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Past memories are haunting me years later

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by Relle25, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. Relle25

    Relle25 New Member

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    Hello everyone. I've been struggling with a really frustrating issue lately. Some things from my childhood and my teenage years have been heavily tormenting me lately, so bad to the point where I want to cry.

    I am not very comfortable saying what these past memories are on a public forum but I can tell you they are sick, embarrassing, and bring me a lot of shame. I confessed and repented of these sins to God and I know he has forgiven me. I have not even attempted to look at these things in a very long time nor do I have any desire to. However, I keep getting bombarded with thoughts that say "what if your mom knew? your boyfriend? your family?" They would never look at you the same. In some ways, I know this is the enemy bringing these things up.

    The fact is, I'm sure they'd look at me very differently and probably not in a good way either. These things happened in the past and have not gone on for a long time. I did something really difficult by talking to a stranger about these things but they told me I need to know I'm forgiven and I need to move on from it because I'm living a better life now compared to back then. I also talked to my pastor and she told me I have to know I'm forgiven and not everything needs to be said to certain people because of how some people might react. How do I combat these "what if" thoughts and how do I move on from these bad memories without them affecting my current relationships? This has been really hard for me.
     
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  2. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    Once we repent of our sin, our guilt fades away. Perhaps there is a sin you haven't repented of yet.
     
  3. Relle25

    Relle25 New Member

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    That's what is confusing. I asked for forgiveness and repented for the ones I do remember. I don't know what others there could be.
     
  4. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member

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    Many of us have incidents in our past we are ashamed of.
    Often these memories will surface at inapropriate moments to spoil our peace. We have to trust God that he has forgiven and forgotten these events.

    May I surgest that when such memories resurface, that you thank God that he has forgivenyou your past sins.

    I won't hide that deep scars from past activities take time for the knowledge that they have been dealt with to pasify the memories we are ashamed of.

    Do hang on in there. Jesus knew you and your sins before he created the world and he still came to save you. He knows you and loves you for who you are in him.
     
  5. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    If you've stopped sinning, don't worry about it. You are forgiven, as far as I know.
     
  6. Relle25

    Relle25 New Member

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    Thank you :) My only thing now is how do I get past the "what if people knew" thoughts? I know I've been forgiven but I do feel like bringing up these old things would cause more issues. I can say again I'm not doing these things anymore and I'm proud of that. Just can't get past what others would think even though these things aren't relevant anymore.
     
  7. Shoetoyou

    Shoetoyou Sinner Supporter

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    Feelings of guilt and actual guilt are two separate things. Feelings can remain even after actual forgiveness through repentance and confession. Not sure how to get through them, but do recognize them for what they are.
     
  8. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2018
  9. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    You ARE forgiven, but what you continue to feel is common. The older we get, the more we regret our past decisions and are burdened by knowing that we cannot go back and make different ones instead. We are aware that, while we may have been forgiven, we still did whatever it was.

    My personal opinion is that the deeper meaning of being forgiven by God is that these things are going to be erased, not merely forgiven or pardoned in the way we usually think of the meaning of these words, and that that is the wonderful way of God. Unfortunately, we see as through a glass darkly at present and cannot entirely understand how this will be.
     
  10. Relle25

    Relle25 New Member

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    I guess at this point, I'm just trying to live with the things I did. I'm just really upset at the thought of it and that if people knew, they'd think I'm a sick person. And I turned away from these things that are bothering me.
     
  11. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    My experience is that when we repent of our sin, it can take a little while to convince ourselves that the repentance is sincere. However, it doesn't take long, and once we are convinced, the feelings of guilt disappear.
     
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  12. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    We've all sinned - if you've repented of your sin, then nobody out there is any better than you.
     
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  13. thesunisout

    thesunisout growing in grace Supporter

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    2 things:

    1. God knows about your sin and He accepts you through Jesus Christ. If God accepts you, you don't need to worry about the judgment of others.

    Romans 8:1

    There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit

    2. You are not the same person that you were. In Christ, you are a new creation:

    2 Corinthians 5:17

    Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new

    Jesus paid for our past on the cross. He has paid for all of our sins. The scripture says that we are blameless before God when we are right with Him. How are we right with Him? Through our faith in Christ. As we walk with the Lord He shows us our sinfulness and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. We don't have a free pass to sin; God is purifying us in a process called sanctification. Turning from all known sin is what we as Christian need to do to keep our walk pure, and we do that through the power and strength of Jesus Christ.

    You don't need to tell everyone your past to alleviate this torment or absolve yourself; Christ alone is your justification. When you fully realize this all of your guilt and shame will disappear. He has set you free.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2018
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  14. ~Cassia~

    ~Cassia~ Devoted to Truth Supporter

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    That's probably a question on a lot of people's mind with the 'metoo' thing happening. And your female. Make amends where possible (there's a whole step in AA that covers that)
    But remember that God deliverers our sins as far as the east is from the west and it's believing a lie to not forgive ourselves in return. Maybe that's why God says He cannot forgive if we don't also. I know that usually applied to others but it can as easily be applied to forgiving ourselves of sins that we have done against ourselves.
     
  15. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2018
  16. icxn

    icxn Bραδύγλωσσος αἰπόλος μαθητεύων κνίζειν συκάμινα

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    Why silence the memories of past sins? Use them to increase humility and fuel prayer. The fact that you get upset and ashamed when reminded of them is because of some inner pride (you want people to think highly of you). Accuse yourself of being worse - without despairing - than what the thoughts suggest and you will find peace.
     
  17. PeterDona

    PeterDona Active Member Supporter

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    A head on approach would be to test it out. Maybe simply confess it to a stranger on a bus stop and see the reaction.
     
  18. fat wee robin

    fat wee robin Newbie

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    Well you get past the what if people knew by knowing that there is not a soul on earth that is not hiding some embarrasing secret ,some much worse thna yours . Unless these secrets involve you doing terrible things to others ,all you have to confess to is a loving ,forgiving God who has seen it all and more ,beyond what one wants even to begin to imagine .
    I thought recently of our poor God having to look at
    all the horrors of human behaviour since the Fall , and yet He still loves us when we confess to Him and ask forgiveness . He loves it when we turn to Him to get healed and find the joy of His warm Light shining on, and in us .
    Forget others unless the 'sin 'involves them . Even if you feel bad, in God's sight you are His child , or you would not feel bad .
     
  19. Dave-W

    Dave-W Grandparent of six grandchildren Supporter

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    But we have an adversary who goes dumpster diving and keeps bringing up past sins, trying to convince us we were not sincere enough and we still have those sins.

    Remember: he is a liar.
     
  20. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    Perhaps (I know that he is a liar), but we have to make sure we've repented of all our sin. I need to keep myself chaste, sober, and humble.
     
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