On The Relationship Between Confession and Holy Communion ... Mind Slightly Blown

[Bessie]

So I asked for some guidance on this issue because it is so easy for me to fall into my Roman Catholic programming around trying to discern whether or not I am able to receive communion based on my last confession, sins I've committed since then, etc. The answer I got from my priest was pretty amazing to me, and I'm still processing it, so please share your thoughts too.

He told me that 1. there is no direct relationship in general - you come to confession regularly, at least four times a year, or as often as things begin to weigh on you. The idea that we have to confess before every communion would imply that having received communion we immediately need to go to confession, which is obviously not the case. 2. Unless you have been specifically told otherwise, if you're confessing regularly, you receive communion at every liturgy. However, if you do abstain from communion, *that* needs to be confessed right away, before you receive again, because we are directly commanded to draw near and didn't.

Anyway, all I can say at this moment is, wow... but please guys, share your thoughts on this. Help me process.

 

[Hank77]

So I asked for some guidance on this issue because it is so easy for me to fall into my Roman Catholic programming around trying to discern whether or not I am able to receive communion based on my last confession, sins I've committed since then, etc. The answer I got from my priest was pretty amazing to me, and I'm still processing it, so please share your thoughts too.

He told me that 1. there is no direct relationship in general - you come to confession regularly, at least four times a year, or as often as things begin to weigh on you. The idea that we have to confess before every communion would imply that having received communion we immediately need to go to confession, which is obviously not the case. 2. Unless you have been specifically told otherwise, if you're confessing regularly, you receive communion at every liturgy. However, if you do abstain from communion, *that* needs to be confessed right away, before you receive again, because we are directly commanded to draw near and didn't.

Anyway, all I can say at this moment is, wow... but please guys, share your thoughts on this. Help me process.

I'd just like to say that if I were ever to take up a specific denomination again I would strongly consider Eastern Orthodox. I didn't know anything about when I came on this forum but the more I learn the more I like it and the people who represent it on this forum.
God Bless you.

 

[Bessie]

I'd just like to say that if I were ever to take up a specific denomination again I would strongly consider Eastern Orthodox. I didn't know anything about when I came on this forum but the more I learn the more I like it and the people who represent it on this forum.
God Bless you.

Wow I'm thrilled to have been a small part of that. God bless you.

 

[~Anastasia~]

It seems like it's pretty nuanced. And I think surely we must allow for the reasoning in the Orthodox jurisdictions that require weekly Confession, though I can't speak for them.

Father did say to me that it can be a sin needing Confession if we attend Liturgy and don't receive the Eucharist, because Christ is right there, and we refuse Him.

He has directed that we should abstain if ...
We fail to prepare (absolutely fail - such as purposely disregarding - even preparation can be observed too strictly and legalistically if we are not careful)
Which includes whether we were in attendance at the Liturgy by at least the time the Gospel was read. (He will allow us to receive if we have a flat tire on the way the Church - but has directed that we should not if we just hit the snooze button 5 times.)
We are in serious sin that requires Confession - and depending what it is, we MIGHT be directed to receive the Eucharist anyway and confess after, if that is the only way it can be done, and the sin is not too severe.

I asked his blessing once when I was late and missed the Gospel. It was terrible weather, and I'm almost an hour away on a good day, so he gave his blessing for me to receive.

I did abstain another time, because I felt my spiritual state was not what it should be. In retrospect, I should have received, because I had repented, but I wanted Confession first.

But the general practice of many is to be in Church and receive the Eucharist, both as often as possible. How often anyone else confesses, I don't know. But weekly isn't at all typical for us. He generally urges most to come 4x a year at least. (Greek parish)

I'm wondering what's typical for Antiochian. My SF is Antiochian. He has given me the same directions as far as receiving the Eucharist, but has directed me to go to confession much more frequently (8-12x a year), but I think that's because I asked him for help with specific kinds of prayers, nothing to do with the Eucharist and parishioners in general.

 

[ArmyMatt]

glad you got a good answer. the best thing when it comes to this is to follow your priest

 

[Bessie]

It seems like it's pretty nuanced. And I think surely we must allow for the reasoning in the Orthodox jurisdictions that require weekly Confession, though I can't speak for them.

Father did say to me that it can be a sin needing Confession if we attend Liturgy and don't receive the Eucharist, because Christ is right there, and we refuse Him.

He has directed that we should abstain if ...
We fail to prepare (absolutely fail - such as purposely disregarding - even that can be observed too strictly and legalistically if we are not careful)
Which includes whether we were in attendance at the Liturgy by at least the time the Gospel was read. (He will allow us to receive if we have a flat tire on the way the Church - but has directed that we should not if we just hit the snooze button 5 times.)
We are in serious sin that requires Confession - and depending what it is, we MIGHT be directed to receive the Eucharist anyway and confess after, if that is the only way it can be done, and the sin is not too severe.

I asked his blessing once when I was late and missed the Gospel. It was terrible weather, and I'm almost an hour away on a good day, so he gave his blessing for me to receive.

I did abstain another time, because I felt my spiritual state was not what it should be. In retrospect, I should have received, because I had repented, but I wanted Confession first.

But the general practice of many is to be in Church and receive the Eucharist, both as often as possible. How often anyone else confesses, I don't know. But weekly isn't at all typical for us. He generally urges most to come 4x a year at least. (Greek parish)

I'm wondering what's typical for Antiochian. My SF is Antiochian. He has given me the same directions as far as receiving the Eucharist, but has directed me to go to confession much mire frequently (8-12x a year).

I have a perception that could be wrong that the jurisdictions where confession before receiving is always required tend to be ones where less frequent reception is also the norm?

 

[rusmeister]

Agree with the others.
Matt's point about obedience is good; obedience is one of the most underrated and undervalued virtues of our time.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I have a perception that could be wrong that the jurisdictions where confession before receiving is always required tend to be ones where less frequent reception is also the norm?

I can't speak for them.


One thing I know is this. Some of our parishioners lived under Turkish persecution. They grew up only being able to go to Church and receive the Eucharist a few times a year. In their families, they would often fast as if it were Holy Week before going to Liturgy, have Confession first, etc. Father has explained that had to do with the climate they lived under and their desire to make the event as sacred as possible for themselves, which is a good and reverent thing. But that we should not overlay that onto the Church at large as if it is the norm if, worse yet, the only way it can be done. But the yiayias nearing the century mark are sometimes very set in their ways. Most are quick to explain to me though how things were for them, and why, and why we do differently now with no oppression.

 

[Bessie]

glad you got a good answer. the best thing when it comes to this is to follow your priest

Yeah, I'm not suggesting that anyone else with different practice or instructions is doing it wrong... I just was kind of blown away is all. My tendency is to think oh I'm not worthy to approach so maybe I shouldn't. In my RC days the expectation was to stay away from communion if you aren't in the right state, not to view reception itself as an act of obedience.

 

[Principal Moo]

So I asked for some guidance on this issue because it is so easy for me to fall into my Roman Catholic programming around trying to discern whether or not I am able to receive communion based on my last confession, sins I've committed since then, etc. The answer I got from my priest was pretty amazing to me, and I'm still processing it, so please share your thoughts too.

He told me that 1. there is no direct relationship in general - you come to confession regularly, at least four times a year, or as often as things begin to weigh on you. The idea that we have to confess before every communion would imply that having received communion we immediately need to go to confession, which is obviously not the case. 2. Unless you have been specifically told otherwise, if you're confessing regularly, you receive communion at every liturgy. However, if you do abstain from communion, *that* needs to be confessed right away, before you receive again, because we are directly commanded to draw near and didn't.

Anyway, all I can say at this moment is, wow... but please guys, share your thoughts on this. Help me process.

As a fellow former Roman Catholic, I understand your concern. It's an interesting discussion and one that I have not had to experience yet as Father begs people to come to Confession before receiving Communion. I don't know if that's normal, but he will take all opportunities during the Divine Liturgy to hear confession.

As Army Matt said, you can't go wrong listening to your priest. This is what I love about Orthodoxy: we are really called to establish that relationship with our spiritual father so that he can continue to guide us. Something that I was not very fond of in the RC is the fact that confessions were anonymous and it was so difficult to meet with my priests.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I used to think an anonymous confession would be a good thing ... but now I'm quite comfortable with the fact that my priest knows me and so he knows when anything needs addressing, and when not. And I know I can trust his advice and insights.

 

[Bessie]

As a fellow former Roman Catholic, I understand your concern. It's an interesting discussion and one that I have not had to experience yet as Father begs people to come to Confession before receiving Communion. I don't know if that's normal, but he will take all opportunities during the Divine Liturgy to hear confession.

As Army Matt said, you can't go wrong listening to your priest. This is what I love about Orthodoxy: we are really called to establish that relationship with our spiritual father so that he can continue to guide us. Something that I was not very fond of in the RC is the fact that confessions were anonymous and it was so difficult to meet with my priests.

Yes, I actually liked anonymous confession when I was RC... it seemed to focus things in a way and made it easier to confess. BUT I know having experienced the Orthodox way, the ongoing relationship with the confessor is so important and I've found so much more grace than I did by going through the motions and reciting my list... But perhaps this isn't totally fair because face to face confession is usually an option in the RCC and I usually didn't take it.

 

[Principal Moo]

Yes, I actually liked anonymous confession when I was RC... it seemed to focus things in a way and made it easier to confess. BUT I know having experienced the Orthodox way, the ongoing relationship with the confessor is so important and I've found so much more grace than I did by going through the motions and reciting my list... But perhaps this isn't totally fair because face to face confession is usually an option in the RCC and I usually didn't take it.

Not to derail your thread too much, but something I used to do was "shop" for Confession; I would go to different parishes to confess so that I would not have to worry about the priest recognizing me. In my opinion, this lacked some accountability in that my spiritual father could not hold me accountable when I did this.

 

[Bessie]

Not to derail your thread too much, but something I used to do was "shop" for Confession; I would go to different parishes to confess so that I would not have to worry about the priest recognizing me. In my opinion, this lacked some accountability in that my spiritual father could not hold me accountable when I did this.

I did that too and didn't think twice about it... But it would horrify me now. When I'd been out of church for years and finally decided that I wanted to return and go to confession I'd been attending liturgy at a different church than the one I used to go to. I ultimately sought out my old parish and priest to confess to, and I'm very thankful both that I did that and that I had the opportunity to do it! If I'd moved or the priest was no longer there I think I would have felt like some things were unresolved.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Not to derail your thread too much, but something I used to do was "shop" for Confession; I would go to different parishes to confess so that I would not have to worry about the priest recognizing me. In my opinion, this lacked some accountability in that my spiritual father could not hold me accountable when I did this.

I heard an Orthodox priest say that once when someone came to him who did not know him and confessed a very serious sin, he would not pray the absolution prayers for him because he was avoiding telling his own confessor and wanted to escape any accountability.

 

[Principal Moo]

I heard an Orthodox priest say that once when someone came to him who did not know him and confessed a very serious sin, he would not pray the absolution prayers for him because he was avoiding telling his own confessor and wanted to escape any accountability.

I wonder if that's an acceptable practice though. Take my situation, for example. We do not have a regular priest here in Hanoi. Priests visit when they can (usually a few months between visits) and they have not really been the same ones. One has been here more than others, but I don't know if he's the priest that will be assigned to this area.

I have thought about going to Confession when I visit an area that has a priest just to take advantage of the fact that I am close one. In fact, I would think that it is responsible to seek out a priest if I'm near one.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I wonder if that's an acceptable practice though. Take my situation, for example. We do not have a regular priest here in Hanoi. Priests visit when they can (usually a few months between visits) and they have not really been the same ones. One has been here more than others, but I don't know if he's the priest that will be assigned to this area.

I have thought about going to Confession when I visit an area that has a priest just to take advantage of the fact that I am close one. In fact, I would think that it is responsible to seek out a priest if I'm near one.

You are describing a different situation. (Sorry I wasn't very clear.)

This was a person who had a regular Confessor, and purposely sought out an unknown priest in order to confess a particular sin so that it would remain unknown to his own priest and he wouldn't be called on to be accountable in an ongoing context.

All of that was apparently discussed. It wasn't just the priest deciding not to absolve on a whim because he didn't recognize the guy. I should have explained better - sorry about that.


And yes, in your position, i would avail myself of any priest any chance I got. I hope you do get a regular priest assigned soon.

 

[Bessie]

I wonder if that's an acceptable practice though. Take my situation, for example. We do not have a regular priest here in Hanoi. Priests visit when they can (usually a few months between visits) and they have not really been the same ones. One has been here more than others, but I don't know if he's the priest that will be assigned to this area.

I have thought about going to Confession when I visit an area that has a priest just to take advantage of the fact that I am close one. In fact, I would think that it is responsible to seek out a priest if I'm near one.

I know every priest is different, and I'm projecting my own priest onto this scenario, but I imagine that he would ask for some background information if someone unknown to him showed up for confession. Learning about your situation would be received differently - someone proactively seeking out access to the sacrament of confession- than someone who said they came across town because they were too ashamed or embarrassed to tell their regular confessor.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I know every priest is different, and I'm projecting my own priest onto this scenario, but I imagine that he would ask for some background information if someone unknown to him showed up for confession. Learning about your situation would be received differently - someone proactively seeking out access to the sacrament of confession- than someone who said they came across town because they were too ashamed or embarrassed to tell their regular confessor.

Exactly. I really didn't explain that well. Apparently there was conversation and the priest learned it was for the purpose of avoidance.

 

[Principal Moo]

You are describing a different situation. (Sorry I wasn't very clear.)

This was a person who had a regular Confessor, and purposely sought out an unknown priest in order to confess a particular sin so that it would remain unknown to his own priest and he wouldn't be called on to be accountable in an ongoing context.

All of that was apparently discussed. It wasn't just the priest deciding not to absolve on a whim because he didn't recognize the guy. I should have explained better - sorry about that.


And yes, in your position, i would avail myself of any priest any chance I got. I hope you do get a regular priest assigned soon.

Thanks for clarifying