Oral sex in the marragie

[Jonteel]

That means that it is undefiled.

 

[QuidTempusEst]

I absolutely agree with Joyce Meyer! There is something really demeaning about oral sex. It's behavior that reinforces the inferiority of women and their position to 'serve' men. In a world where women are consistently treated as inferior beings, God would not condone behavior that further hurts women. I've unfortunately seen some inappropriate contentography sites on the web through popups and wrong links and noticed that there is a lot of emphasis on oral sex from women to men. That ought to say everything about the wrongness of oral sex. There's even a huge problem nowadays with young girls being taught that they 'ought' to perform oral sex - which is a modern way young women are being indoctrinated into becoming 'women' with clear expectation about the 'role' of women. I agree with Joyce.

 

[InTheFlame]

I absolutely agree with Joyce Meyer! There is something really demeaning about oral sex. It's behavior that reinforces the inferiority of women and their position to 'serve' men. In a world where women are consistently treated as inferior beings, God would not condone behavior that further hurts women. I've unfortunately seen some inappropriate contentography sites on the web through popups and wrong links and noticed that there is a lot of emphasis on oral sex from women to men. That ought to say everything about the wrongness of oral sex. There's even a huge problem nowadays with young girls being taught that they 'ought' to perform oral sex - which is a modern way young women are being indoctrinated into becoming 'women' with clear expectation about the 'role' of women. I agree with Joyce.

So what's your opinion on a couple where BOTH perform oral sex - on each other, obviously!

 

[EmSchmem]

I absolutely agree with Joyce Meyer! There is something really demeaning about oral sex. It's behavior that reinforces the inferiority of women and their position to 'serve' men. In a world where women are consistently treated as inferior beings, God would not condone behavior that further hurts women. I've unfortunately seen some inappropriate contentography sites on the web through popups and wrong links and noticed that there is a lot of emphasis on oral sex from women to men. That ought to say everything about the wrongness of oral sex. There's even a huge problem nowadays with young girls being taught that they 'ought' to perform oral sex - which is a modern way young women are being indoctrinated into becoming 'women' with clear expectation about the 'role' of women. I agree with Joyce.

So is it then OK for men to perform oral sex on women...

 

[Katydid]

I absolutely agree with Joyce Meyer! There is something really demeaning about oral sex. It's behavior that reinforces the inferiority of women and their position to 'serve' men. In a world where women are consistently treated as inferior beings, God would not condone behavior that further hurts women. I've unfortunately seen some inappropriate contentography sites on the web through popups and wrong links and noticed that there is a lot of emphasis on oral sex from women to men. That ought to say everything about the wrongness of oral sex. There's even a huge problem nowadays with young girls being taught that they 'ought' to perform oral sex - which is a modern way young women are being indoctrinated into becoming 'women' with clear expectation about the 'role' of women. I agree with Joyce.

The poor little picked on women defense? I am a woman and I don't buy that one. I wonder how many women complain when their husband's satisfy them in this way.

 

[EmSchmem]

Ok,

Not sure I can add anything substantial to the theological side of this debate. I for one don't see that there is a theological issue with any of the sexual options that have been suggested. I can see that some think them not something they would want to do. That's fine too.

I just wanted to bring into it another factor that you may not have considered. For some couples there are medical reasons why 'normal' sex is not possible. Not sure about the male things, but for some females penetration is simply not possible. This really means that in order to satisfy one anothers needs it is imporstant to be a bit versatile and creative. Is this sinful. I don't think so at all. Sex is something given by God - he said to cleave to one another (really bad quote obviously). It is like glue really. So for some people this may have to be done another way. Oral sex is a fairly obvious option here.

Erin

Um OK. I know there are a lot of women for whom penetration doesn't lead to an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] but I have never ever heard of a woman for whom penetration isn't even possible.

 

[Katydid]

There is a medical condition for women where penetration is physically impossible, I can't remember the name right now, but it causes a massive amount of pain for the woman.

 

[QuidTempusEst]

So is it then OK for men to perform oral sex on women...

It is different. A man isn't a second class citizen throughout most of the world, so this is not likely to reinforce a negative self-image. But this may not be true for all men - so I don't know.

Look at it this way. I hope Joyce Meyer would not be offended by this straightforward talk, but personally, I couldn't take seriously a woman who preached and performed oral sex on her husband. There is something that doesn't seem right about it. How can you speak the word of God through that same mouth? Now that I think of it, the same probably applies to men preachers. It just isn't right.

From a biological standpoint, if God had meant us to have oral sex, He would not have put the excretory organs right next to the sex organs.

 

[QuidTempusEst]

The poor little picked on women defense? I am a woman and I don't buy that one. I wonder how many women complain when their husband's satisfy them in this way.

Well that defense doesn't apply to all women I think. There are women, and maybe you're one of them, who have had the benefit of being taught to value themselves. But a lot of women don't. I'm speaking of them. I wouldn't tell you what to do in your marriage. I am speaking of my own opinion.

 

[Katydid]

Well that defense doesn't apply to all women I think. There are women, and maybe you're one of them, who have had the benefit of being taught to value themselves. But a lot of women don't. I'm speaking of them. I wouldn't tell you what to do in your marriage. I am speaking of my own opinion.

If it is a problem for you, then it is your husband's responsibility to respect that, but you cannot make a rule just because you personally feel something. It is not an issue for me, so I feel that it is wrong to state a rule for feelings that don't apply everywhere.

Look at it this way. I hope Joyce Meyer would not be offended by this straightforward talk, but personally, I couldn't take seriously a woman who preached and performed oral sex on her husband. There is something that doesn't seem right about it. How can you speak the word of God through that same mouth? Now that I think of it, the same probably applies to men preachers. It just isn't right.

I certainly hope a preacher would not discuss his personal sex life on the pulpit. You shouldn't know if he did that or not. I am sure if you found out, his wife might be upset about that. The point is, what happens in the marriage bed needs to stay in the marriage bed and not be made public.

 

[QuidTempusEst]

If it is a problem for you, then it is your husband's responsibility to respect that, but you cannot make a rule just because you personally feel something. It is not an issue for me, so I feel that it is wrong to state a rule for feelings that don't apply everywhere.

But I didn't really make a rule any more than you did by saying that you think oral sex is fine. I think it isn't and I think that it does have detrimental effects on women in subtle and insidious ways, and in a way that takes away from what God intends for women - but I would never tell someone what to do. Stating one's belief shouldn't mean that. Everyone has their own conscience before God and if God respects our own free will, then we are left to choose for ourselves.

 

[Katydid]

Stating one's belief shouldn't mean that. Everyone has their own conscience before God and if God respects our own free will, then we are left to choose for ourselves.

I took you saying that you agree with Joyce Meyers meaning that you believe it is actually a sin. That is what the OP stated that she believed. If you don't believe it is a sin than I am sorry that I assumed that is what you meant. If you do believe that it is a sin, then you are setting a rule, a restriction whereas my saying it is OK doesn't mean that I am saying it is necessary. I just don't believe it is a sin if both parties are OK with it.

 

[InTheFlame]

It is different. A man isn't a second class citizen throughout most of the world, so this is not likely to reinforce a negative self-image. But this may not be true for all men - so I don't know.

The mere thought saddens me... that an act of love is so identified as demeaning, even in (presumably) a marriage filled with love. But then, I think that a woman with a negative self-image shouldn't be getting married until she gets that self-image sorted out with the God that created her.

Look at it this way. I hope Joyce Meyer would not be offended by this straightforward talk, but personally, I couldn't take seriously a woman who preached and performed oral sex on her husband. There is something that doesn't seem right about it. How can you speak the word of God through that same mouth? Now that I think of it, the same probably applies to men preachers. It just isn't right.

"Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."
Matthew 15:10b-11

(it's not what goes into the mouth of a person that's a problem, it's what that mouth SPEAKS that's either good or bad)

From a biological standpoint, if God had meant us to have oral sex, He would not have put the excretory organs right next to the sex organs.

And if God wanted us to fly, he'd have given us wings. And if he'd wanted us to travel more than 10km/hr, he'd have given us wheels... etc.

I have no problem with personal opinions and preferences - I have many I can't back up scripturally or logically. I simply admit that they're a personal thing and I have no decent backing for them... I don't try and justify them.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

For the person who wanted to know about the health problem that makes intercourse impossible - vaginismus.

Personally, I can't see how something, when does in love, can be seen as 'demeaning'. If the woman enjoys it (and research shows that more women encounter [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] through oral intercourse, than by penile intercourse (by that I mean penis into vagina)), and the man enjoys doing it to her, and does it out of love for her, then I'd say, by all means go ahead!

Same for the guy - if the man enjoys oral, and the woman enjoys giving it to the man, and does it out of a spirit of LOVE, then by all means - go ahead!

And I don't think of my minister in a sexual sense. I'm sure he's had sex with his wife (they have 5 boys!), and I'm sure they enjoy it (based on some subtle comments on how much they both adore each other), but I personally don't want to know the graphic details of their sex life - and even if they did share something from their sex life (ie adjustments after marriage, that kind of thing - in a counselling sense), it just wouldn't affect my ability to be taught from them. I think it would be wonderful that they DO have a wonderful, enjoyed, fully-consensual sexual life with one another!

I honestly can't see oral sex as demeaning to a partner, or a sign of 'subservience'. I see it as an act of love.

Sasch

 

[EmSchmem]

It is different. A man isn't a second class citizen throughout most of the world, so this is not likely to reinforce a negative self-image. But this may not be true for all men - so I don't know.

Look at it this way. I hope Joyce Meyer would not be offended by this straightforward talk, but personally, I couldn't take seriously a woman who preached and performed oral sex on her husband. There is something that doesn't seem right about it. How can you speak the word of God through that same mouth? Now that I think of it, the same probably applies to men preachers. It just isn't right.

From a biological standpoint, if God had meant us to have oral sex, He would not have put the excretory organs right next to the sex organs.

Oh boo hoo women are treated bad. Weep weep wep cry cry cry... I am not a second class citizen in my marriage. I am not lesser because I chose to please my husband orally and when I spread the gosepl to other it is NOT defiled thank you very much. ANd I am crtainly not lesser when he decides to please me orally. You don't have to take me seriously but you can bet there are PLENTY who would not bother to take you seriously with your added rules and your qualifications as to who can and can not preach. And how do you know what God intended when he created us? Were you there? Were you giving Him input on what a ridiculous idea it is. After all our CHILDREN pass through that very same place near where we "excrete" are they somehow defiled by that? We vomit from our mouths when sick should we stop kissing each other as well? Egads what WAS that God guy thinking!?!?! Horrors upon horrors!
You don't have to have oral sex, noone is saying it is prescribed but at least use not ridiculous arguments if you're going to defend your standoint.

 

[jazzbird]

Look at it this way. I hope Joyce Meyer would not be offended by this straightforward talk, but personally, I couldn't take seriously a woman who preached and performed oral sex on her husband. There is something that doesn't seem right about it. How can you speak the word of God through that same mouth? Now that I think of it, the same probably applies to men preachers. It just isn't right.

It is pretty sad that you seem to have such a lowly opinion of the male sexual organs. I mean, a woman's words are unclean if her lips have touched him there. Why??

You say it doesn't seem right. Why? I think we are so conditioned to divide sex up between what is appropriate and not. I think that inappropriate contentography has done quite a number on our minds. Seriously. Why on earth may I kiss my hubby anyhwere but "there." Why does it seem dirty to you unless there is some kind of connection between what a person chooses to do in their marriage bed and what immoral people do in seedy videos. God made sex, not the inappropriate content industry. God made it and he made it good. He didn't put stipulations on it. We are to enjoy. Have you ever read Song of Solomon??

 

[loved]

What a husband and wife do in their own bedroom is their own business, who are we to judge anyway?

 

[QuidTempusEst]

Oh boo hoo women are treated bad. Weep weep wep cry cry cry... I am not a second class citizen in my marriage. I am not lesser because I chose to please my husband orally and when I spread the gosepl to other it is NOT defiled thank you very much. ANd I am crtainly not lesser when he decides to please me orally. You don't have to take me seriously but you can bet there are PLENTY who would not bother to take you seriously with your added rules and your qualifications as to who can and can not preach. And how do you know what God intended when he created us? Were you there? Were you giving Him input on what a ridiculous idea it is. After all our CHILDREN pass through that very same place near where we "excrete" are they somehow defiled by that? We vomit from our mouths when sick should we stop kissing each other as well? Egads what WAS that God guy thinking!?!?! Horrors upon horrors!
You don't have to have oral sex, noone is saying it is prescribed but at least use not ridiculous arguments if you're going to defend your standoint.

You may have read a post above where I said not all women are second-class citizens. Your experience in this world is not normative - it is not *the* yardstick by which all other women's experiences are to be measured.

The idea that women are extensions of men, and that their most important, primary role is to please men is as old as this world. See Genesis 1&2, as well. And read Paul's words on women. Look around you - why are so many women concerned about appearance? Size? Why do girls become women by become more concerned about their looks? Who are women trying to please? Men, of course. Women spend an enormous amount of energy trying to please men - whether directly, or indirectly (as in being pleasant looking). I don't think this premise is at all even disputable.

That is why I believe that anything which further emphasizes the idea that women live on earth to please men is destructive and against God's Plan. I didn't say you are lesser for practicing oral sex, as you're stating. I said I don't believe it is good for most women to do this. If you are one of those women who has great self esteem, then good for you.

Furthermore, my argument isn't ridiculous at all. It's got a lot of common sense and basis in reality. If you don't like it, fine. Your business. That's my opinion and I stand by it.

 

[QuidTempusEst]

What a husband and wife do in their own bedroom is their own business, who are we to judge anyway?

If that is so, why does the Bible prohibit homosexual relations?

 

[searle29678]

What a husband and wife do in their own bedroom is their own business, who are we to judge anyway?

I believe she specified husband and wife.