Pastor using explicit terms

[faithangel2017]

I recently went to a counseling session with my pastor about my girlfriend an he kept saying an using the term "cougar" is that appropriate, even thou she is older then? I feel like that was not a good sign.

 

[Tayla]

I recently went to a counseling session with my pastor about my girlfriend an he kept saying an using the term "cougar" is that appropriate, even thou she is older then? I feel like that was not a good sign.

Get a real counselor, one with at least a master's degree in psychology.

 

[drjean]

Hmmm that is unusual.... is she really that much older than you? Maybe if she is, he was trying to run her off and make her grow up and quit preying upon a younger mate? I agree though, using that term is not appropriate, but then neither is a much older-much younger relationship. Not a good sign for relationships, trust me.

 

[seeking.IAM]

It is difficult to judge a word without also knowing the totality of the context in which it was used. What point was being made, or was there any point to it at all? It seems to have offended you so it was at least an unfortunate word choice. But as far as "explicit" goes, counselors can use words a lot more explicit than that.

Really, if something was said in counseling that gives you pause, you should discuss it with your counselor (pastor, in this case), even if only to mark your displeasure. It's always better to try to work out differences before walking away to a new counselor.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Get a real counselor, one with at least a master's degree in psychology.

Pastors in main line churches have more than a masters degree. It is the associate degree pastors you have to watch out for. They do not have enough training to council anyone. They can preach a sermon because God is working through them for that.

 

[seeking.IAM]

As a psychotherapist, I only go so far in discussing religious issues before saying, "I think you should talk with your pastor about that." Wise clergy do likewise when they are in over their head on counseling issues.

 

[Dave-W]

I recently went to a counseling session with my pastor about my girlfriend an he kept saying an using the term "cougar" is that appropriate, even thou she is older then? I feel like that was not a good sign.

Since when was "cougar" an explicit term??

 

[Tom 1]

I recently went to a counseling session with my pastor about my girlfriend an he kept saying an using the term "cougar" is that appropriate, even thou she is older then? I feel like that was not a good sign.

I would say using that term is suggestive and disrespectful to your gf, given the general connotations it has in the world.

 

[Petros2015]

he kept saying an using the term "cougar"

lol doesn't sound like your pastor approves of your gf.

If she's a predator though, then it's appropriate.

 

[ViaCrucis]

I don't know if it's "explicit", but I find it hard to see how it would be respectful, especially in the context of pastoral counseling. I'd think that a qualified pastor, if they had reason to be concerned, could find plenty of ways to discuss that in ways which are respectful.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Tayla]

Pastors in main line churches have more than a masters degree. It is the associate degree pastors you have to watch out for. They do not have enough training to council anyone. They can preach a sermon because God is working through them for that.

In my view, people should not be counseling unless they are highly trained in psychology as I noted. Theological degrees do not count.

 

[Dave-W]

In my view, people should not be counseling unless they are highly trained in psychology as I noted. Theological degrees do not count.

And they should be well versed in the gifts of knowledge, wisdom and discerning of spirits. See 1 Cor 12.

Example: A woman I know is a clinical psycotherapist. Before going into private practice, she worked at a local (northern virgina) mental hospital. One day a patient there slit her wrists in an attempted suicide. Fortunately she was immediately given medical care. A few days later when her wounds were healing up she was taken before several of the staff to answer some questions. My friend was last in the rotation. they all asked how she smuggled in the knife, what her mental state was, why she felt it necessary to cut herself. (the normal stuff)

My friend asked her "Where did you hide the other knife?"

 

[dayhiker]

I don't know why your pastor used this term ... but I don't find it appropriate for him to use it.

 

[Paidiske]

Pastors in main line churches have more than a masters degree. It is the associate degree pastors you have to watch out for. They do not have enough training to council anyone. They can preach a sermon because God is working through them for that.

Not in counselling or psychology. I have a masters' degree in divinity and other qualifications, but I'm not a qualified counsellor or psychologist, and someone needing formal counselling needs more than I can give them.

 

[*LILAC]

If you have a problem with it then you should tell him. How much older is she than you? Why are you counseling?

 

[joshua 1 9]

Not in counselling or psychology. I have a masters' degree in divinity and other qualifications, but I'm not a qualified counsellor or psychologist, and someone needing formal counselling needs more than I can give them.

My brother has a PhD in Psychology and I do not consider him to be qualified for anything other then testing. If you look at his personal life it is a mess. I think people go into psychology because they are hoping to find a solution for their own issues. God has the answers and the solutions, not man.

 

[Par5]

My brother has a PhD in Psychology and I do not consider him to be qualified for anything other then testing. If you look at his personal life it is a mess. I think people go into psychology because they are hoping to find a solution for their own issues. God has the answers and the solutions, not man.

How nice of you to bad mouth your own brother and if Christian Forums.com is anything to go by, lots of Christians have "issues" even though they believe in the biblical god.

 

[Radagast]

Get a real counselor, one with at least a master's degree in psychology.

I'm guessing from the O.P. that this was about pastoral advice on relationships/future marriage rather than counselling for problems, so it sounds like pastor territory.

 

[FireDragon76]

It's not necessarily respectful to women to be using that term in most contexts. Perhaps it was just a tasteless joke, but what I just said still applies.

It's also not particularly respectful to your relationship. Frankly, I'd find another church if that is typical of his attitudes. Your pastor could be making judgments about your personal life that he should not be making.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I recently went to a counseling session with my pastor about my girlfriend an he kept saying an using the term "cougar" is that appropriate, even thou she is older then? I feel like that was not a good sign.

It sounds pretty inappropriate to me...the term "couger" generally refers to a sexually aggressive older woman who's into younger men. Even if she fits the term, it's somewhat derogatory and I would feel disrespected.

Keep in mind though, you went to your pastor for counseling. As far as I know, they have no professional standard or training as counselors. You get what you've paid for.