- Feb 14, 2018
- 10
- 10
- 38
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Is it possible to have obsessive, intrusive thoughts centered on themes such as God's will and a sense of direction?
I think this is what I've been struggling with for some time. It's really tough because these thoughts/impressions cause me to feel really uneasy about where I'm at in life even though I know that I'm in a good place. It makes it pretty close to impossible to find contentment in the present, regardless of what I'm doing. I say this in regard to where I'm living, my employment, and working on completing my degree. I know I'm not living in a way that dishonors God or anything like that. Having said this, I can see a pattern throughout my life where I'll think God is "calling me to a deeper level of surrender" or "sacrifice" and I'll obsess about whatever this course of action is until I finally "surrender" to whatever it may be. It's like my mind will just continue to obsess and ruminate and even make plans about whatever this course of action may be - even when I do not want to be thinking about these things... It's usually an Abraham and Issac scenario where I've got to "prove my love and devotion to God" in some new or extreme way. This could include selling what little possessions I may own, completely relocating, dropping out of my classes in school, etc. The list could go on. I hope you all get the point. The problem with all this is that when I've "followed through" and "surrendered" to these strong impressions (what I used to think was the Holy Spirit) there has never been any lasting peace or joy afterward. Usually only disappointment and disillusionment because I found that A) I didn't really feel better afterwards (maybe a temporary sense of release because I felt like I finally "surrendered") and B) There is always some new thing I've got to "surrender" which creates an entirely new obsession centered on the same thing.
I left all this as general as possible. I'm hoping some of you can relate to this kind of thinking. Your kind responses are welcome and appreciated. God bless you today
I think this is what I've been struggling with for some time. It's really tough because these thoughts/impressions cause me to feel really uneasy about where I'm at in life even though I know that I'm in a good place. It makes it pretty close to impossible to find contentment in the present, regardless of what I'm doing. I say this in regard to where I'm living, my employment, and working on completing my degree. I know I'm not living in a way that dishonors God or anything like that. Having said this, I can see a pattern throughout my life where I'll think God is "calling me to a deeper level of surrender" or "sacrifice" and I'll obsess about whatever this course of action is until I finally "surrender" to whatever it may be. It's like my mind will just continue to obsess and ruminate and even make plans about whatever this course of action may be - even when I do not want to be thinking about these things... It's usually an Abraham and Issac scenario where I've got to "prove my love and devotion to God" in some new or extreme way. This could include selling what little possessions I may own, completely relocating, dropping out of my classes in school, etc. The list could go on. I hope you all get the point. The problem with all this is that when I've "followed through" and "surrendered" to these strong impressions (what I used to think was the Holy Spirit) there has never been any lasting peace or joy afterward. Usually only disappointment and disillusionment because I found that A) I didn't really feel better afterwards (maybe a temporary sense of release because I felt like I finally "surrendered") and B) There is always some new thing I've got to "surrender" which creates an entirely new obsession centered on the same thing.
I left all this as general as possible. I'm hoping some of you can relate to this kind of thinking. Your kind responses are welcome and appreciated. God bless you today