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The following is an excerpt from Russell Willingham’s Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus.
Appendix B
The Twelve Essentials
1. We must embrace Jesus Christ and the document that reveals his nature and directives—the Bible. Without this initial, basic step no genuine recovery is possible.
2. We must establish at least one to three supportive relationships for the purpose of accountability. Without this we will be deluded regarding our motives and unable to control our behavior.
3. We must courageously and honestly explore the dynamics of our original family. Otherwise, formative trauma will be hidden to us, and false self-concepts will remain intact.
4. We must understand how we responded to formative trauma and how that response is perpetuated today. Otherwise, we will remain stuck in self defeating attitudes and behaviors, all the while blaming them on someone else.
5. We must explore the origins and content of our preconceptions of God. Faulty thinking and responses must be corrected if we hope to develop trust and experience reparenting.
6. We must uncover the false beliefs we have about ourselves and deliberately confront them, consistently, with the liberating truths of Scripture. Failure to do this results in psychological defeat and collusion with Satan.
7. We must grasp our fundamental brokenness and stop pretending we are something else.
8. We must understand and embrace the grace of God. Otherwise, we will never feel safe in our relationship with him, and we will not have the freedom to fail.
9. We must come to terms with our personal malevolence and stop assuming our own purity and infallibility.
10. We must differentiate between genuine emotional deprivation and the long-standing pattern of sin that obscures it, knowing where one ends and the other begins.
11. We must understand our sexual ritual and the underlying need it symbolizes, learning to meet God and others in this very place.
12. We must pursue the lifelong work of accountability and honesty in all our relationships and seek to model these values for others. This is evangelism in its truest form.
Appendix B
The Twelve Essentials
1. We must embrace Jesus Christ and the document that reveals his nature and directives—the Bible. Without this initial, basic step no genuine recovery is possible.
2. We must establish at least one to three supportive relationships for the purpose of accountability. Without this we will be deluded regarding our motives and unable to control our behavior.
3. We must courageously and honestly explore the dynamics of our original family. Otherwise, formative trauma will be hidden to us, and false self-concepts will remain intact.
4. We must understand how we responded to formative trauma and how that response is perpetuated today. Otherwise, we will remain stuck in self defeating attitudes and behaviors, all the while blaming them on someone else.
5. We must explore the origins and content of our preconceptions of God. Faulty thinking and responses must be corrected if we hope to develop trust and experience reparenting.
6. We must uncover the false beliefs we have about ourselves and deliberately confront them, consistently, with the liberating truths of Scripture. Failure to do this results in psychological defeat and collusion with Satan.
7. We must grasp our fundamental brokenness and stop pretending we are something else.
8. We must understand and embrace the grace of God. Otherwise, we will never feel safe in our relationship with him, and we will not have the freedom to fail.
9. We must come to terms with our personal malevolence and stop assuming our own purity and infallibility.
10. We must differentiate between genuine emotional deprivation and the long-standing pattern of sin that obscures it, knowing where one ends and the other begins.
11. We must understand our sexual ritual and the underlying need it symbolizes, learning to meet God and others in this very place.
12. We must pursue the lifelong work of accountability and honesty in all our relationships and seek to model these values for others. This is evangelism in its truest form.
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