Outrage at priest who used the funeral service of HS student to say he may not see Heaven

[Michie]

A family who's son died from suicide expressed outrage after a priest suggested he might not get into heaven and 'called him a sinner' at his funeral, according to the boy's family.

Continued below.
Outrage at priest who said suicide victim may not get into heaven | Daily Mail Online

 

[AvilaSurfer]

First it’s the Daily Mail, so nobody knows how accurate this might be. And since there are no direct quotes from the priest, all we have is hearsay as to the content of the funeral homily. Finally, even if he said everything they accuse him of saying, he’s right. Maybe a little insensitive, but right.

 

[Michie]

Michigan couple: Priest, 'bully' coach ruined our son's funeral

 

[Michie]

What does the Catholic Church teach about suicide?

 

[Davidnic]

Setting aside some of the other stuff if the priest agreed to allow them to do eulogies as part of the mass, he was wrong. The Church will allow eulogies at the funeral home but not as part of the mass.

From multiple articles that I've read it seems that the pastor is pastorally inept. But without reading the homily I can't say whether he explained things wrong or not. He may have indeed mentioned the cases where suicide would not be a bar to heaven and no one is mentioning it. Or he could have incorrectly expressed the theology.

 

[Rhamiel]

If you kill yourself you might not go to heaven

 

[Chrystal-J]

I was always told that the suicidal person may have repented at the last moment, thus are saved and may go to purgatory or heaven.

 

[Davidnic]

Basically we hold out Hope for the Divine Mercy at the moment of death. We also know that the mental encumbrances that could lead to such a decision might mean that the conditions for a mortal sin were not present. But we hope...we do not know.

 

[AvilaSurfer]

Basically we hold out Hope for the Divine Mercy at the moment of death. We also know that the mental encumbrances that could lead to such a decision might mean that the conditions for a mortal sin were not present. But we hope...we do not know.

Which, again, through hearsay, is what the priest said.

 

[Michie]

The bishop of the diocese spoke out about it and basically said that the priest would be put through some education concerning these situations as well as having all the priest's homilies looked at and approved by a priest mentor. No sermons at funerals at all. There were many witnesses to this funeral. I tend to think it is more than just hearsay.

 

[AvilaSurfer]

I keep going back to the article. I’m sorry but I’ve had too many people twist what I just heard, and tell me a completely different story. As far as I’m concerned it’s all hearsay.

 

[Radagast]

The Church will allow eulogies at the funeral home but not as part of the mass.

Trying to finish the mass before the eulogies is one of the charges against the priest. That, and not allowing the parents to write the homily, and not stopping the homily when the parents told him to do so during the service. It almost seems like the parents wanted the priest to run some kind of secular service.

From multiple articles that I've read it seems that the pastor is pastorally inept.

That may well be true (had I been the priest, I would have simply told the parents that I would be unable to conduct a mass under the restrictions they wanted to impose).

But at the funeral of a suicide, it's not inappropriate to discuss the relevant theology (which will vary from one denomination to another). The priest should offer whatever comfort can legitimately be offered, theologically speaking.

From a Catholic standpoint, I presume that encouraging the congregation to pray for the soul of the deceased would be a key aspect, and to do that the priest needs to be clear on what people are to pray for.

The parents said that they "wanted him to celebrate how Maison lived." In any Christian funeral, this is not the focus of the service. The traditional liturgy of the requiem mass certainly contains no such thing.

Domine Iesu Christe, Rex gloriæ,
libera animas omnium fidelium defunctorum
de pœnis inferni et de profundo lacu:
libera eas de ore leonis,
ne absorbeat eas tartarus,
ne cadant in obscurum ...
Hostias et preces tibi, Domine, laudis offerimus:
tu suscipe pro animabus illis,
quarum hodie memoriam facimus:
fac eas, Domine, de morte transire ad vitam.
Quam olim Abrahæ promisisti, et semini eius.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

If you kill yourself you might not go to heaven

But does a Priest say that in front of a grieving family at a funeral service? I mean how insensitive and unfit this priest must be.

 

[Radagast]

But does a Priest say that in front of a grieving family at a funeral service? I mean how insensitive and unfit this priest must be.

We don't know what exactly the priest said.

I get the feeling that he may have worded himself poorly, though.

 

[Davidnic]

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[Michie]

About that funeral Mass homily, some points

 

[Tutorman]

I am not sure how to feel. I had a relative commit suicide and I have always wondered about self murder and getting into heaven. While this I think may not have been the right time to bring this topic up at the funeral it would be good at some point to discuss it.

 

[Michie]

But not at the funeral. Loved ones are already raw. Obviously, the family at least, were members of the parish. He could of saved mental health, suicide and what the Church actually teaches in a homily at a later date. Just horribly insensitive at the time imo. Anyone that has suffered the suicide of a loved one are already torturing themselves in their own minds. Nobody, especially a shepherd at your son's funeral needs to pile on when you are getting ready to bury your loved one.

I am not sure how to feel. I had a relative commit suicide and I have always wondered about self murder and getting into heaven. While this I think may not have been the right time to bring this topic up at the funeral it would be good at some point to discuss it.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Does anyone see the slippery slope here? It could be the guy that died from AIDS or the divorced wife, the prostitute etc etc.

The Priest should do the service, pray for the soul of the deceased and grieve with the family.

Judgement will be up to God.

No one knows the depths of despair this kid went through and he probably suffered from depression. It seems quite a few also don't understand the mercy of God.

 

[Celticroots]

Does anyone see the slippery slope here? It could be the guy that died from AIDS or the divorced wife, the prostitute etc etc.

The Priest should do the service, pray for the soul of the deceased and grieve with the family.

Judgement will be up to God.

No one knows the depths of despair this kid went through and he probably suffered from depression. It seems quite a few also don't understand the mercy of God.

Agreed. What the priest said was completely inappropriate given the circumstances. Those poor parents are already torturing them selves enough.

Second, the young man most likely suffered from depression or another mental illness, as the vast majority of suicides are committed because the individual has a mental illness. And not all mental illnesses are easily treatable.

God knew this young man’s heart and saw his pain.

RIP young man. And my condolences to the family.