Physical changes before/after divorce?

[Servant68]

When I was married, my buddies would comment on a woman that was married suddenly getting into shape and losing weight was getting ready to divorce. We called it "Divorce Dieting" and it was tragically pretty accurate.

My ex-wife started really getting into hiking while my job had me stress eating and gaining 80lbs or so in the last year of our marriage. I expressed a desire to participate with her on her hiking trips, but she said I was too out of shape to keep up.

I never saw it coming.

Then, after I got divorced, my buddies all told me how I was going to lose weight and get into shape and start dating younger women. They had seen it a dozen times and gave me examples of guys who had came out of a miserable marriage that were now doing marathons and dating hot college women. Obviously my old buddies were not Christians...

The theory was that the usual psychological response to the pain and rejection of divorce was intense self-improvement and self-medication through physical pleasure. That's why so many men who get divorced start getting into awesome physical shape and losing weight.

That never happened to me. It's now four years after my divorce and I'm just now losing weight and getting back into shape.

Was curious as to other's observations about changing behaviors and bodies before/after divorce.

 

[JAM2b]

For me personally I put on a huge amount of weight before my separation and divorce because stress binge eating. I could eat a whole cake by myself in 24 hours, in addition to meals and other snacks.

When I left him and knew I was headed for divorce, a lot of stress left me for a little while because I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I had made a solid decision about my situation. The stress eating stopped, and I dropped 20 pounds just by not overeating, without changing other parts of my diet or adding any exercise.

Since then my weight has gone up and down.

 

[JAM2b]

My ex-wife started really getting into hiking while my job had me stress eating and gaining 80lbs or so in the last year of our marriage. I expressed a desire to participate with her on her hiking trips, but she said I was too out of shape to keep up.

This hurts so much.

My ex was into card games and computer games. He spent huge chunks of hours playing. He never wanted me around much and didn't let me participate very often. He said that I wouldn't fit in with his friends, his friends didn't like me, I couldn't play well enough to play with him and his friends.

 

[Barney]

A woman getting into shape before a divorce probably already has a man she's getting into shape for. Sorry.

Women are usually the culprit behind failed marriages, so don't feel like you're at fault for the failed marriage, unless you really did do something unforgivable. Women file for divorce the vast majority of the time. And, they're the ones who usually make a marriage miserable, especially in regards to appearance and the bedroom. After the divorce, they start working on their appearance and they become sexually loose.

FYI, I'm not divorced, so no one attribute my words to personal experience about the cause of divorce.

 

[Servant68]

Women are usually the culprit behind failed marriages, so don't feel like you're at fault for the failed marriage, unless you really did do something unforgivable.

Nothing unforgivable; we just weren't in love. She told me during the divorce that I was a good man that never cheated on her, didn't hit her or the kids, was a good father and a good provider, so she wasn't going to try and take my 401k or anything unreasonable. It was an amicable divorce. After she refused my pleas for counseling and a 6-month hiatus on the divorce process, I just accepted it was over and moved forward.

It was finding out later that two days after the divorce was finalized that she had remarried that hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been played and lied to. Twenty years of marriage meant nothing to her.

I was not without blame; I was lazy, negative, and unhappy with my job. But I don't think I deserved to be cheated on and lied to.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

A woman getting into shape before a divorce probably already has a man she's getting into shape for. Sorry.

Women are usually the culprit behind failed marriages, so don't feel like you're at fault for the failed marriage, unless you really did do something unforgivable. Women file for divorce the vast majority of the time. And, they're the ones who usually make a marriage miserable, especially in regards to appearance and the bedroom. After the divorce, they start working on their appearance and they become sexually loose.

FYI, I'm not divorced, so no one attribute my words to personal experience about the cause of divorce.

Although, I hear that women do the filing most of the time, but it was usually do in part of the husband getting too comfortable or "content" in the marriage where they stop dating their wives. They feel "Well, I caught the train, no real need to chase it anymore." and that's that.

After years of this, the woman feels neglected or sometimes she feels that he's not listening to her.

Then , before you know it, he comes home and her bags are packed...and he's left scratching his head wondering what in the world happened, but he was oblivious to the signs.

 

[LLindsay]

A woman getting into shape before a divorce probably already has a man she's getting into shape for. Sorry.

Women are usually the culprit behind failed marriages, so don't feel like you're at fault for the failed marriage, unless you really did do something unforgivable. Women file for divorce the vast majority of the time. And, they're the ones who usually make a marriage miserable, especially in regards to appearance and the bedroom. After the divorce, they start working on their appearance and they become sexually loose.

FYI, I'm not divorced, so no one attribute my words to personal experience about the cause of divorce.

This is incredibly cynical and unfair! Have some grace and respect for women! Marriages break down due to sin and a million small decisions to not follow Gods plan for the marriage. A blanket statement of hate is going to scare/hurt some people reading through this!

FYI: In my situation my husband left for another woman for very selfish reasons that have nothing to do with the above... and i have not become "sexually loose" lol.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

When I was going through my divorce, I dropped about 40 pounds in the space of a couple months thanks to the stress and depression. Heck of a way to lose weight.

 

[polish_bear_65]

I don't know. Seems like you guys had full or at least semi functioning relationships. I can tell you that only a few times in my life I felt better than when I signed those papers. Sometimes it's no point to go on just for the sake of doin' it.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

When I was married, my buddies would comment on a woman that was married suddenly getting into shape and losing weight was getting ready to divorce. We called it "Divorce Dieting" and it was tragically pretty accurate.

My ex-wife started really getting into hiking while my job had me stress eating and gaining 80lbs or so in the last year of our marriage. I expressed a desire to participate with her on her hiking trips, but she said I was too out of shape to keep up.

I never saw it coming.

Then, after I got divorced, my buddies all told me how I was going to lose weight and get into shape and start dating younger women. They had seen it a dozen times and gave me examples of guys who had came out of a miserable marriage that were now doing marathons and dating hot college women. Obviously my old buddies were not Christians...

The theory was that the usual psychological response to the pain and rejection of divorce was intense self-improvement and self-medication through physical pleasure. That's why so many men who get divorced start getting into awesome physical shape and losing weight.

That never happened to me. It's now four years after my divorce and I'm just now losing weight and getting back into shape.

Was curious as to other's observations about changing behaviors and bodies before/after divorce.

Within 3 months of my wife kicking me out I lost 51 pounds and got way hotter. It had zero to do with trying to impress others, I started spinach smoothies for breakfast and lunch, and worked my way up from not being able to job a mile to doing 25 a week and 11 single mile PR. The fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Bible was carbs dude don’t eat them they are trash.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

When I was going through my divorce, I dropped about 40 pounds in the space of a couple months thanks to the stress and depression. Heck of a way to lose weight.

Yea I was on the same diet -51 for me

 

[nhisname]

When I was married, my buddies would comment on a woman that was married suddenly getting into shape and losing weight was getting ready to divorce. We called it "Divorce Dieting" and it was tragically pretty accurate.

The crazy truth I never saw it coming...Did I trust too much?
My ex-wife started really getting into hiking while my job had me stress eating and gaining 80lbs or so in the last year of our marriage. I expressed a desire to participate with her on her hiking trips, but she said I was too out of shape to keep up.

I never saw it coming.

Then, after I got divorced, my buddies all told me how I was going to lose weight and get into shape and start dating younger women. They had seen it a dozen times and gave me examples of guys who had came out of a miserable marriage that were now doing marathons and dating hot college women. Obviously my old buddies were not Christians...

The theory was that the usual psychological response to the pain and rejection of divorce was intense self-improvement and self-medication through physical pleasure. That's why so many men who get divorced start getting into awesome physical shape and losing weight.

That never happened to me. It's now four years after my divorce and I'm just now losing weight and getting back into shape.

Was curious as to other's observations about changing behaviors and bodies before/after divorce.

 

[bèlla]

I’ve never been married but there’s a similar response with breakups. Especially when the relationship is stressful. When the ending settles in its akin to a weight being lifted from your shoulders.

You don’t realize the albatross you’re carrying or their affect on your head and heart until they’re gone. For some, a renaissance follows. Not because you’ve got another lined up. You can finally breathe and enjoy life without drama and upset.

You don’t know the value of peace of mind until its gone.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[Dr. Duderino]

Well, as others have said:
Significant stress leading up to, during and in the after math of marital breakdown and divorce causes high circulating stress hormones ie. cortisone levels which are weight positive, such as seen in people taking corticosteroids like prednisone for prolonged periods of time.
That and stress eating, go hand in hand. Especially stress eating.
However, once a person exits especially abusive miserable marriages then tend to come back to them selves and slowly recover their old self.
Their family sees who "the light" has come back into their eyes, color returned to their faces, etc.
I am experiencing this now, but also have yet to lose more weight (already lost 30 lbs, but that began before the break up as I was trying to get in shape for health sake).