Again, whatever part you had to play in this, you own up and fix. But after that, you put the screws on this guy, and pray tough. Pray G-d brings down the fires of Heaven on his head, to drive him back to his senses.

    That is my advice. May G-d be with you.
     
  7. Seadish

    Seadish New Member

    46
    +38
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Praying for you and your family
     
  8. Esther2286

    Esther2286 New Member

    2
    +0
    United States
    Christian
    Married
     
  9. Esther2286

    Esther2286 New Member

    2
    +0
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time. I’m reading your post and remembering my own life. This was me!

    It’s so difficult to deal with the emotional rejection and knowing that he doesn’t want to go through any counseling makes it feel like your life is out of control. God hates divorce! So, do I.

    My heart goes out to you!

    I pray that your husband has a change of heart and that your family is restored. May the Lord also mend your heart and provide you the peace that passes all understanding, as you walk through this valley. May He guide and direct your steps and keep you safely tucked under the shadow of His wings. Amen.

    Do you have family, friends, and church to go to for support? It helps to have that connection.
     
  10. John Bowen

    John Bowen Active Member Supporter

    323
    +155
    Fiji
    Christian
    Single
    I would tell your husband for the sake of your children you should stay together,It not about him or you it about them at least until they are raised .
     
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