overcoming doubt. in dark place and need encouragement

[notalone32]

Hi I have a lot of obsessive fears that I'm not really saved and that. God is angry with me. Fear of end times. This stuff is deep rooted and has been going on a long time. I've been near suicide over this and in a state of breakdown mentally for many years. I want to know if I am going to ever be God`s child?

I try to live for Him but there is a lot in my way and I need the Holy Spirit to help me. I want the Holy Spirit back because I miss living as a Christian but the fear that overcomes me when I try and pray to God about this or read the Bible is like a choking panic. I don't know what to do

 

[Garinold]

Hi I have a lot of obsessive fears that I'm not really saved and that. God is angry with me. Fear of end times. This stuff is deep rooted and has been going on a long time. I've been near suicide over this and in a state of breakdown mentally for many years. I want to know if I am going to ever be God`s child?

I try to live for Him but there is a lot in my way and I need the Holy Spirit to help me. I want the Holy Spirit back because I miss living as a Christian but the fear that overcomes me when I try and pray to God about this or read the Bible is like a choking panic. I don't know what to do

I've dealt with doubts before as well. I haven't dealt specifically with the problems that you mention above, however I believe I can offer some food for thought.

1. I believe that you are under demonic attack. If you weren't a follow of Christ and didn't care about following the teachings of Christ, you wouldn't care if God was angry at you or to read to Bible. The enemy will do anything to come in between you and Him and take away your ability to Glorify God and Enjoy Him.

2. Get out a sheet of paper or a journal. Write down (a) all of the things in your life that you are grateful for, (b) all of the sin in your life that you believe is displeasing to God, (c) what you believe about God and Christ (in particular your thoughts about Christ's work on the cross), & (d) your thoughts on how much you desire to be with God and follow his will.

3. Enter into prayer and do these following things: (a) recognize who God is in prayer, exult Him and affirm your believe that Christ died on the cross for your sins, (b) confess your sins and repent of them - ask God to be forgiven, (c) give thanks to God for His spiritual provisions that he has provided to you as well as the material provisions of life he has given to you, (d) ask for guidance - ask God to guide your life (surrender your life to Christ if you haven't done so in the past), (e) empty your heart out to God - tell Him all of your fears and pain and ask Him to either take them away or give you the strength to endure - recognizing his sovereignty and will is best - (f) ask God to keep the enemy away from you, & (g) ask to be in the presence of God and ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

Think about John 14:21, that is one of my favorite promises to hold onto.

 

[1watchman]

The first thing for any seeker of God is to know Him, and that is through His beloved Son ---the Lord Jesus Christ. I recommend one read and pray about John 14 and see John 17 as a beginning of a relationship with God. Read all of the New Testament to know of salvation and blessings in the Church.

 

[Granny2Shoes]

I have been where you are. It is not an easy road to return to God once we have "tasted the good life". One thing I have found is that the first thing one needs to do is to steep yourself in the Word of God. Find the scripture that fits your need. Memorize it and continue saying it as often as the doubts appear. The one I clung to was the one that says that you must diligently seek Him and then He will be found (sorry I can't remember where it is in the Bible).

Back in the eighties I received the gift of intercessory prayer. However, because it was keeping me awake many nights praying in the spirit for people I did not even know, I told God that I couldn't continue using this gift. Being the gentleman He is, the Holy Spirit stopped giving me burdens to pray for. The despondency and unhappiness I felt in the following years almost overwhelmed me. I also thought of suicide, but I was too much of coward to go through with it, so I just wallowed in my misery. The reason I was so miserable was because when I no longer shared the burdens of God for a dying world and no one else except God can fill the void that's left. Unless we blaspheme the Holy Spirit (I'm not sure exactly what this is, but if you care about your salvation, then God still has you in the palm of His hand), all our sins can be forgiven. I started my journey back to God in 2009 and tried many different methods, but none of them seemed to work except starting in God's Word and praying. I couldn't even pray anything for a long time except, "God help me. I don't know how to say what I'm feeling". It is only recently that the Holy Spirit has starting sharing His burdens with me so I can pray about them.

The one thing I know is that once you truly give your heart to the Lord, NOTHING can come between you and God except you. Your free choice is the only thing that links or separates you from God. You may slip and slide on the road back, but if you just ask Him for the strength and courage to persevere in your journey back to Him, He will give it to you. Just remember that even Paul was concerned that after preaching the Word, there was the possibility of losing his salvation. Another thing that I have started is trying to put on the Full Armor of God each day to protect me from evil. I don't always succeed every day, but success is that you are able to get up every time you fall.

I will take note of your screen name and put you on my prayer list. If you have specific needs, please let me know or I will just pray for you to overcome your doubts and for God to lift you out of dark places and encourage you to stay steadfast in Him.

Yours in Christ,
Thelma

 

[Granny2Shoes]

I found the scripture I could not remember. It is Proverbs 8:17. I will continue praying for you until you see victory. Keep on trekkin'. God loves you.

Yours in Christ,
Thelma

 

[Granny2Shoes]

Hi I have a lot of obsessive fears that I'm not really saved and that. God is angry with me. Fear of end times. This stuff is deep rooted and has been going on a long time. I've been near suicide over this and in a state of breakdown mentally for many years. I want to know if I am going to ever be God`s child?

I try to live for Him but there is a lot in my way and I need the Holy Spirit to help me. I want the Holy Spirit back because I miss living as a Christian but the fear that overcomes me when I try and pray to God about this or read the Bible is like a choking panic. I don't know what to do

Just thought I'd stop by your thread to let you know I have been praying for you and hope you are feeling stronger. Just remember that God loves you and you can always turn to Him. Even when you can only say Help, He guides your footsteps. When I feel low, I personalize Proverb 3:5,6.

I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I will acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight.

If you pray God's Word, it will not return to Him without achieving the purpose for which it was intended.

Love in Christ,
Granny2Shoes

 

[notalone32]

I don't know why I have this attack on my mind. I was striving hard to live for God and it just snuck up on me. Leaving me too afraid to read the word or pray.

 

[notalone32]

i was abused by a Christian parent ....thats why im afraid to know God.....why i rjected Him. wasnt the Good Life...i had t6o do stuff to survive....horrible stuff...i hated it

 

[Ubuntu]

Hi there!

You certainly have gone through a lot of difficult things in your life, so I understand that approaching God is difficult. Although earthly parents do bad stuff to us, we have a heavenly Father who is nothing like erring, earthly parents.

I suppose that you understand this intellectually, but our feelings are a lot more difficult to handle. It is understandable that it is difficult to think about God as a friend if a parent who was a professing Christian abused you. It sounds as if you've applied some of the negative feelings you have about that parent to God.

In order to love God you have to discover that he loves you. His love is revealed to us in the fact that Jesus died for us, that he took our sins on himself. Since his love for you is so great that he would die for you, you can approach him without fear:

“The LORD is near the brokenhearted;
he delivers those who are discouraged.” Psalms 34:18

“For I know what I have planned for you,' says the LORD. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears punishment has not been perfected in love. We love because he loved us first.“
1 John 4:18

Good luck, and may God bless you!

 

[Emmy]

Dear notalone32. Jesus gives us good advice in Matthew 22: 35-40: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself." Jesus also tells us in verse 40: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God is Love and God wants loving sons and daughters.
In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told: " ask and you shall receive," we ask God for Love and Joy, then thank God and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour."
( all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends) We keep asking for Love and Joy, then thank God and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour.
God sees our loving efforts, and God will approve and bless us, we might stumble and forget at times, but then we ask God to forgive us and carry on
loving and caring.
The Bible tells us " Repent and be Born Again," we stop being selfish and unloving, and change to loving and caring. A Christian`s weapon is Love,
and with love we can overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour. Love is very catching, and Love covers a multitude of sins. The Holy Spirit will help and guide us, and Jesus our Saviour will lead us all the way: JESUS IS THE WAY.
Let us just ask and receive Love and Joy, then thank God and share all love and joy with our neighbour. Love for God and love and joy and kindness for our neighbour, will change you into the daughter our Heavenly Father wants.
I say this with love, notalone. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.