Pastor gets standing ovation for sexual sin against a woman, she is appalled

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Paidiske

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What would reconciliation in this case look like? What should it look like?

I don't think we can dictate that from the outside. What I think we can say is that it will put the victim and her needs at the centre of the process and any outcomes.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Forgiveness doesn't mean there aren't temporal consequences, or avoiding the foolishness to trust. He should be removed from the pastorate, and never left alone with teens again.

Really? Are you not a believer in 2nd chances? I believe he's had enough time to stew on it. To think about what he's done. 22, now he's 42, I'm sure he's a different man now.

I mean, think about it as time served. Like a prison sentence. Rehabilitation.
 
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majj27

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Really? Are you not a believer in 2nd chances? I believe he's had enough time to stew on it. To think about what he's done. 22, now he's 42, I'm sure he's a different man now.

I mean, think about it as time served. Like a prison sentence. Rehabilitation.

Not the best of analogies, becuase you actually have to GO to prison to serve time. You can't just go about your life as usual and after a certain amount of time say "Welp, guess I'm good to go! Nobody can give me flak for that crime now!"
 
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Radagast

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He should be removed from the pastorate, and never left alone with teens again.

Why, exactly?

Twenty years ago, as a college student in marketing, employed by a church to lead a youth group, he (1) began a romantic relationship with a student in his group, and (2) engaged in consensual sexual activity with that student (obviously both of these things were wrong).

Since then, he has (1) gone to seminary, (2) become a pastor, and (3) gotten married. There is no evidence of any sexual wrongdoing since that incident 20 years ago, nor is there any evidence that he is any kind of danger to "teens."
 
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Radagast

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SolomonVII

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Does that absolve him of the responsibility to try? (That's a serious question, not a sarcastic one).
No.
A public repentance is a means for a sinner to take responsibility for his sin.
God, being God, absolves a sinner who repents of his sin. Forgiveness is his divine nature.
It doesn't mean people will. People are very good at holding each other to their sins.
It is understandable why too. Sins are very destructive to both the sinner and the one sinned against
Public repentance of sins were at one time the norm for the early church, with the sinner repenting and the whole congregation forgiving, through the power of Christ.
For a variety of reasons I suppose, the Catholic Church began to hear sinners repent privately, with the sinner confessing, and the priest absolving through the power of Christ.
I imagine a lot of the reason for that change in procedure is that human forgiveness is seldom complete, and what becomes part of the public common knowledge is able to feed the gossip mills for years and years and years.
Sexual sin in particular ruins the reputations of all involved, even the innocent. Our sexual imaginations are powerful forces of nature. It becomes nearly impossible to know something sexual about somebody else and not think of it whenever we see their lips move.
God gave us the privacy of clothes as his first act of mercy towards us. Such is the nature of the human consciousness after the fall, and our nakedness hits us like a ton of bricks.

It has been very convenient too for churches to cover-up all improprieties, all in the name of mercy, sincere or not.
But once a sexual sin becomes common knowledge, maybe that is a good time for a public repentance.
God at least forgives, even if people incapable of forgiveness will forever be seeing this man in their minds eye in a sexual act with a nubile seventeen year old.
 
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Sketcher

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I don't think we can dictate that from the outside. What I think we can say is that it will put the victim and her needs at the centre of the process and any outcomes.
That's a given, but if he's going to be criticized for letting that e-mail sit and for not doing enough to work toward reconciliation, people should at least know what it looks like to do right instead. There needs to be a standard for well-meaning co-workers to hold repentant perpetrators to, and it needs to avoid further harm to the victim(s). It's easy for well-meaning people to say or do the wrong thing, as this situation is showing us.
 
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A71

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It is not complicated. He violated her trust, he violated her innocence and purity, he violated the purity of his office, and he violated the Church.
He knew from the outset that what he had done was grievous, and begged her to bury it forever. He did not say bury it for 10, 15, or 20 years, he said bury it til we are dead.
He would never reply, because he knows it is fatal to his career.
What more is left to say?
 
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2Timothy2:15

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That happened, actually.



That seems to have happened too.



They didn't handle it well, but they also didn't "cover it up."

I am not sure where you got your info from but everything I read did not indicate he was removed or that any of what I said happened. If you have a source that says different please share because it was not in any article I read.


Watch Keep: Silent no more: a survivor of sexual assault by prominent Memphis pastor Andy Savage shares her story #metoo #churchtoo #silenceisnotspiritual

I will not post the whole thing here but you and others can read it for yourself. If after reading the entire first hand testimony you still think this is no biggie well..

Larry Cotton was the Associate Pastor of Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church at the time. Steve Bradley was the head pastor. I mustered up the courage to go tell them what happened. For some reason, Steve wasn’t available, so I only spoke with Larry. I remember asking him if I could speak privately with him and he said yes. I started out by saying something awful had happened to me. I was already crying. Somehow, I felt brave enough to tell Larry every detail of what had happened with Andy. I was mortified but I thought I was doing the right thing as both Larry and Steve were over Andy in the church and I was way too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone else, especially my own parents.

Just as I had finished telling my story, Larry immediately spoke up and asked me to clarify. He said something to the effect of, ‘So you’re telling me you participated?’ I remember feeling like my heart had just sunk to the floor. What was he asking? More importantly, what was he trying to imply? This wave of shame came over me, greater than I had ever felt before. I had just gotten done telling him everything that Andy, my youth pastor, asked me to do. I didn't say that I screamed no, jumped out of the car and ran into the dark forest because I hadn't. I told him that Andy had asked me to perform oral sex and unbutton my shirt and I did. Every ounce of courage I had gathered, to walk in there and tell Larry the truth about what had happened to me, left in an instant. Not only did I suddenly feel this immense guilt for doing what Andy had asked me to do but I also started to feel that this was my fault somehow because I didn't stop him.

As you might imagine, I was beyond overwhelmed at the myriad of emotions I was feeling. I remember Larry telling me that he would have to share with Steve all that I had told him. I asked what was going to happen next and he said that him and Steve would be talking to Andy and that the church would be handling the situation. He told me not to speak with Andy and said that he would be telling Andy not to speak with me as well. Through the tears, I told him that I was too embarrassed to tell my Mom what had happened. He said not to worry, that they would talk to my Mother as well. He then told me not mention anything that had happened to anyone else. It was very clear to me that I was not to say a word to anyone.

As days passed I remember feeling more and more hopeless. I was confused as it seemed that Andy got to go about his day to day life, within the church and outside of it, as though nothing had ever happened. In fact, he led a 2-day event at the church, known as True Love Waits, promoting sexual purity not only in abstinence from intercourse before marriage but also abstinence in any physical contact, actions and thoughts which might lead to sexual arousal. The irony had not been lost on me. Yet, here I was sinking deeper and deeper into this pit of depression. I had no where to go, no one to talk to. After all, I was given one job by the person I had sought help from (Larry,) and that was to keep my mouth shut.

Not long after, I was meeting at the church with my all female discipleship group. I hadn’t had much interest in even being at church since everything that had happened but, deep down, I think I was just seeking some sort of solace in my faith for all the pain and hurt I was going through. Something came over me that night. I remember feeling disgusted and frustrated. What happened to me was not right! Why were my pastors not listening?! As if a final breath of courage filled my lungs, I opened my mouth and began to share some of what had happened to me. Looking back now, I know without a doubt, it was a cry for help. Tears ran down my cheeks. I remember feeling a slight sense of relief as this was no longer just a secret between myself, Andy, Larry and Steve. However, I too remember feeling as though I had just played my last card. I knew I had broken the rules of silence and that there would be consequences to my actions.



Word got back to Larry and Steve, almost immediately, that I had shared some things with my discipleship group. Now they had to do something. The youth group had a ski trip coming up and they announced to the families that Andy would not be going. Rumors were starting to spread that something had happened between myself and Andy. People thought/assumed that we had exchanged an ‘innocent’ kiss. The church, however, never came out with an official statement addressing what had happened and/or what was being done about it. Instead, they held a going away reception for Andy at the church in which he was allowed to simply say that he had made a poor decision and that it was time for him to move on from our church. Many people came to love on him, support him and say their goodbyes. There were hugs shared and tears shed. No one truly knew why he was leaving except myself, Andy, Larry and Steve. The gossip amongst my church family only continued to flourish. No one could imagine Andy doing anything bad or immoral, much less illegal, and so, it somehow became my fault that Andy was leaving.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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When people distort as brazenly as you are doing they lose all credibility. Do you have a Church and can you share your real name please. I would like to publish your comments for your Church to read.

Wow....sad...the witch hunt continues even on these forums...sad. I am thinking about starting a thread based on people. ... in these here forums... are condemning those withe a different opinion from their's.

And then wanting to make THEM public.
 
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Paidiske

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