Overly Friendly Children

[Introverted1293]

How do you deal with overly friendly children? I have no desire to hurt them or even offend them, but sometimes there is that one kid or even several kids that are super friendly. You have sites that talk about how to protect your children, which is a good site. There are predators out there, but I am not one of them, however they don't know that, and I have to protect myself from any kind of accusations.

I am usually a loner due to social anxiety, not because I hate people. I go to school and then I come home and do my homework. My neighbors have quite of few kids, and I don't think they have been taught not to talk to strangers. When you talk to me, I am very nice and friendly. But I am very anxious.

Some of the kids are so overly friendly. If they see me carrying a bag of groceries, they always want to help. And I am very disabled. I get vertigo, and just carrying one bag of groceries can be very difficult because I need to use both hands to hold on to something when I walk up the stairs. I sometimes get one of those kids, and it usually is a boy, who wants to carry my groceries up the stairs for me. I try to decline, but stuff falls out of my grocery bags (not all the time, but every once in a while) and then he helps me anyways. This causes a lot of anxiety. I don't know his parents. I don't know if his parents are gonna come at me with a baseball bat.

But this is not the only thing. When I wait for the bus, I get this 5 year old boy (not all the time, but every once in a while) who will strike up a conversation with me. I think he is very lonely, and it makes me sad if he doesn't have friends. But I don't think he should be striking up a conversation with a 38 year old man who is basically a stranger, not just for his protection but for mine as well. I just don't have the balls to tell him not to talk to me, for I feel very sorry for him. Part of me wants to talk to his mom and just tell her what is going on. I know his mom. The last thing I need is some parent coming at me with a baseball bat because they see their kid talking to me. I will not be able to run without falling and stumbling for I have vertigo.

What would be the right thing to do in these situations?

I have asked these questions before, but people haven't been helpful.

 

[Hieronymus]

You worry too much.
Enjoy your interaction with those kids.
Would you want children to be brought up paranoid so that they will avoid any contact with people?

 

[Introverted1293]

You worry too much.
Enjoy your interaction with those kids.
Would you want children to be brought up paranoid so that they will avoid any contact with people?

No, I guess not.

 

[Sabertooth]

And keep all of your interactions with them public. (It will help you to develop a good reputation.)

 

[Introverted1293]

And keep all of your interactions with them public. (It will help you to develop a good reputation.)

Thank you very much. Good advice

 

[brinny]

Hi Jesse, as was already mentioned, keep interactions public, and also very brief. (By the way, it's ok to ask kids questions, fun ones, and to keep it brief....it's kinda fun to see their reactions and answers)

Be blessed Jesse, and keep praying about this.

Praying for you.

 

[Introverted1293]

Hi Jesse, as was already mentioned, keep interactions public, and also very brief. (By the way, it's ok to ask kids questions, fun ones, and to keep it brief....it's kinda fun to see their reactions and answers)

Be blessed Jesse, and keep praying about this.

Praying for you.

Thank you very much @brinny. This was very helpful advice. And thank you very much for your prayers.

 

[Hieronymus]

Hi Jesse, as was already mentioned, keep interactions public, and also very brief. (By the way, it's ok to ask kids questions, fun ones, and to keep it brief....it's kinda fun to see their reactions and answers)

Be blessed Jesse, and keep praying about this.

Praying for you.

Hmm.. Sounds (to me) like the adults are made paranoid to interact with children, not the other way around..

 

[brinny]

Hmm.. Sounds (to me) like the adults are made paranoid to interact with children, not the other way around..

Awwwww you may be right, but let's bring God into it and ask His guidance and inexplicable grace in it all, amen?

 

[Hieronymus]

Agreed.
And maybe i'm naive, or it's not like that in NL EU.

 

[eleos1954]

How do you deal with overly friendly children? I have no desire to hurt them or even offend them, but sometimes there is that one kid or even several kids that are super friendly. You have sites that talk about how to protect your children, which is a good site. There are predators out there, but I am not one of them, however they don't know that, and I have to protect myself from any kind of accusations.

I am usually a loner due to social anxiety, not because I hate people. I go to school and then I come home and do my homework. My neighbors have quite of few kids, and I don't think they have been taught not to talk to strangers. When you talk to me, I am very nice and friendly. But I am very anxious.

Some of the kids are so overly friendly. If they see me carrying a bag of groceries, they always want to help. And I am very disabled. I get vertigo, and just carrying one bag of groceries can be very difficult because I need to use both hands to hold on to something when I walk up the stairs. I sometimes get one of those kids, and it usually is a boy, who wants to carry my groceries up the stairs for me. I try to decline, but stuff falls out of my grocery bags (not all the time, but every once in a while) and then he helps me anyways. This causes a lot of anxiety. I don't know his parents. I don't know if his parents are gonna come at me with a baseball bat.

But this is not the only thing. When I wait for the bus, I get this 5 year old boy (not all the time, but every once in a while) who will strike up a conversation with me. I think he is very lonely, and it makes me sad if he doesn't have friends. But I don't think he should be striking up a conversation with a 38 year old man who is basically a stranger, not just for his protection but for mine as well. I just don't have the balls to tell him not to talk to me, for I feel very sorry for him. Part of me wants to talk to his mom and just tell her what is going on. I know his mom. The last thing I need is some parent coming at me with a baseball bat because they see their kid talking to me. I will not be able to run without falling and stumbling for I have vertigo.

What would be the right thing to do in these situations?

I have asked these questions before, but people haven't been helpful.

Let the parents be the parent. Gods blessings often comes in small packages. I find it pretty precious this young child wants to help you. Thank him for his help, he is being blessed by helping you .... and you are being blessed by his help. It is a win/win ;o)

God Bless ... and count your blessings, no matter how small ;o)

 

[mama2one]

a 5 yr old at a bus stop without their parents?
that is dangerous and a parent shouldn't let a 5 yr old out by themselves at a bus stop

a kid helping carry groceries (outside) seems fine but I wouldn't let them follow you inside

we've taught child not to talk to strangers but will allow talk with neighbors
one of our men neighbors did seem TOO friendly with our child when younger (it was weird) and I put a stop to it

 

[brinny]

Jesse, as i think about it, regarding the groceries, maybe you could direct the little helpful ones to carry a few items upstairs, and leave the items outside your door, and come right back down, and have something for them, like a cookie, or just something to show your appreciation. Then thank them and go upstairs.

Children love to help. Think of ways they could help that you are comfortable with, and where you control the interaction.

Pray about this, Jesse. I'll be praying too.

 

[Thess]

How do you deal with overly friendly children? I have no desire to hurt them or even offend them, but sometimes there is that one kid or even several kids that are super friendly. You have sites that talk about how to protect your children, which is a good site. There are predators out there, but I am not one of them, however they don't know that, and I have to protect myself from any kind of accusations.

I am usually a loner due to social anxiety, not because I hate people. I go to school and then I come home and do my homework. My neighbors have quite of few kids, and I don't think they have been taught not to talk to strangers. When you talk to me, I am very nice and friendly. But I am very anxious.

Some of the kids are so overly friendly. If they see me carrying a bag of groceries, they always want to help. And I am very disabled. I get vertigo, and just carrying one bag of groceries can be very difficult because I need to use both hands to hold on to something when I walk up the stairs. I sometimes get one of those kids, and it usually is a boy, who wants to carry my groceries up the stairs for me. I try to decline, but stuff falls out of my grocery bags (not all the time, but every once in a while) and then he helps me anyways. This causes a lot of anxiety. I don't know his parents. I don't know if his parents are gonna come at me with a baseball bat.

But this is not the only thing. When I wait for the bus, I get this 5 year old boy (not all the time, but every once in a while) who will strike up a conversation with me. I think he is very lonely, and it makes me sad if he doesn't have friends. But I don't think he should be striking up a conversation with a 38 year old man who is basically a stranger, not just for his protection but for mine as well. I just don't have the balls to tell him not to talk to me, for I feel very sorry for him. Part of me wants to talk to his mom and just tell her what is going on. I know his mom. The last thing I need is some parent coming at me with a baseball bat because they see their kid talking to me. I will not be able to run without falling and stumbling for I have vertigo.

What would be the right thing to do in these situations?

I have asked these questions before, but people haven't been helpful.

Be a model to them. If you are thirty eight years old, show them what a thirty eight year old man thinks by the way he lives and carries himself. If you can view yourself as a teacher, this will begin to remove your anxieties. For the kids that are overly friendly….no problem. These are the ones that respect you. And if you have anyone that respects you, this means that they will listen to you. And those that respect you and are willing to listen to you, man, you are influential!

As of today, you’re going to start feeling less and less anxiety. You’re in charge, now, of teaching these children who it is that they need to become (which is to be calm and relaxed like yourself). You have this great pleasure of being able to live a life of maturity, a life where you can teach others that they can be overcomers proven by the fact that YOU have overcome. And if you feel that you haven’t overcome enough, quite yet, I understand. We can start pushing a little harder today. And you [will] get there; just be patient.

But the point is that by changing your perspective, which is worrying about being viewed as a predator (I totally get it brother, I really do), you absolutely MUST view yourself as a teacher or leader, of sorts. Offer yourself to these children and even their parents, what it means to be a “living sacrifice”. In order to offer yourself to these people as a teacher and leader, you much change your way of thinking. Paul shows us in his writings who we are to be. In fact, Paul asks us to model ourselves after himself about 18 times. He really, really had his life together and was as righteous and holy as any human ever lived.

You can do this. Take charge of your situation and eliminate your fear. When you remove your fears, the natural replacement of fear is confidence. It takes work to remove fear, but if you practice these new beliefs that I’ve given you, there is zero doubt that you will not benefit and change for the better.

I believe in you!

 

[Thess]

Hmm.. Sounds (to me) like the adults are made paranoid to interact with children, not the other way around..

THAT is exactly right my friend. It's a terrible game that satan is playing on us. Satan wants you to be afraid because when you're afraid, that's when you are at your most vulnerable and susceptible to more and more sin. So now, I'm telling you to get up "the balls" to tell satan and his lame minions to take a hike. And scream at the top of your lungs if you need to! I've done it at least 178,945 times! Stop playing the game and step into the real world. It's must safer and peaceful over here....and this is the place where we, AS A GROUP, make each other feel good about each other. It is our job to make sure than no one, no one EVER feels like Hieronymus. This is an indictment against us, my friend, so I take responsivity; as much as God will pile onto me, for your suffering. And now it is time for your suffering to end and to begin thinkin in a new way. You can do it for certain!

 

[Introverted1293]

Let the parents be the parent. Gods blessings often comes in small packages. I find it pretty precious this young child wants to help you. Thank him for his help, he is being blessed by helping you .... and you are being blessed by his help. It is a win/win ;o)

God Bless ... and count your blessings, no matter how small ;o)

Thank you very much.

 

[Introverted1293]

a 5 yr old at a bus stop without their parents?
that is dangerous and a parent shouldn't let a 5 yr old out by themselves at a bus stop

a kid helping carry groceries (outside) seems fine but I wouldn't let them follow you inside

we've taught child not to talk to strangers but will allow talk with neighbors
one of our men neighbors did seem TOO friendly with our child when younger (it was weird) and I put a stop to it

Thank you

That is helpful. You're probably right about the kid being at the bus station.

 

[Hieronymus]

You're a likeable guy, Jesse.
Or at least, form where i'm sitting.
Those children probably agree too.
You're always friendly, humble and honest.

 

[Introverted1293]

Jesse, as i think about it, regarding the groceries, maybe you could direct the little helpful ones to carry a few items upstairs, and leave the items outside your door, and come right back down, and have something for them, like a cookie, or just something to show your appreciation. Then thank them and go upstairs.

Children love to help. Think of ways they could help that you are comfortable with, and where you control the interaction.

Pray about this, Jesse. I'll be praying too.

That is actually a good idea. I can definitely do that. Thank you very much

 

[Introverted1293]

You're a likeable guy, Jesse.
Or at least, form where i'm sitting.
Those children probably agree too.
You're always friendly, humble and honest.

Thank you very much and God bless you.