[open] Do you have a lot of "couple" friends?

[Assisi]

No, but there are getting to be more of them as we get older.

Apart from one of my friends (as in, I was friends with her and she became part of a couple and then we became friends with both of them) my husband and I were the only couple we knew for a loooooong time. We and the couple I just mentioned are still the only married people among our friends, but there are more people who are engaged or heading toward engagement now.

I don't mind it. I think I find the transition (from acting as a group of singles with a married couple or two in it, to acting as a group of married couples) hard. Especially when people are in newly serious relationships. It seems like we have to suddenly act like 40 year olds...which is not what we are.

 

[Lee_Lee]

The really weird thing I find is that when you are in a couple other couples seem to find you more acceptable like ask you over for dinner or games nights etc....its like all of a sudden you are welcomed back into their social circle because they can stand to be around you now that you are two are the numbers are even.

I have always found this perplexing, I make a concious effort to invite single friends around and to events....

Just as a side note, is it only me or the other thing I have noticed is that once your in a couple all of a sudden couples want to hook everyone up....it is like perfect match time....weird.

-LeeLee.

 

[Assisi]

The really weird thing I find is that when you are in a couple other couples seem to find you more acceptable like ask you over for dinner or games nights etc....its like all of a sudden you are welcomed back into their social circle because they can stand to be around you now that you are two are the numbers are even.

I have always found this perplexing, I make a concious effort to invite single friends around and to events....

Just as a side note, is it only me or the other thing I have noticed is that once your in a couple all of a sudden couples want to hook everyone up....it is like perfect match time....weird.

-LeeLee.

you should be friends with me.

This is almost exactly what happens in my life - except kinda in reverse. Hubby and I met when we were 18, and we have a large circle of friends, so we've seen our fair share of new and short lived relationships among our friends. Suddenly these new couples seem not to be able to find the time to go to the beach, or the party, or coffee with everyone. But they suddenly court our company for dinner - just the four of us.

I don't get it.

 

[Redguard]

The really weird thing I find is that when you are in a couple other couples seem to find you more acceptable like ask you over for dinner or games nights etc....its like all of a sudden you are welcomed back into their social circle because they can stand to be around you now that you are two are the numbers are even.

I have always found this perplexing, I make a concious effort to invite single friends around and to events....

Just as a side note, is it only me or the other thing I have noticed is that once your in a couple all of a sudden couples want to hook everyone up....it is like perfect match time....weird.

-LeeLee.

Do you ever find it difficult finding other couples in Antarctica?

 

[DaffodillysDad]

Yup.
The funny thing is, though we're friends with the couples we still tend to break off and the guys might get together to go fishing or hiking while the gals go shopping.... It's not that we don't like doing things together, I think it's more that finding things all 4 of us like (other than eating) is hard.

Other than inviting them over for meals and cards and maybe going to concerts we don't really do that much with other couples.

 

[LadySaint]

We do have several couple friends. The sad part at my age some of our friends have lost their spouse either through death or divorce. I will still include my friends and try and make them feel comfortable in those situations. Life situations shouldn't stop us from being friends in those times.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

deleted

 

[Lee_Lee]

Before we were married - there was a clear indication that because we were still 'just dating', our opinions on relationships weren't valid, and that we were obviously 'less mature' than them because we hadn't married yet.

Its interesting isn't it.....it is amazing the amount of couples that I have run into that think just because they are married that they are then good communicators, good at relationships and 'have it all together'.....the funny thing is though you don't need to be a good communicator or even good at relationships to be married, alls you need to do is get a dress, a cake, turn up on the day and sign a piece of paper.

Infact many people that think they are great communicators or working well in a marriage because they rarely fight or sort it out are not doing that well, the only reason they appear to be being so is because they are living off each others insecurities and feeding each others disfunctions.

People need to be aware that you are not necessiarly good at a relationship because you are married and not neccessarily a bad communicator or poor in a relationship because you are dating or even single. Especially when intimate/lover relationships are not the only sort of relationships in the world....people have to deal and be good in relationships of various types- family, friends, work colleagues...all of these take communication and relationship skills.

Anyways I know I have got a bit sidetracked but I thought it was well worth the mention.

-LeeLee.

 

[Jilly123]

We're fortunate to have some lovely couples in our age group in our church. Often the girls will get together for a chit chat and the guys go play paintball etc. There are a number of couple where I get on with the wife and hubby gets on with the husband.

Although, at our old church (which was actually much bigger) we didn't have as many couple friends.

 

[Assisi]

Before we were married - there was a clear indication that because we were still 'just dating', our opinions on relationships weren't valid, and that we were obviously 'less mature' than them because we hadn't married yet.

You've touched on a sore point for me! We were dating/engaged for just over four years, but because we didn't live together, or share a bed, or see each other every day, a lot of our friends were considered more serious than we were. I hate it when people judge the 'seriousness' of your relationship by their own ideals.

I think in some ways we still aren't considered to be a couple passionately in love and serious about our marriage by many in our circle. We don't fight, we were sensible enough to know that an early marriage would be irresponsible in our situation, my husband can go away on business for a few weeks without me pining etc etc...therefore we obviously don't care enough These are things which can give insight into our personalities...and have nothing to do with the 'level' of a relationship.