pills that are killing me

[azariah1982]

Thank you guys for praying for me

Um I don't mean to be a crybaby
But I just can't seem to find happiness again
I've been asking God to take my life
I've been taking this pill called isentress
This pill causes myopathy within 3-6 Months
Why would they give me a drug that would add to my decline. It causes bipolar and anemia I take another one that causes anemia.

I've been asking my nurses to see my doctor for months now and I STILL HAVE NOT SEEN HIM. I am tired of being n this nursing home, in this body.

I have no support from my family.

I am very lethargic and drowsy all the time. I know these pills are killing me. I have no vitality.

My heart is extremely heavy. I feel like I am not gonna make it.

I tell Him dont wake up. I ask Him why did he create me.

Also I have these uncontrollable spasms which is a side effect from isentress (hiv Med).
I slept most the day yesterday this cna couldn't even wake me up.

I ate no lunch or dinner last night. The foods in nursing homes are so unhealthy.

This lady father died here at the nursing home and I kept in touch with her (she's very nice) she said you sound down and I fold her why.

She said where would you want to be? I said in heaven. She said are you for real. I said yeah. "Sometimes I feel this way". But lately its been more often.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

I'm a crybaby and I'm not in a nursing home. You can cry to me, okay? I begged God to take my life too but after a month or so I realized the answer is no. It's not time. So I figured I better get with the program & figure out what He requires of me. Well, I think I should take care of my body as much as possible so you need to eat that food even if you don't want to, your body needs nutrients.

I'll also pray for you and I'm so thankful that you posted today. I'm glad to know you're hanging in there. If you ever wish to talk privately please just send me a pm. I'll give you my email address and you can cry to me day and night if you want. I'm a night worker so I'm up in the wee hours of the morning and i carry my email about on my cellphone. anytime brother.

God bless & God is love
Speckle

 

[azariah1982]

It was the same thing from earlier. Its crazy because God has giving me so much and believe me I appreciate it.

What's your pm. Also, can u check out my song. What is ur name.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

i'll send you a private message

Where is your song?

 

[Criada]

It sounds as though you have a lot of reason to be unhappy, brother - it isn't being a 'crybaby' to admit that you feel bad!
Praying that you get to see your doc soon and that the meds can be sorted out. Also that you can find some joy and blessing in life today, and that God comforts and holds you through the dark times