OCD or God’s voice

[BeftEv]

Hello!

I’m new here, but I see several people struggling with similar things as me. I’ve dealt with OCD tendencies my entire life. I didn’t know it was OCD for years and years (probably close to 15 years). It always seems to attack what I love the most. As a kid, it attacked the relationship I had with my mom. In the past, I obsessed over being fearful I was a lesbian (now I know I’m not and it was an obsession). Being older, it has seemed to attack my relationship with God and my faith. in college, I was totally distraught that I thought I had Blasphemed the Holy Spirit and I was terrified. My prayer was “God I know you can’t forgive me for this, but I’m sorry anyways.” It was awful. Now I’m dating someone I love so, so much. Hey He’s growing in his faith daily. But I feel like God is beating me over the head demanding I break up with him. I’ve always struggled with being obsessive over decision making (even if the options are two good things and neither choice is bad). I’ve dated people in the past who I knew the chemistry simply wasn’t there and i had small thoughts of “well what if this is what God wants.” Now that I’m in a relationship I’m passionate about, I just feel so fearful day in and day out that God is demanding I end it. I would hate to disobey because i love God. But I would hate to end something that’s been great. There has been not one shed of wise counsel who believes that there is any biblical reason to break up. But i can’t seem to shake the feeling. I search for reassurance constantly. I have searched for hundreds of articles about God’s voice or OCD or consequences of disobeying, and I feel paralyzed and am harming the relationship that has so much potential to be amazing if I could let this go. But i love God and want to obey. Can anyone help with this??

 

[JohnB445]

Here is how I am fixing mine.

1. Constant prayer and asking God for a renewed mind (And you really need to want to have a renewed mind, and trust God will help you).

2. Avoid any negative thinking, or things that are hurting you. God is supposed to heal you and comfort you, not scare you.

3. Listen to the Holy Spirit


And this is serious, if you keep digging yourself into this negative thinking, you will eventually have a breakdown and have to cry out to Jesus Christ for help.

It has happened to me today, and I am coming back up on my feet.

Trust that God will help you, he is a God of love. He doesn't want his creation to do bad, and God is willing to help anyone who wants his help.

 

[SnowTiger]

Hello!

I’m new here, but I see several people struggling with similar things as me. I’ve dealt with OCD tendencies my entire life. I didn’t know it was OCD for years and years (probably close to 15 years). It always seems to attack what I love the most. As a kid, it attacked the relationship I had with my mom. In the past, I obsessed over being fearful I was a lesbian (now I know I’m not and it was an obsession). Being older, it has seemed to attack my relationship with God and my faith. in college, I was totally distraught that I thought I had Blasphemed the Holy Spirit and I was terrified. My prayer was “God I know you can’t forgive me for this, but I’m sorry anyways.” It was awful. Now I’m dating someone I love so, so much. Hey He’s growing in his faith daily. But I feel like God is beating me over the head demanding I break up with him. I’ve always struggled with being obsessive over decision making (even if the options are two good things and neither choice is bad). I’ve dated people in the past who I knew the chemistry simply wasn’t there and i had small thoughts of “well what if this is what God wants.” Now that I’m in a relationship I’m passionate about, I just feel so fearful day in and day out that God is demanding I end it. I would hate to disobey because i love God. But I would hate to end something that’s been great. There has been not one shed of wise counsel who believes that there is any biblical reason to break up. But i can’t seem to shake the feeling. I search for reassurance constantly. I have searched for hundreds of articles about God’s voice or OCD or consequences of disobeying, and I feel paralyzed and am harming the relationship that has so much potential to be amazing if I could let this go. But i love God and want to obey. Can anyone help with this??

I think that God would want you to have a good relationship with someone you love. So I think maybe your thoughts that you have to end your relationship are from OCD. I think that if something is good, God would want that for you. So don't be afraid.

 

[devin553344]

Hello!

I’m new here, but I see several people struggling with similar things as me. I’ve dealt with OCD tendencies my entire life. I didn’t know it was OCD for years and years (probably close to 15 years). It always seems to attack what I love the most. As a kid, it attacked the relationship I had with my mom. In the past, I obsessed over being fearful I was a lesbian (now I know I’m not and it was an obsession). Being older, it has seemed to attack my relationship with God and my faith. in college, I was totally distraught that I thought I had Blasphemed the Holy Spirit and I was terrified. My prayer was “God I know you can’t forgive me for this, but I’m sorry anyways.” It was awful. Now I’m dating someone I love so, so much. Hey He’s growing in his faith daily. But I feel like God is beating me over the head demanding I break up with him. I’ve always struggled with being obsessive over decision making (even if the options are two good things and neither choice is bad). I’ve dated people in the past who I knew the chemistry simply wasn’t there and i had small thoughts of “well what if this is what God wants.” Now that I’m in a relationship I’m passionate about, I just feel so fearful day in and day out that God is demanding I end it. I would hate to disobey because i love God. But I would hate to end something that’s been great. There has been not one shed of wise counsel who believes that there is any biblical reason to break up. But i can’t seem to shake the feeling. I search for reassurance constantly. I have searched for hundreds of articles about God’s voice or OCD or consequences of disobeying, and I feel paralyzed and am harming the relationship that has so much potential to be amazing if I could let this go. But i love God and want to obey. Can anyone help with this??

I'm schizophrenic and deal with hallucinations and voices which appear to be God to me, but are manifestations of my own psyche.

If you're receiving manifestations of your own psyche (thoughts or feelings), then you must ask yourself this: why is the voice telling me to break up.

You seem to like the relationship, then the voice may be self defeating thoughts.

I think you should look into self defeating thoughts. Like "do I think I deserve happiness in life?". And address that with a counselor of psychology. If you have no counselor you can look up online about self defeating thoughts and feelings.

That's my suggestion.

I don't believe God would tell you who to date or who not to date: 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

 

[Roidecoeur78]

What you speak of has been a recurring experience throughout my life in this world. Just because modern medical science has come up with checklists and diagnostic terms for how and why a conscience or soul is affected by experience, doesn't make the spiritual reality any less emphatic. And the only way it makes sense on a personal and spiritual level is if we remember that God is a jealous God in regards to His people. He has not tolerated my making concessions and commitments to, or by seeking to enjoy, this world at all, at any time. I have had to pay dearly in discipline for every physical "relationship" outside of marriage I've pursued, in the hopes of it leading to marriage, even though it has become pretty much expected by today's standards that people should "try each other out" first. The number of such relationships I can count on one hand, but one thing I have become sure of is the Lord does not endorse the world's way, let alone today's standards. Every time I have sought familial relationships over staying faithful to Him, it has also not ended well. There is a reason Jesus says "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.".

Eventually I had to realize that no amount of my desiring something was going to make it right in His eyes, or somehow change His desire for me. That the only way I, or anyone, can have peace is to let go of what the self wants, and conform to "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." and that can only be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. I try not to do anything now unless the Holy Spirit moves me to, and if I'm being moved to indulge in sins like physical indulgence or pleasure then I know it is not the Holy Spirit that's wanting it but the natural urges we are supposed to resist.

"for if you are living according to the [impulses of the] flesh, you are going to die. But if [you are living] by the [power of the Holy] Spirit you are habitually putting to death the sinful deeds of the body, you will [really] live forever." Romans 8:13

Also, regarding familial relations, Jesus quotes Micah 7:6 with "Do not assume that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘A man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household." Matthew 10:35

 

[BeftEv]

Thanks for your input but i never spoke of sex before marriage, so this isn’t the same because I’m a virgin. My boyfriend and I do all we can to honor God in our relationship. Also, mercy triumphs over judgement and God isn’t out to smite people who mess up. Sometimes my OCD tells me that. But if we served a vengeful God who was constantly out to get us when we messed up, why would Jesus come? He already took that on Himself. There’s a difference between discipline and punishment. He disciplines those He loves, but punishment is not necessary because Jesus already took our punishment for us. Discipline draws us closer and makes us more like Jesus, punishment pushes us away (ie God forsaking Jesus so He wouldn’t have to forsake us). Discipline isn’t something that makes us “pay dearly” because Jesus already purchased us. We no longer have to pay for anything. Praise God. Discipline corrects our character and makes us more like Jesus. Also, that verse doesn’t apply to my situation with my mom. OCD told me, “if you don’t do this, that means you hate your mom, therefore you’re a terrible person.” That verse relates to no other relationship coming close to how much we love Christ. And if following Christ means leaving those we love, so be it. It doesn’t mean that my uncontrolled thoughts about her are biblical or of the Spirit. I don’t love my mom more than i love Christ, however....i don’t believe those unnecessary, intrusive thoughts are of the Spirit. It’s nit sinful to desire a relationship. God created us for community and for deep relationship. Yes, we love Christ more than anything to the point where our love for anyone else doesn’t compare. But this does not relate to my situation. There is a lot of assumption of major idolatry and sexual sin which I never mentioned.

 

[steelcityd]

Thanks for your input but i never spoke of sex before marriage, so this isn’t the same because I’m a virgin. My boyfriend and I do all we can to honor God in our relationship. Also, mercy triumphs over judgement and God isn’t out to smite people who mess up. Sometimes my OCD tells me that. But if we served a vengeful God who was constantly out to get us when we messed up, why would Jesus come? He already took that on Himself. There’s a difference between discipline and punishment. He disciplines those He loves, but punishment is not necessary because Jesus already took our punishment for us. Discipline draws us closer and makes us more like Jesus, punishment pushes us away (ie God forsaking Jesus so He wouldn’t have to forsake us). Discipline isn’t something that makes us “pay dearly” because Jesus already purchased us. We no longer have to pay for anything. Praise God. Discipline corrects our character and makes us more like Jesus. Also, that verse doesn’t apply to my situation with my mom. OCD told me, “if you don’t do this, that means you hate your mom, therefore you’re a terrible person.” That verse relates to no other relationship coming close to how much we love Christ. And if following Christ means leaving those we love, so be it. It doesn’t mean that my uncontrolled thoughts about her are biblical or of the Spirit. I don’t love my mom more than i love Christ, however....i don’t believe those unnecessary, intrusive thoughts are of the Spirit. It’s nit sinful to desire a relationship. God created us for community and for deep relationship. Yes, we love Christ more than anything to the point where our love for anyone else doesn’t compare. But this does not relate to my situation. There is a lot of assumption of major idolatry and sexual sin which I never mentioned.

Amen Sista! I would even add here that there are many awesome Christian relationships (and people who are now married) that have experienced "slip ups" in regard to sexual sin, but that does not mean or require that the relationship be altogether dissolved. Rather, repentance and renewed commitment to purity with accountability can promote much growth towards Godliness... I say this because I think those who struggle with OCD also tend to struggle big time with black and white thinking as it relates to one's search for absolute certainty. Hmm... Could God have brought this person into my life knowing that we are both imperfect and flawed human beings, but that we would both help each other progress towards holiness... Just sayin'

 

[Roidecoeur78]

Thanks for your input but i never spoke of sex before marriage, so this isn’t the same because I’m a virgin. My boyfriend and I do all we can to honor God in our relationship. Also, mercy triumphs over judgement and God isn’t out to smite people who mess up. Sometimes my OCD tells me that. But if we served a vengeful God who was constantly out to get us when we messed up, why would Jesus come? He already took that on Himself. There’s a difference between discipline and punishment. He disciplines those He loves, but punishment is not necessary because Jesus already took our punishment for us. Discipline draws us closer and makes us more like Jesus, punishment pushes us away (ie God forsaking Jesus so He wouldn’t have to forsake us). Discipline isn’t something that makes us “pay dearly” because Jesus already purchased us. We no longer have to pay for anything. Praise God. Discipline corrects our character and makes us more like Jesus. Also, that verse doesn’t apply to my situation with my mom. OCD told me, “if you don’t do this, that means you hate your mom, therefore you’re a terrible person.” That verse relates to no other relationship coming close to how much we love Christ. And if following Christ means leaving those we love, so be it. It doesn’t mean that my uncontrolled thoughts about her are biblical or of the Spirit. I don’t love my mom more than i love Christ, however....i don’t believe those unnecessary, intrusive thoughts are of the Spirit. It’s nit sinful to desire a relationship. God created us for community and for deep relationship. Yes, we love Christ more than anything to the point where our love for anyone else doesn’t compare. But this does not relate to my situation. There is a lot of assumption of major idolatry and sexual sin which I never mentioned.

No, I wasn't saying you had done those things. I have done those things, and found out eventually, through trial and error, I was not allowed to behave as the world does. But, according to the word, even just thinking about it is the same as doing it Matthew 5:28. When the rich young ruler asked what he needed to do to get into heaven Jesus replied "obey the commandments", Jesus didn't say 'I have obeyed the commandments for you, so that will get you into heaven as long as you claim to believe in me'; then he followed up by telling the young man he had to give up the one thing where he hadn't been obedient (valuing physical comfort and indulgence more than a relationship with his Creator), all those other ways he had been obedient wouldn't get him there. It is the difference between the religion(s) people build up around the written word, and the living Word Himself. If a person has really been called out to be separate from the world and its' ways then they will not be able to live as the world does, neither in thought nor word nor action, and they will be disciplined for doing so. But if they haven't actually been called out, but it is religion they are worshiping, then they get to think, and live, and do as they please, while saying Jesus has saved them because He already did everything expected for them.

That being said, the scripture does differentiate between levels of faith, so what is allowable or not to one believer may not be the same as for another, depending on where a person is at as far is being faithful is concerned.

 

[Mari17]

Hello!

I’m new here, but I see several people struggling with similar things as me. I’ve dealt with OCD tendencies my entire life. I didn’t know it was OCD for years and years (probably close to 15 years). It always seems to attack what I love the most. As a kid, it attacked the relationship I had with my mom. In the past, I obsessed over being fearful I was a lesbian (now I know I’m not and it was an obsession). Being older, it has seemed to attack my relationship with God and my faith. in college, I was totally distraught that I thought I had Blasphemed the Holy Spirit and I was terrified. My prayer was “God I know you can’t forgive me for this, but I’m sorry anyways.” It was awful. Now I’m dating someone I love so, so much. Hey He’s growing in his faith daily. But I feel like God is beating me over the head demanding I break up with him. I’ve always struggled with being obsessive over decision making (even if the options are two good things and neither choice is bad). I’ve dated people in the past who I knew the chemistry simply wasn’t there and i had small thoughts of “well what if this is what God wants.” Now that I’m in a relationship I’m passionate about, I just feel so fearful day in and day out that God is demanding I end it. I would hate to disobey because i love God. But I would hate to end something that’s been great. There has been not one shed of wise counsel who believes that there is any biblical reason to break up. But i can’t seem to shake the feeling. I search for reassurance constantly. I have searched for hundreds of articles about God’s voice or OCD or consequences of disobeying, and I feel paralyzed and am harming the relationship that has so much potential to be amazing if I could let this go. But i love God and want to obey. Can anyone help with this??

Sounds very much like OCD! And it sounds like you know a lot about how OCD works! Are you getting any professional help for this? I think it's important to identify your compulsions, and work on reducing them. Compulsions can be things like researching, seeking reassurance, ruminating, etc. It sounds like the first two might be compulsions for you, so those are the things you would work on reducing more and more. I'm pressed for time now but can definitely go into more detail if you like. I know how you feel, because I've had SO many scrupulous obsessions over the years!! But it's possible to keep working on our minds so we can live in victory!

 

[BeftEv]

Mari17, yeah I’d love to hear more! I also read that OCD can give you a solid gut feeling but it can take the uneasiness too far? Is that true? Should we end things because I feel uneasy about it but the OCD part comes in when I start to feel a brain spiral (if we get married, then we are disobeying, then we’ll have to get divorced, then my life will be ruined....). Idk. I love him to death and he’s been so supportive. But I want to obey God. I’ve even asked God a million times if he doesn’t want us together to please show me outside of a weird feeling within myself that could be OCD....and all I get is people telling me they see no red flags, the Bible only gives a few guidelines that he meets,so it’s not disobedience. I’ve also been going through Ecclesiastes and I read where it said “why are you depriving yourself of enjoyment?” which I thought was very interesting to come across when I’m struggling. Facts aren’t matching up with these cray cray feelings.

 

[Mari17]

I hear you! OCD really likes to try to confuse us. In my opinion, breaking up with your boyfriend would be the wrong choice, because it's what the OCD wants you to do. Every time you do what the OCD wants, you make it stronger. So, even though it's super hard, it's important to NOT do what the OCD wants. Don't ruin a good relationship just because of OCD! One thing that may help is to release the need to be "perfectly" happy in this. Because of the OCD, you're going to worry. And that's OK. It's OK to feel anxious. Give yourself permission to feel worried and not be perfectly at ease in this relationship. But don't do what the OCD wants.

If you have more questions or want to talk about this more, feel free. But for now, here are some of my favorite OCD-fighting resources. Hopefully I haven't shared them with you already - I feel like I'm always posting links!
http://ocdandchristianity.com/ (esp. the blog posts)
https://noiseinyourhead.com/free-video-series/
Welcome
And if I haven't asked you already, feel free to join the FB group "Christianity and Anxiety Disorders." I'm part of it, and it's pretty helpful.

Hope this helps!

 

[Littlemole19]

Hey!
I know I'm a little late to this, but I'm wondering how you're doing now.
I'm going through something very similar. I have never noticed having OCD tendencies before until I started feeling like God telling me to leave my boyfriend. It's been happening for 2 months now and has completely consumed me. I spend hours on end reading articles over and over again going back and forth making myself sick to my stomach. When I feel these thoughts to leave my boyfriend, everything goes dark like there is no peace. I love God too and want to obey Him, but through this, I've become fearful of Him in the sense that He is so displeased with me unless I listen. I called a break with my boyfriend very recently, and I still feel this cloud over me every time I even think of the possibility of him and I getting back together, as if I'm not even allowed to think about this person anymore.

 

[scott P]

Littlemole19, I struggled with this for the longest time too. Feeling guilt over dating. My wife and I eventually married 6 months ago and it has been incredible. I’d encourage you to stick with it. Make sure others agree with you as to whatever decision you end up making.

I totally get the desire to please God, and fear you are disobeying Him, or not listening to His Spirit. I still struggle with this, just now on other issues. It’s so difficult to discern if it’s OCD, or God.

 

[Mari17]

Hey!
I know I'm a little late to this, but I'm wondering how you're doing now.
I'm going through something very similar. I have never noticed having OCD tendencies before until I started feeling like God telling me to leave my boyfriend. It's been happening for 2 months now and has completely consumed me. I spend hours on end reading articles over and over again going back and forth making myself sick to my stomach. When I feel these thoughts to leave my boyfriend, everything goes dark like there is no peace. I love God too and want to obey Him, but through this, I've become fearful of Him in the sense that He is so displeased with me unless I listen. I called a break with my boyfriend very recently, and I still feel this cloud over me every time I even think of the possibility of him and I getting back together, as if I'm not even allowed to think about this person anymore.

This is a common type of obsession for Christians, I think. Are you able to get any help for your OCD? It's important to treat the OCD itself, since it will keep popping up with different themes even if you do "solve" one. It's not the issue itself that's the problem, it's the OCD, which causes us to feel like there are issues even when there aren't.

 

[LsYates]

I wish I saw this months ago. I deal with the exact same issue. I have also had OCD all of my life and it attacks the things I love most. Yesterday I proposed to my girlfriend and after I did had the thought "this isn't right", I then labeled it as an intrusive thought. I know it's hard but you are not alone. It takes a lot of work to manage OCD but you can do it. I hope the last few months have been good to you.