Orderly, Mutual Relationships
Col 3:18-4:1
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not become harsh toward them.
Wives, submit...It does not say cower, it does not say obey in the manner that you are the lesser or like he is the parent and you are the child. It also does not say that you have no say in the matter but if when there is discussion that you do not fight and resist what he, after praying (assuming he's a god-fearing man) and considering your thoughts and opinons decides, that you, the wife, do not fly off the handle and it becomes your way or the highway.
If you believe your husband is wrong go over your husbands head and take it to God and trust that if your husband is wrong that God will intervene. Trust that God will take care of you and which ever one of you is missing it, it will be revealed by your obedience to God and not arguing and causing disruption in the family...not in weakness, but in strength.
Abram was a god-fearing man yet made a decision out of his own fear and put his wife Sarai in a bad situation. Even though it does not clearly say she took it to God, I'm sure she did, and God intervened. (Gen 12:10-20) I think too that Sarai probably would have spoken up if it had gone the length it could have, but God intervened.
The point is that husband and wife are one and according to God, the husband is directly responsible to HIM for the direction the family goes. The wife must not interfere with that relationship. She must walk in the manner that God has called her and in doing so teach her children how to be with their spouces when they have one and how to trust God.
Husband, love your wive. She is your equil, not your servant, not your child. You are not responsible for her thoughts and feelings. Listen to her and consider what she has to asay. Don't just make decisions and tell her she as to follow. Don't order her around. You are the leader, not the boss.
Children, obey your parents in every respect, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become discouraged.
Children, obey your parents. There is the assumption the parents are not telling their kids to do things that are destructive and or breaking the law. Yet, again, if the parent is doing that then kids, you too can go over their head and take it directly to God and trust HIM to intervene on your behalf.
Parents, stop doing things that are frustrating to your children. Don't make fun of the things they enjoy or like. If they want to be a cartoon animator, then encourage them in it. If they want to be a dancer encourage them in being a dancer that glorifies God, else they later rebel and dance in shameful manners. Don't keep trying to push them into things they don't enjoy just because in your eyes it's a better occupation. Directing them is one thing, pushing them in a way they do not want to go is another.
The same as with each other, take it to God and let Him deal with it. He made their heart and has a plan for them that is the best for them.
Stop correcting every little thing that they do that you don't like with making them feel foolish for liking it. Encourage them. Teach them by doing, not by standing over them yelling at them how stupid they are for not already knowing it.
Slaves, obey your human masters in every respect—not just within your master’s sight as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it from the soul, as for the Lord and not for people. For you know that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as a reward. It is to the Lord Messiah you are giving service. For the one doing wrong will be paid back for what he did wrong, and there is no favoritism.
Slaves in this setting were people who had become indebted in some way and were sold or they sold themselves and/or their own children in order to work off debts. In today's world it is most comparable to employer and employee. The employee should do what they've been hired to do and not resist, unless you're being told to break the law. Do what you are paid to do. You are not paid to sit around and talk, even if it's about Jesus. Demonstrate Jesus by doing what you're being paid to do. You will be a better witness that way.
Be a good worker even when your employer is not looking. Even if the employer is unfair, work for God and God will make sure you receive the reward HE has for you.
Masters, give your slaves what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Bosses, be as fair and just to your workers as you can be. Don't be greedy and withhold if you can do better and they deserve it. Treat them well and don't disrespect them and yell and curse at them when they make a mistake. Don't just tell them how bad they are doing but tell them when they do it right and for goodness sake don't use that word, "but". It undoes everything good you said before it.