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Overprotective Parents

Discussion in 'Young Adults' started by nonoza123, Dec 17, 2018.

  1. Pastors

    0 vote(s)
  2. Youth

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  1. nonoza123

    nonoza123 New Member

    South Africa
    Greetings people

    I am new on this forum and i hope you'll help me with my situation. Here it goes :sigh::

    I am a 27th year old lady who live with both parents. My dad is a pastor and we are Christians. So in 2015 i went to my first interview and it went great and they were ready to take me. So when i told my parents, they were asking me questions about transport and and where will i get the closest transport to go to work. The company i went was very far away from home. I was ready to start a life of my own and find the nearest places to stay but my parents were like "you don't know anyone in that city" or "we don't have a family that is near? how will you travel blablabla".Then i had to let this position down because of them. My dad felt guilty and told my mom that maybe he was overprotective .He made a mistake and brought me a data to look for jobs.

    Then 2016 ,he decided to buy me a car "Atos" to take me from point A to B so that he can't make the same mistakes but now i got a contract job far away from home and when i tell him that i want to take a car with me,all he says it "Your car needs insurance so that you can drive long distance, if accidents happens ,it will be up to me to pay it",and that time he registered the car on my name.

    I got my license in 2012 and it almost 2019 but still nothing. All he does now is read bible at night and during the days but have little time for his family. He never had a bond with me and my big brother. He doesn't know what type of a person i am from (being angry or happy) only person that bonds with me is my neighbor who is 35 years old and a christian too. He knows me down to earth and able to control me when i am angry. He knows me when i am sad or angry and know how to make me happy again.

    Last time i came back from work on the Friday at 5pm .It was getting dark. I called my mom that i will pass the mall at my location to do nails and she okay. While they were busy with my nails ,i couldn't touch my phone. After they were done with me, I saw 12 missed calls coming from my parents. It was 6 missed calls from my mom and 3 missed calls from my dad plus messages. and 3 missed calls from my big brother. My brother sent me a voice note angry because my parents were panicking for nothing. I understand that they care about me but they need to limit themselves because it will be difficult for me when i have a boyfriend or husband. That's why i don't care about relationships or marriage. I become angry when i see couples or people get married. I can't even enjoy life of my own.

    I don't feel 27 years but 11 years old. Truly speaking i can't even take good decision of myself . I always doubt about myself and decision i make. I feel like my life is over and have suicidal thoughts. I even cry everyday in my room:sigh:
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. CherubRam

    CherubRam Well-Known Member

    United States
    It is never wise for women of any age to be alone. Are you not able to find work near home?
  3. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    United Kingdom
    Some questions for you.
    Do you have any girl friends your age in your church or in other churches in town?

    Do you ever visit other churches, church conventions, or go to christian holidays?
    If not start attending another church with people there your age. This will start getting your parents use to your not being there and having to wait for you to arrive home.

    You are working, so start saving.
    You need to be able to pay the deposit on a place to live else where in the country and pay to travel there.

    Once you have saved start looking for work else where and at the same time look for somewhere to live.

    Before living home do go on a holiday without your parents, homesickness is real.

    The simpliest solution would be to find a Christian girl who needs a person to share a place in your town and to move in with her.
  4. barefeetonholyground

    barefeetonholyground CF member for 15 years!

    United States
    Parents get that way when they realize on some level that you can move out and they are powerless to stop you.
    I think it's time you ready yourself for this.