I’ve been struggling with forgiving myself for an incident (sin post salvation) four years ago. It involved someone close to me but they were unaware of what I did (nothing illegal or anything of the sort). I’ve asked God repeatedly for forgiveness and I know he has. I know restitution isn’t required for me to be forgiven or even to keep my salvation. What restitution I did provide I keep asking myself (did you do it the right way? No it wasn’t enough. God hasn’t forgiven you. You’re not saved it you don’t do it again). I’m really struggling and I’m thinking it’s OCD combined with guilt. To the point where I’m praying to God saying “forgive me, I need a break. Can I please take some time off from dealing with this sin?”
So, this all speaks to a serious misunderstanding you have about the basis upon which God forgives sin and accepts us into His kingdom and family. The ONLY basis upon which God accepts any of us is Jesus Christ. He is The Way, the Narrow Way, and the sole Way to a relationship with God. Why? Because God demands
perfect righteousness of those He accepts. He accepts no other standard. None of us is perfectly righteous and will ever be - on our own. But the Good News of salvation is, in part, that, when we trust in Christ as our Saviour and Lord,
his perfect righteousness is imputed to us; we are, in a sense, clothed in his righteousness and God, therefore, declares us to be righteous. And because Christ's righteousness is always perfect and always acceptable to God, those who are clothed in his righteousness are always therefore also acceptable to God.
Romans 5:1-2
1 Therefore, having been justified (made righteous)
by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5:19-21
19 For as through the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous.
20 The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
21 so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Galatians 2:16
16 nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified.
1 Corinthians 1:30-31
30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,
31 so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."
What, then, of those times when one who is accepted by God on this basis is guilty of sin? Does he need to come crawling to God on hands and knees, doing all he can to
earn God's forgiveness by self-recrimination and sorrow? Absolutely not! Such a thing is an offense to God, I think; for it implies that the atoning sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for the forgiveness of sin was not enough; more must done to obtain God's forgiveness; the Christian must add his own work of self-condemnation and sorrow to Christ's in order to satisfy God. This is blasphemous thinking, actually. It diminishes what Jesus did on the cross and allows Self to intrude upon his saving work. I believe God hates this sort of thinking as much as He hates the sin that prompted it.
Do you know what the "Principle of Conformity to Focus" is? It's the idea that the more one is focused on a particular thing, the more power that thing has to shape one's thinking and behaviour. Billions of dollars are spent every year by companies around the world on advertising on the basis of this principle.
This principle works in the spiritual realm, too, and is why you never see anywhere in all of Scripture the command to dwell on sin, on one's moral failings, and on things that are wicked and worldly. No one ever became more like Christ by staring at their sin; no one ever became a holy person by obsessing over their wickedness. Instead, God commands us to fix our gaze upon Jesus, not our sin and weakness, and to be absorbed with him. It is not enough to just turn
away from your sin; you must turn
to the things of God in replacement of your old preoccupation. As you do, you will be transformed by God's Spirit into a person in whom Jesus can be clearly seen.
Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Hebrews 12:2-3
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
Is this what it’s like when the Holy Spirit convicts you? Constantly questioning if you’re in right standing with God or not. I’m at a point where I’m just going to forgive myself and move on. not sure if my mental health can take it anymore.
The conviction of the Holy Spirit moves you toward God in reconciliation; the Holy Spirit convicts you in order to mend your broken fellowship (not relationship) with God.
In contrast, Self, the "old man" Paul wrote of in
Romans 6, who is the person you are apart from God, selfish, fleshly and temporal in focus, loads you with guilt, and self-condemnation, and fear, moving your attention away from Christ to yourself.
