ocd 1 and ocd 2

[Kostilaks]

I pray to the Generic God due to ocd who is different than Christian. Due to ocd, i was doing a tiring compulsion in my pc. it was a compulsion that I needed to be alert in some specific seconds in order not to ruin it. i was doing the compulsion because ocd was like ocd: do not do it the normal way what you are trying to do. do it in a specific way and be alert not to ruin it because you may have made a promise to the Generic God. I never made a promise but i was worried. if i was failing to do the compulsion, ocd was telling me to restart again and if i got the compulsion right, ocd was telling me i may have made an error and that i may have to start again because maybe it will be a mockery to the Generic God . so ocd was telling me to start again just to be sure and to prove i am doing the compulsion right. at that moment, ocd reminded me of an old ocd compulsion that it did not allow me to prove to the Generic God what i am doing it. that made me relieved cause i did not have to restart the compulsion. and that happened for many days and every time ocd was teling me to restart ocd 2 was telling me not to and thag relieved me. til i was between 2 ocd compulsions. i had to do ocd 1 or ocd 2. i did ocd 1 and ocd 2 was giving me worries that i did not do the ocd compulsion which was not to restart. and i restarted. i know all of these are thoughts without my will. both ocd 1 and ocd 2 but... many times it happened, and even though i knew they were thoughts without my will, a part of my ocd was using an ocd 2 as an excuse to force me to relieve myself from the tiring compulsion for a moment, only to try to trap me later. why i worry? 1) how can i be sure that they are thoughts without my will? it happened many times, but how can i be sure? 2) what if they were thoughts without my will with ocd that they were trying to free me only to trap me later, and since i was happy and felt relieved about it, maybe my ocd tells me ocd: what if the Generic God made those ocd compulsions-promises valid? Just because they calmed you down? just because you felt relieved? are you sure thet were thoughts without your will? please answer me these 2 questions.