OCD vows (lies) or my own mind?

[dl_17]

Hello everyone! First of all, I'm really thankful of the existence of this forum, I really need your opinion on this.

I know this is not new, I've seen many people with the same problem on this forum, but I just can't seem to find comfort in the answers on someone else's thread.

Anyway, I know that I had a really bad history of making promises to the Lord. That was during my childhood. And if I'm honest, my faith has grown a lot during the pandemic, and I realised the significance of these mistakes, and I've learned from this impulsivity. However, some time in between the time I made the promises and the pandemic, I've forgotten a lot of the promises I've made. I mean, I remember the ones I made out of self-will, but not the ones I made during times of trouble. However, I am a very doubtful person. I still think that there were more promises I made out of self-will. One day, somehow, the thought "did I promise to be celibate?" came into my mind. It just came. But I contemplated about it for so long. I tried to recover my memories, so far all evidence point to no, but I start doubting whether or not these memories are true. This was when I started to be excessively worried. I looked for help on the internet, and the best diagnosis for it is scrupulosity. Though, if I'm honest, this event helped me build up my faith as I started to watch more sermons and built a more personal relationship with the Lord.

Anyway, that was a bit more than a week ago, and the anxiety resided, but the problem still lingers somehow. Though, I believe that my bad history of making promises came back to haunt me. I'm suffering a lot of intrusive thoughts.

The intrusive thoughts come as "I promise ...". I am extremely terrified of this, as I've learned a lot from my past. To counter this, I would either breathe heavily, gasp, or utter "nanananana" or anything as ridiculous as that, as long as I don't complete the sentence in my mind. However, sometimes it just slips right through. The sentences get completed. I really don't know what to do with this. This is the one I'm most scared of, as it involves not getting married. As a teenager, the thought of living alone is just PAINFUL, even though the bible says celibacy is a gift. I really didn't want to make that promise, and I KNOW that, but again, my doubt would kick in and start to question MY OWN INTENTION OF THOSE THOUGHTS. I KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS, BUT I KEEP DOUBTING. I understand that multiple verses in the bible tells us to pay our vows, and that's exactly why I learned not to make any!

The way I seek comfort in this is watching sermons related to negative thoughts, and keep telling myself "God knows my heart", but it just seems like it's not enough! I've read somewhere on the internet, on bible.org, someone asked whether or not a thought of a vow counts as a vow, and the writer says no and that they're just temptations. But again, it's just not enough!

I know some people have it worse, but I would say I'm having a tough time with it. And to top it all off, I haven't had the chance to get a second opinion. Your insight would be greatly appreciated! God bless you all!

 

[Palmfever]

Don't make promises.
Matthew 5:37
“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

James, 4:13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and get gain”; 14 whereas you do not know about tomorrow. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 Whoever knows what is right to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hello everyone! First of all, I'm really thankful of the existence of this forum, I really need your opinion on this.

I know this is not new, I've seen many people with the same problem on this forum, but I just can't seem to find comfort in the answers on someone else's thread.

Anyway, I know that I had a really bad history of making promises to the Lord. That was during my childhood. And if I'm honest, my faith has grown a lot during the pandemic, and I realised the significance of these mistakes, and I've learned from this impulsivity. However, some time in between the time I made the promises and the pandemic, I've forgotten a lot of the promises I've made. I mean, I remember the ones I made out of self-will, but not the ones I made during times of trouble. However, I am a very doubtful person. I still think that there were more promises I made out of self-will. One day, somehow, the thought "did I promise to be celibate?" came into my mind. It just came. But I contemplated about it for so long. I tried to recover my memories, so far all evidence point to no, but I start doubting whether or not these memories are true. This was when I started to be excessively worried. I looked for help on the internet, and the best diagnosis for it is scrupulosity. Though, if I'm honest, this event helped me build up my faith as I started to watch more sermons and built a more personal relationship with the Lord.

Anyway, that was a bit more than a week ago, and the anxiety resided, but the problem still lingers somehow. Though, I believe that my bad history of making promises came back to haunt me. I'm suffering a lot of intrusive thoughts.

The intrusive thoughts come as "I promise ...". I am extremely terrified of this, as I've learned a lot from my past. To counter this, I would either breathe heavily, gasp, or utter "nanananana" or anything as ridiculous as that, as long as I don't complete the sentence in my mind. However, sometimes it just slips right through. The sentences get completed. I really don't know what to do with this. This is the one I'm most scared of, as it involves not getting married. As a teenager, the thought of living alone is just PAINFUL, even though the bible says celibacy is a gift. I really didn't want to make that promise, and I KNOW that, but again, my doubt would kick in and start to question MY OWN INTENTION OF THOSE THOUGHTS. I KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS, BUT I KEEP DOUBTING. I understand that multiple verses in the bible tells us to pay our vows, and that's exactly why I learned not to make any!

The way I seek comfort in this is watching sermons related to negative thoughts, and keep telling myself "God knows my heart", but it just seems like it's not enough! I've read somewhere on the internet, on bible.org, someone asked whether or not a thought of a vow counts as a vow, and the writer says no and that they're just temptations. But again, it's just not enough!

I know some people have it worse, but I would say I'm having a tough time with it. And to top it all off, I haven't had the chance to get a second opinion. Your insight would be greatly appreciated! God bless you all!

Firstly the bible tells us not to make promises.

Mat 5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Basically it means saying anything as a vow is motivated by Satan.

The way I see these "impossible" vows that we make, is Satan initiated it to bring us stress, and I believe God would forgive us for breaking them.

 

[Jeshu]

Hello everyone! First of all, I'm really thankful of the existence of this forum, I really need your opinion on this.

I know this is not new, I've seen many people with the same problem on this forum, but I just can't seem to find comfort in the answers on someone else's thread.

Anyway, I know that I had a really bad history of making promises to the Lord. That was during my childhood. And if I'm honest, my faith has grown a lot during the pandemic, and I realised the significance of these mistakes, and I've learned from this impulsivity. However, some time in between the time I made the promises and the pandemic, I've forgotten a lot of the promises I've made. I mean, I remember the ones I made out of self-will, but not the ones I made during times of trouble. However, I am a very doubtful person. I still think that there were more promises I made out of self-will. One day, somehow, the thought "did I promise to be celibate?" came into my mind. It just came. But I contemplated about it for so long. I tried to recover my memories, so far all evidence point to no, but I start doubting whether or not these memories are true. This was when I started to be excessively worried. I looked for help on the internet, and the best diagnosis for it is scrupulosity. Though, if I'm honest, this event helped me build up my faith as I started to watch more sermons and built a more personal relationship with the Lord.

Anyway, that was a bit more than a week ago, and the anxiety resided, but the problem still lingers somehow. Though, I believe that my bad history of making promises came back to haunt me. I'm suffering a lot of intrusive thoughts.

The intrusive thoughts come as "I promise ...". I am extremely terrified of this, as I've learned a lot from my past. To counter this, I would either breathe heavily, gasp, or utter "nanananana" or anything as ridiculous as that, as long as I don't complete the sentence in my mind. However, sometimes it just slips right through. The sentences get completed. I really don't know what to do with this. This is the one I'm most scared of, as it involves not getting married. As a teenager, the thought of living alone is just PAINFUL, even though the bible says celibacy is a gift. I really didn't want to make that promise, and I KNOW that, but again, my doubt would kick in and start to question MY OWN INTENTION OF THOSE THOUGHTS. I KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS, BUT I KEEP DOUBTING. I understand that multiple verses in the bible tells us to pay our vows, and that's exactly why I learned not to make any!

The way I seek comfort in this is watching sermons related to negative thoughts, and keep telling myself "God knows my heart", but it just seems like it's not enough! I've read somewhere on the internet, on bible.org, someone asked whether or not a thought of a vow counts as a vow, and the writer says no and that they're just temptations. But again, it's just not enough!

I know some people have it worse, but I would say I'm having a tough time with it. And to top it all off, I haven't had the chance to get a second opinion. Your insight would be greatly appreciated! God bless you all!

The best is to never make promises but to tell God that you have a real weakness there and to protect you from wrong promises.

It is amazing how Jesus can help us mentally ill people. For we may know that when we fall we can eat grace and grow love for Him, dying for our sins, and when we don't fall then we are thankful and love Him, a no loose situation.

Go trust God's love to be stronger than your promises and you will have nothing to fear. As you can see life is about learning. Learning to trust Jesus is the best lesson we can ever learn. He is so gracious and so forgiving and so merciful, unbelievable, that is why i love Him so much because He truly rescues us from our sins and failures to do what is right time and again.

Lets praise His holy Name

 

[Sabertooth]

Anyway, I know that I had a really bad history of making promises to the Lord. That was during my childhood. And if I'm honest, my faith has grown a lot during the pandemic, and I realised the significance of these mistakes, and I've learned from this impulsivity. However, some time in between the time I made the promises and the pandemic, I've forgotten a lot of the promises I've made. I mean, I remember the ones I made out of self-will, but not the ones I made during times of trouble.

Your insight would be greatly appreciated!

Your real problem is that you believe that you are responsible to honor your compulsive promises. If you treat the root problem of OCD, much of that would go away.

See a psychiatrist and take prescribed medicine.

Look for a church that has a healing ministry.

 

[Dendy]

I thought this person made it clear the promises were in his mind or either there was a fear that they could have been said in the past. He knows not to promise. That's what the fear is all about. You have nothing to be afraid of dl_17. I know a pastor who is a great preacher who has these problems. The thoughts come and he doesn't want them. It happens to me a lot. It seems like I let them happen sometimes. It's just the illness. Don't you worry!!!!!

 

[dl_17]

I thought this person made it clear the promises were in his mind or either there was a fear that they could have been said in the past. He knows not to promise. That's what the fear is all about. You have nothing to be afraid of dl_17. I know a pastor who is a great preacher who has these problems. The thoughts come and he doesn't want them. It happens to me a lot. It seems like I let them happen sometimes. It's just the illness. Don't you worry!!!!!

Thank you very much! You mean to say that even though some slipped past my "rituals", they were not valid? Deep down somewhere, I know I didn't mean to think those in my mind, but I keep doubting myself. Every time I get close to certainty and confidence, the thought that I'm just self-justifying comes up, and the doubt comes again. The thing is, even though I know I'm doubting, the doubts are just so strong! I understand now, very clearly, that I should not be making vows, and fulfil the ones I made. I know that God wants me to live a life without worry, and I would really like to trust Him.

 

[Dendy]

Even if some slipped past your rituals, they are not valid!!!! The nature of OCD makes us terrified. I've said things, promised things in the past that I didn't bring to pass. I'm forgiven because Jesus paid the price for me. I know not to do it again so I consider it one of the lessons God taught me on this field trip to earth (so to speak). But the horrible thoughts that come into my mind are the illness. I hate the thoughts. They almost make me break out in a cold sweat. But I know God knows what's in my heart and he knows what OCD does to people and I have to believe that in His great mercy and love that He has great compassion for people who have such a tormenting illness.

 

[dl_17]

.

 

[dl_17]

Even if some slipped past your rituals, they are not valid!!!! The nature of OCD makes us terrified. I've said things, promised things in the past that I didn't bring to pass. I'm forgiven because Jesus paid the price for me. I know not to do it again so I consider it one of the lessons God taught me on this field trip to earth (so to speak). But the horrible thoughts that come into my mind are the illness. I hate the thoughts. They almost make me break out in a cold sweat. But I know God knows what's in my heart and he knows what OCD does to people and I have to believe that in His great mercy and love that He has great compassion for people who have such a tormenting illness.

Sorry to say this, but just now I was having a great battle in my mind, the same promise. But this time, it kept slipping through, and at one point in my mind, I sort of stopped resisting had a thought like "that's just it, it's just a sentence", and I believe that I meant it as in "its just a thought, no biggie" That was in the morning, and it's afternoon now and the memory that I said that came back and is haunting me! I really had no intention on "That's it, you made the promise", but this false thought is haunting me! I'm starting to doubt my intentions again, I really don't know anymore.

 

[dl_17]

The best is to never make promises but to tell God that you have a real weakness there and to protect you from wrong promises.

It is amazing how Jesus can help us mentally ill people. For we may know that when we fall we can eat grace and grow love for Him, dying for our sins, and when we don't fall then we are thankful and love Him, a no loose situation.

Go trust God's love to be stronger than your promises and you will have nothing to fear. As you can see life is about learning. Learning to trust Jesus is the best lesson we can ever learn. He is so gracious and so forgiving and so merciful, unbelievable, that is why i love Him so much because He truly rescues us from our sins and failures to do what is right time and again.

Lets praise His holy Name

Praise the Lord! I have learned this the hard way, but I'm glad I learned it. It's just that these days I've been getting a lot of intrusive thoughts in the form of promises. It all starts with the pronoun "I". I, to some degree, understand that this is not from me. It really is bothering me, especially that I really, extremely do not want to make another promise. I've been juggling between "These are just thoughts" and the opposite. My heart is extremely troubled, and if I am truly honest, I am desperate for certainty that I did not make those promises.

 

[dl_17]

Don't make promises.
Matthew 5:37
“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

James, 4:13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and get gain”; 14 whereas you do not know about tomorrow. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 Whoever knows what is right to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

I really appreciate the scriptures, but if you don't mind, can you help me interpret James 4:13? I would greatly appreciate it. God bless you!

 

[Tolworth John]

I've seen many people with the same problem

Sorry but the answer to OCD and intrusive thoughts remains the same
25 tips for successful treating your OCD.

Don't argue, debate, ignore or try to suppress intrusive thoughts, just acknowledge them and carry on.
If you are struggling then medication will help calm your mind down so you can get on top of things.

Re promises, God isn't interested in them as he knows they will Always be broken.

Promises, vows etc caused by your OCD are irrelevant simple because if your OCD compels you to make a promise or via it is under duress and that makes it invalid.

 

[Mari17]

Hello everyone! First of all, I'm really thankful of the existence of this forum, I really need your opinion on this.

I know this is not new, I've seen many people with the same problem on this forum, but I just can't seem to find comfort in the answers on someone else's thread.

Anyway, I know that I had a really bad history of making promises to the Lord. That was during my childhood. And if I'm honest, my faith has grown a lot during the pandemic, and I realised the significance of these mistakes, and I've learned from this impulsivity. However, some time in between the time I made the promises and the pandemic, I've forgotten a lot of the promises I've made. I mean, I remember the ones I made out of self-will, but not the ones I made during times of trouble. However, I am a very doubtful person. I still think that there were more promises I made out of self-will. One day, somehow, the thought "did I promise to be celibate?" came into my mind. It just came. But I contemplated about it for so long. I tried to recover my memories, so far all evidence point to no, but I start doubting whether or not these memories are true. This was when I started to be excessively worried. I looked for help on the internet, and the best diagnosis for it is scrupulosity. Though, if I'm honest, this event helped me build up my faith as I started to watch more sermons and built a more personal relationship with the Lord.

Anyway, that was a bit more than a week ago, and the anxiety resided, but the problem still lingers somehow. Though, I believe that my bad history of making promises came back to haunt me. I'm suffering a lot of intrusive thoughts.

The intrusive thoughts come as "I promise ...". I am extremely terrified of this, as I've learned a lot from my past. To counter this, I would either breathe heavily, gasp, or utter "nanananana" or anything as ridiculous as that, as long as I don't complete the sentence in my mind. However, sometimes it just slips right through. The sentences get completed. I really don't know what to do with this. This is the one I'm most scared of, as it involves not getting married. As a teenager, the thought of living alone is just PAINFUL, even though the bible says celibacy is a gift. I really didn't want to make that promise, and I KNOW that, but again, my doubt would kick in and start to question MY OWN INTENTION OF THOSE THOUGHTS. I KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS, BUT I KEEP DOUBTING. I understand that multiple verses in the bible tells us to pay our vows, and that's exactly why I learned not to make any!

The way I seek comfort in this is watching sermons related to negative thoughts, and keep telling myself "God knows my heart", but it just seems like it's not enough! I've read somewhere on the internet, on bible.org, someone asked whether or not a thought of a vow counts as a vow, and the writer says no and that they're just temptations. But again, it's just not enough!

I know some people have it worse, but I would say I'm having a tough time with it. And to top it all off, I haven't had the chance to get a second opinion. Your insight would be greatly appreciated! God bless you all!

You're right, this is a very common obsession among Christians with OCD (or scrupulosity, which is in effect religious OCD), and in fact I've had this obsession before too.

It seems that you might be realizing that things like asking for reassurance (or researching in order to find it), and pushing away or trying to control your intrusive thoughts is not effective at stemming the thoughts or decreasing your obsession. That is correct. With OCD, doing the things that your fear (obsession) is making you do in order to decrease the anxiety is called a compulsion. Doing compulsions doesn't help, because what your OCD wants is for you to keep focusing on the fear, which is what happens when you do a compulsion. The key is to get rid of the OCD in the same way that you'd try to get rid of an attention-seeking bully - by ignoring it and refusing to give it attention.

Practically speaking, that means that your task is to recognize that the intrusive thoughts do NOT indicate your true desires (even though you feel like they do, or are afraid they do), and to ignore them. Will it feel like you are thinking them on purpose? Probably. But that doesn't mean you are. OCD is very tricky at making us think, "Well, maybe you DO really feel/mean these things!" It makes us hyper-analyze our thoughts and feelings so much that we feel very confused about what we actually do mean. But just because OCD makes us feel like we mean something, doesn't mean that we do. LOL.

It sounds like you might benefit greatly from learning more about how to treat OCD/scrupulosity. You could consider getting a therapist who specializes in OCD, or you could self-educate yourself - or both. I'd like to suggest a few resources below to get you started. Please let me know if you would like more, or have any questions.

Overcome OCD: Recovery tips for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
OCD & CHRISTIANITY – CHRISTIANITY
Facebook Groups (Closed FB support group; I'm a part of it, and it's quite helpful. Make sure you answer the screening questions completely for a smooth and quick entry process.)
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD

 

[dl_17]

You're right, this is a very common obsession among Christians with OCD (or scrupulosity, which is in effect religious OCD), and in fact I've had this obsession before too.

It seems that you might be realizing that things like asking for reassurance (or researching in order to find it), and pushing away or trying to control your intrusive thoughts is not effective at stemming the thoughts or decreasing your obsession. That is correct. With OCD, doing the things that your fear (obsession) is making you do in order to decrease the anxiety is called a compulsion. Doing compulsions doesn't help, because what your OCD wants is for you to keep focusing on the fear, which is what happens when you do a compulsion. The key is to get rid of the OCD in the same way that you'd try to get rid of an attention-seeking bully - by ignoring it and refusing to give it attention.

Practically speaking, that means that your task is to recognize that the intrusive thoughts do NOT indicate your true desires (even though you feel like they do, or are afraid they do), and to ignore them. Will it feel like you are thinking them on purpose? Probably. But that doesn't mean you are. OCD is very tricky at making us think, "Well, maybe you DO really feel/mean these things!" It makes us hyper-analyze our thoughts and feelings so much that we feel very confused about what we actually do mean. But just because OCD makes us feel like we mean something, doesn't mean that we do. LOL.

It sounds like you might benefit greatly from learning more about how to treat OCD/scrupulosity. You could consider getting a therapist who specializes in OCD, or you could self-educate yourself - or both. I'd like to suggest a few resources below to get you started. Please let me know if you would like more, or have any questions.

Overcome OCD: Recovery tips for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
OCD & CHRISTIANITY – CHRISTIANITY
Facebook Groups (Closed FB support group; I'm a part of it, and it's quite helpful. Make sure you answer the screening questions completely for a smooth and quick entry process.)
Managing the Haunting Thoughts of Pure O – OCD

You're right. I think I would be lying to myself if I said asking for opinions and assurances will help. It does help, in the short run. But at the same time, I'm learning more and more about OCD. I would've been stuck in my own world had I not browsed the internet for it. The same goes for scriptures. I keep telling myself scriptures such as Philippians 5:6-7, or any "God knows my heart" quotes, but the doubt keeps coming.

I really don't want to live my life in this state. Every day is its own battle, I wake up worried and find reassurances throughout the day so that I don't fall into a spiral of self-condemnation or anxiety at night, and the cycle repeats. So naturally, I want to commit myself to a renewal of the mind.

Though it's the first step that's the hardest. The fact that the thoughts come as "I promise", makes me feel a sense of responsibility for it, because of the pronoun "I". I'm struggling on seeing them as intrusive thoughts, but you're right, they ARE intrusive. I'm still afraid of letting the thoughts to get completed in my mind, as it FEELS like I'm intentionally letting myself think those thoughts, implying that I WANT those thoughts. I'm sure you're aware of this. If I may ask, do you have any personal advice of your own besides the ones generally available on the internet?

 

[Mari17]

Thank you for your response! Your ideas are very well thought out, and it sounds like you have a lot of good common sense, which will serve you well in working on your OCD.

I know exactly how you feel. No matter our obsession, we always have a "good" reason to explain why it feels like it's not OCD. That doubt is kind of what makes it OCD. LOL.

It's difficult, but the key is really to just keep saying "no" to your OCD in whatever ways you can. That means NOT looking continually for reassurance, and not even compulsively reassuring yourself. I mean, I think you can say "God knows my heart" once if it helps you, but if you find you HAVE to say it after every thought, that's when it starts becoming compulsive.

One thing that helps me, when I'm having trouble refusing to do my compulsions, is to delay and/or limit them. So, for example, I might force myself to wait five or ten minutes after an intrusive thought before doing anything about it. Or, if my compulsion is repeatedly asking forgiveness for my intrusive thoughts, I might try to go a day without doing that, and just pray once at the end of the day for forgiveness. Things like that. It is very hard, but if we work on it bit by bit, we gradually develop courage to say no more and more to the OCD, and we become more able to discern the obsessive thinking patterns in our brains.

Do you have anyone in your life (parents, pastor, trusted friend, etc.) whom you can confide in about these things, and who can give you some guidance from a non-obsessive point of view and let you know if you're being too obsessive about something?

 

[dl_17]

Thank you for your response! Your ideas are very well thought out, and it sounds like you have a lot of good common sense, which will serve you well in working on your OCD.

I know exactly how you feel. No matter our obsession, we always have a "good" reason to explain why it feels like it's not OCD. That doubt is kind of what makes it OCD. LOL.

It's difficult, but the key is really to just keep saying "no" to your OCD in whatever ways you can. That means NOT looking continually for reassurance, and not even compulsively reassuring yourself. I mean, I think you can say "God knows my heart" once if it helps you, but if you find you HAVE to say it after every thought, that's when it starts becoming compulsive.

One thing that helps me, when I'm having trouble refusing to do my compulsions, is to delay and/or limit them. So, for example, I might force myself to wait five or ten minutes after an intrusive thought before doing anything about it. Or, if my compulsion is repeatedly asking forgiveness for my intrusive thoughts, I might try to go a day without doing that, and just pray once at the end of the day for forgiveness. Things like that. It is very hard, but if we work on it bit by bit, we gradually develop courage to say no more and more to the OCD, and we become more able to discern the obsessive thinking patterns in our brains.

Do you have anyone in your life (parents, pastor, trusted friend, etc.) whom you can confide in about these things, and who can give you some guidance from a non-obsessive point of view and let you know if you're being too obsessive about something?

Actually, no, I do not have anyone I can discuss this with, and I can't tell the reasons. I've been relying on sermons and personal testimonies on google and youtube. Though, somehow like I mentioned, this battle allowed me to increase faith significantly. I pray every night like a son talking to his Father, no longer a scripted prayer. I always try to seek Jesus when the thoughts come.

Though, I have to admit, I'm not doing it well. I get scared that celibacy is actually what God wants for me, but I'm not certain of that, and it's this uncertainty that I fear. I know I should trust in God, but how I perceive this situation is I don't even know which voice is God's and which voice is the enemy's! I might be trusting the wrong person! There is no scripture specific enough to my context, and I feel in danger because of it. Naturally, I would feel discouraged if this all went the way that I'm scared of, but I was told that God's voice does not stir up anxiety nor condemn me. But what if it's just my heart that can't tolerate it? I understand that uncertainty is one of the things that OCD makes you fear, but truly, it is a hard battle.

However I really do appreciate your comments! Thank you very much!

 

[Dendy]

Hey. I couldn't get better without medication. I believe I inherited it from both sides of my family. I think it was found that there is a misfire in a synapse in the brain. Reassurance does help me even today but I would have almost no quality of life without medication. They are using the SSRI drugs. Please go see a doctor ASAP. You could even see your regular general practioner. It can take 10 to 14 days before the medication begins to work but I got better and better up to 5 months later. I've been taking medication for many years. Help is out there so please don't give up. I know how difficult this illness is. You're not alone. I care.

 

[Mari17]

Actually, no, I do not have anyone I can discuss this with, and I can't tell the reasons. I've been relying on sermons and personal testimonies on google and youtube. Though, somehow like I mentioned, this battle allowed me to increase faith significantly. I pray every night like a son talking to his Father, no longer a scripted prayer. I always try to seek Jesus when the thoughts come.

Though, I have to admit, I'm not doing it well. I get scared that celibacy is actually what God wants for me, but I'm not certain of that, and it's this uncertainty that I fear. I know I should trust in God, but how I perceive this situation is I don't even know which voice is God's and which voice is the enemy's! I might be trusting the wrong person! There is no scripture specific enough to my context, and I feel in danger because of it. Naturally, I would feel discouraged if this all went the way that I'm scared of, but I was told that God's voice does not stir up anxiety nor condemn me. But what if it's just my heart that can't tolerate it? I understand that uncertainty is one of the things that OCD makes you fear, but truly, it is a hard battle.

However I really do appreciate your comments! Thank you very much!

I agree with you - this kind of affliction can teach us much more about how to rely on Jesus and trust in Him and His grace, instead of leaning on our own perfectionism and rituals. As you mentioned, OCD is, at its core, a lust for 100% certainty, a desire to be completely in control (at least in our obsessive area) - which is of course impossible in life on this earth! So yes, the journey out of OCD is about learning more and more how to trust Christ and rest in Him.

I understand how you feel about being confused. The "what if it's just my heart that can't tolerate it?" question sounds very typical of OCD. That's the kind of reasoning I use with my obsessions as well! "This FEELS like OCD - it has the oppressiveness and fear and doubt that indicate an obsession - but what if it's just me ignoring the truth?!" But generally, if it feels like OCD, it is. I'll link to a few blog posts that may help with your particular kind of obsession.
STREET PREACHER OBSESSION – OCD & CHRISTIANITY
DISCERNMENT OF SPIRITS – OCD & CHRISTIANITY
OBSESSIONS ARE LIKE LAWYERS – OCD & CHRISTIANITY
I'd also suggest looking through some of the other blog posts on this site, as I've found many of them helpful in dealing with scrupulosity.

Please let me know if you have any more questions (I'm open to being private messaged with questions, if that's easier). And definitely, please keep researching OCD and how to treat it, and applying what you learn. There's lots of hope for learning to manage OCD and live victoriously over it, if we're willing to put in the hard work to get there!

P.S. Here are a couple more good resources, specifically from a Christian point of view:
https://www.thecbcd.org/resources/e...struggling-with-scrupulosity-or-religious-ocd
"Breaking Free of OCD: My Battle With Mental Pain and How God Rescued Me" by Jeff Wells (can get on Amazon)
"Strivings Within - The OCD Christian" by Mitzi VanCleve (can get on Amazon)

 

[dl_17]

Hey. I couldn't get better without medication. I believe I inherited it from both sides of my family. I think it was found that there is a misfire in a synapse in the brain. Reassurance does help me even today but I would have almost no quality of life without medication. They are using the SSRI drugs. Please go see a doctor ASAP. You could even see your regular general practioner. It can take 10 to 14 days before the medication begins to work but I got better and better up to 5 months later. I've been taking medication for many years. Help is out there so please don't give up. I know how difficult this illness is. You're not alone. I care.

Hi there! Sorry for the late reply, but I've set myself on the journey to heal what's in the heart rather than what's in the mind. I really suggest you to look up Mark Dejesus on youtube. He once suffered through what we're suffering through, and he does live streams. His live streams explain OCD with utmost clarity, gets right into the heart. He absolutely helped me with his live streams, and I think anyone with OCD will benefit from him. Go check him out! He's really helpful! I personally believe his advice is aligned with the Words of God, but I do suggest you check on it by your own too.