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Obsession about not being forgive by God

Ribosome

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First 3 years of my OCD were filled with the obsession "What if God does not exist?" That obsession is over now, although it comes back for short periods of time sometimes. I have a lot of obsessions, they can be about lots of things, but the ones that take up most of my time are perfectionism obsessions and obsessions about being sure of finished things (like closed doors, mailed emails, correct math calculations etc.)

But my question is about this spiritual obsession of constantly fearing that I am not forgiven by God. It is very debilitating, almost as bad as the obsession of God's existence. I can't feel at peace and joyful and secure in salvation when I constantly have this obsession that my sins are not forgiven. This is a major obsession of mine at the moment and has been since the obsession of God's existence has left.

I read articles about how God removes our sins from his presence forever once we trust Jesus and his finished work. I read them over and over trying to reassure myself of the gospel but it just does not work. The more I try to reassure myself the more fearful I get. Sometimes the reassurance works, and I get filled with peace and assurance that all my sins are forgiven and I am a child of God now, but right when I experience that peace I get those obsessive thoughts coming at me again. To try to ward them off, I try to keep preaching to myself the gospel over and over to stop them, but it slips out of my mind and is replaced by fear and doubt again and again. Basically, seconds after I am filled with the peace and joy and a worshipful heart of joy, the obsessive thought of not being forgiven slips in again and again and destroys that peace, crippling me spiritually. This is devastating to me... I cannot live at peace knowing that all my sin is forgiven. I feel like a hypocrite going to church, like I'm not even saved, and I avoid contact with other Christians because my heart is full of fear and not of overflowing with peace and assurance of God's love and forgiveness of me.

I just don't know how to deal with this.

I copied and pasted sooo many quotes about God's grace and forgiveness, and I constantly keep looking for newer better ones trying to reassure myself, but it pretty much hardly ever works, and when it does work, the obsessive thoughts sneak back in seconds after they leave.

Also, I feel that the obsession keeps me from being able to understand those quotes. When I try to read the quotes with the tension of the obsession still in my head, I don't understand what I read. It's like a mental block and nothing I try to learn gets into my brain.

I don't know who to go to for help. Do any of you have any advice about how I could get this obsessional fear from constantly sneaking into my head?
 

drjean

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:hug: Reading God's Word is a good thing that you are doing...copying and pasting special verses to read. In that we would all do well to read over and over. :) Do you have any that reminds you that God's Word is true, that He is Truth? Maybe approaching it with that too, will help you find that assurance in the verses you already have?
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amaui

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Its gonna take a bit of prayer and faith to get past these condemning thought. The bible clearly says that if you confess your sin God will forgive you. That means when you agree to Him that you sinned, admit it, and repent, He will forgive you immediately. He won't just forgive you, he'll wash you clean, cover your transgression, and remember them no more. That means He will never ever hold them against you again. He is NOT a liar, and as the bible says, so it is. You'll be forgiven.

Now that you know after you confess your forgiven, try not to repeat that sin. But when you've confessed and been cleased, and condemnation comes up, dont buy into it. Its our enemy's tactic to make God's mercy and grace seem like a lie. He forgives you. Dont accept those thoughts, ever. Trust your Father in all things he never goes against his word. Ignore the enemy's lies in your head and ocd thoughts and all fear. GOD WONT CONDEMN YOU OR PEST YOU ABOUT SINS YOU'VE CONFESSED.But sometimes he may ask you to change you ways to prevent sin. The following are not from God:

fear
condemnation
excessive guilt
accussations
condemning thoughts
ocd thoughts

so you should ignore them all and bring them up in prayer. God bless you.
 
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Enahs4Him

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These verses have helped me with fears like that. I hope they are encouraging to you also.

Agreed HallowMan.
For a person like me and with the fear of the "unpardonable sin". 1 John 1:9 and John 6:37 has given me great comfort!
Another one is:
2 Timothy 4:18- " And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!:amen:
 
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dabro

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We as christians always want that high. That peace that go's beyond any understanding. But we start to lose sight of what we are really supposed to do and thats to reach out to the unsaved and grab them from the fire. Where supposed to be fire fighters. And when you You get tangled up in feeling good this is where you start to lose it. It was for me anyways!
 
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Enahs4Him

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We as christians always want that high. That peace that go's beyond any understanding. But we start to lose sight of what we are really supposed to do and thats to reach out to the unsaved and grab them from the fire. Where supposed to be fire fighters. And when you You get tangled up in feeling good this is where you start to lose it. It was for me anyways!

Agreed, Dabro. But one can still win souls and have that joy! I know the more joy I have the more that radiates and draws others to Jesus!:)
 
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Enahs4Him

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Thank you so much for that verse songofsolomon72. I really needed to hear that one tonight. Thanks for your encouragement.

Be blessed HollowMan. That's what we're here for, to help lift up our brothers and sisters in Christ. :)
 
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Laura Jetel

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First 3 years of my OCD were filled with the obsession "What if God does not exist?" That obsession is over now, although it comes back for short periods of time sometimes. I have a lot of obsessions, they can be about lots of things, but the ones that take up most of my time are perfectionism obsessions and obsessions about being sure of finished things (like closed doors, mailed emails, correct math calculations etc.)

But my question is about this spiritual obsession of constantly fearing that I am not forgiven by God. It is very debilitating, almost as bad as the obsession of God's existence. I can't feel at peace and joyful and secure in salvation when I constantly have this obsession that my sins are not forgiven. This is a major obsession of mine at the moment and has been since the obsession of God's existence has left.

I read articles about how God removes our sins from his presence forever once we trust Jesus and his finished work. I read them over and over trying to reassure myself of the gospel but it just does not work. The more I try to reassure myself the more fearful I get. Sometimes the reassurance works, and I get filled with peace and assurance that all my sins are forgiven and I am a child of God now, but right when I experience that peace I get those obsessive thoughts coming at me again. To try to ward them off, I try to keep preaching to myself the gospel over and over to stop them, but it slips out of my mind and is replaced by fear and doubt again and again. Basically, seconds after I am filled with the peace and joy and a worshipful heart of joy, the obsessive thought of not being forgiven slips in again and again and destroys that peace, crippling me spiritually. This is devastating to me... I cannot live at peace knowing that all my sin is forgiven. I feel like a hypocrite going to church, like I'm not even saved, and I avoid contact with other Christians because my heart is full of fear and not of overflowing with peace and assurance of God's love and forgiveness of me.

I just don't know how to deal with this.

I copied and pasted sooo many quotes about God's grace and forgiveness, and I constantly keep looking for newer better ones trying to reassure myself, but it pretty much hardly ever works, and when it does work, the obsessive thoughts sneak back in seconds after they leave.

Also, I feel that the obsession keeps me from being able to understand those quotes. When I try to read the quotes with the tension of the obsession still in my head, I don't understand what I read. It's like a mental block and nothing I try to learn gets into my brain.

I don't know who to go to for help. Do any of you have any advice about how I could get this obsessional fear from constantly sneaking into my head?
 
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Laura Jetel

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HI there...I just came across your post from Sept. 5 2012. It describes what my 25 year old is paralyzed with right now perfectly. He is being treated as if its bipolar with Depakote and and an antipsychotic med. He is getting worse. Please let me know what helped you, and I pray that you are free of these thoughts now. Thank you. Feel free to email me at Laurajetel@yahoo.com, as I am not sure I will see your response in this forum, as I never respond in platforms like this. thank you very much. Laura
 
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Mari17

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HI there...I just came across your post from Sept. 5 2012. It describes what my 25 year old is paralyzed with right now perfectly. He is being treated as if its bipolar with Depakote and and an antipsychotic med. He is getting worse. Please let me know what helped you, and I pray that you are free of these thoughts now. Thank you. Feel free to email me at Laurajetel@yahoo.com, as I am not sure I will see your response in this forum, as I never respond in platforms like this. thank you very much. Laura
Has your son been tested for mental disorders such as OCD? I'm not familiar with other disorders besides OCD, but I'm assuming it could be mistaken for other mental illnesses.
 
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