One of those moments...

[blackribbon]

Our daughter is now 15. She is playing softball again finally...she stopped after her dad died.

As I sat on the bleacher watching her play, I was overwhelmed by how much she looks and moves like him on the ball field. I felt suddenly felt so sad. Sad that I was having to sit there alone and sad because I think she is getting so shorted by not having her dad there.

At 5 years, I just had another one of those "he really isn't coming home" moments. I'm glad they aren't very often anymore though.

Getting through our son's games aren't any easier....but he doesn't look so much like his dad. He is the one who is missing out of the most cause I can't do anything more than flatten my butt on the bleachers for him...

I feel so alone. I want to carry around a sign that says "Daddy would have been here if he just hadn't died."

 

[1watchman]

I can much appreciate your situation and loneliness, friend. It would help if you could find at least one other woman who is also left alone, and even with a child about the age of yours. It might even be at a ball game, for there must also be some other woman sitting there alone you could talk to??? Don't be shy about saying hello to such a person, and ask one if they have a son or daughter on the field. It might help both of you.

 

[blackribbon]

It has been over 5 years. I do talk to everyone else in the bleachers and do have widow & widower friends as well as divorced friends, most with kids. I have just finished nursing school and have friends there...though nursing school made it hard to find time to establish deep friendships. This is not that same kind of loneliness. But thank you for responding.

 

[1watchman]

I hope things are going better for you Ribbon (and all is not black). I surely know the adjustment is hard, so I recommend you also try to have some friends with you at times (maybe at ball games). Remember, the Lord Jesus cares and can be as the Bible says: "...a very present help in time of trouble". I try to stay in communion with Him all day (note 2 Cor. 10:5). Look up always!

 

[blackribbon]

Black is the color of the cancer ribbon for melanoma...that is what my husband died of.

Exactly how do you convince busy mothers to come sit at a kid's ballgame if their own kid isn't playing? It is all I can do to get there a lot of the time and these are my children.

My husband died over 5 years ago. My "grieving card" expired a long time ago in most people's minds. Unless you have lived through this, you can't understand that I will always miss him because that is what love is. Most people don't understand this. As long as my kids are living without him, I will always have these moment where I wish he was here to experience things with me. Kids need both parents...especially when they are young.

2 Cor 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ??? I am not sure how this verse applies to my grief or loneliness. ???

My eyes are looking toward Christ. Without God, I can't say that I would have survived this. My hope is in Rev 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” In the meantime, tears probably will still fall from time to time...and God made tears as well as laughter.

 

[1watchman]

Well, I was thinking more of the last part of verse 5 there in 2 Cor. 10, and every thought needs to be brought to Christ for comfort, care, help, strength, and hope, etc. Yes, the promise in Revelation is comforting.

Certainly you feel the loneliness and great loss, and certainly no one expects you to try to forget it; but, one needs to remember that God cares, and an intimate fellowship with the Savior, the Lord Jesus, will give one the peace and hope to go forward. One day those of us who are "children of God" by faith and trust in our Lord Jesus, will be there with Him forever in eternal blessing. That is the promise of God, and we need to embrace the Savior in love and feel His embrace more fully. I will be praying for you. Look up always!

 

[pdudgeon]

...My husband died over 5 years ago. My "grieving card" expired a long time ago in most people's minds. Unless you have lived through this, you can't understand that I will always miss him because that is what love is. Most people don't understand this. As long as my kids are living without him, I will always have these moment where I wish he was here to experience things with me. Kids need both parents...especially when they are young.

2 Cor 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ??? I am not sure how this verse applies to my grief or loneliness. ???

My eyes are looking toward Christ. Without God, I can't say that I would have survived this. My hope is in Rev 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” In the meantime, tears probably will still fall from time to time...and God made tears as well as laughter.

truer words were never typed. ^^^
It is also true that only those who have suffered the same loss will be able to understand.

The only thing that I've found to help get thru this time is to sew into the lives of those who haven't experienced such a loss a small part of what this experience is like. It's a time and experience that society has drawn an invisible shield around, as if to hide the extent and depth of what grief is really like in these circumstances. Those who love us will be better able to understand what such grief is, and those who only know us might be better prepared when their time comes.

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

Our daughter is now 15. She is playing softball again finally...she stopped after her dad died.

As I sat on the bleacher watching her play, I was overwhelmed by how much she looks and moves like him on the ball field. I felt suddenly felt so sad. Sad that I was having to sit there alone and sad because I think she is getting so shorted by not having her dad there.

At 5 years, I just had another one of those "he really isn't coming home" moments. I'm glad they aren't very often anymore though.

Getting through our son's games aren't any easier....but he doesn't look so much like his dad. He is the one who is missing out of the most cause I can't do anything more than flatten my butt on the bleachers for him...

I feel so alone. I want to carry around a sign that says "Daddy would have been here if he just hadn't died."

 

[NOTWHATIWAS]

My spouse left me with one daughter who is now an adult w/ asperger's autism. I am on disability w/bi-polar disorder. Sometimes, my daughter and I just watch cartoons together (and Jesus is right there w/ us) Do you need prayer today?