Numbness and scrupulosity?

[Ajoj]

Just had an ending to a weird relationship with a girl that meant and still means a lot, felt a lot of pain because of it, like pain in heart.
Last few days i dont feel anything, like numbnes, no anger, no happines, no anything, like my heart or soul cant produce emotions.
Also i feel like i didnt have good confession, like if i dont say everything 100 percent on confession, i dont feel in peace. I read this is called scrupulosity.
Did anyone had those problems, any advices how to deal with it?

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

Just had an ending to a weird relationship with a girl that meant and still means a lot, felt a lot of pain because of it, like pain in heart.
Last few days i dont feel anything, like numbnes, no anger, no happines, no anything, like my heart or soul cant produce emotions.
Also i feel like i didnt have good confession, like if i dont say everything 100 percent on confession, i dont feel in peace. I read this is called scrupulosity.
Did anyone had those problems, any advices how to deal with it?

Probably just situational and time will take care of it.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Just had an ending to a weird relationship with a girl that meant and still means a lot, felt a lot of pain because of it, like pain in heart.
Last few days i dont feel anything, like numbnes, no anger, no happines, no anything, like my heart or soul cant produce emotions.
Also i feel like i didnt have good confession, like if i dont say everything 100 percent on confession, i dont feel in peace. I read this is called scrupulosity.
Did anyone had those problems, any advices how to deal with it?

I recall hearing one of the stages of grieving is like numbness, like there's no reaction at all.
.
The body may be numbing out the pain (and therefore everything else) because it's too much to handle right now, but it is there.
.
I recommend to ensure you have people to talk to about this and to let your emotions return on their own.

 

[Ajoj]

Thanks guys, I talked to a priest, but that part about a girl, he was like get over it, and that was all. Its hard to talk to somebody else right now, for a moment i think i should, than after a moment a decide not to.
Does anyone have scrupulosity problem? I think its contributing to my numbness, i want to get rid of it, anyone had sucess?

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

Thanks guys, I talked to a priest, but that part about a girl, he was like get over it, and that was all. Its hard to talk to somebody else right now, for a moment i think i should, than after a moment a decide not to.
Does anyone have scrupulosity problem? I think its contributing to my numbness, i want to get rid of it, anyone had sucess?

Well of course, one could say "that was all" but one must acknowledge that is easier said than done. But there is a cure. Alas, the only cure is to let the time pass that needs to pass.

 

[Ajoj]

Man i installled program called Odin, and installed my android firmware with it, Odin was name of some pagan god. Now i feel like i did something wrong, like i cant have mobile that has system installed with program named Odin, and that is a sin. I believe that is scrupulosity. Its bothering me and it sucks. Is this scrupulosity?

 

[SilvaMay]

I've had scrupulosity for many years and yes, what you discribed sounds like a scrupulosity or at least tendencies to scrupulosity.

About the Odin issue. You know that it is only a name which can be used even in our times. You don't consider Odin your god. You know it was only fictional character. You didn't name it that way and didnt choose it to worship the pagan god. Like, if you would have a friend with that name you wouldn't unfriend him for his name. If you would have doubts about it, just don't listen to them. Don't respond to them, ignore them. I know that I'm telling you. The more attention you will give them, the more they will bother you (it is psychological thing). Therefore, when they come, ignore them and put yourself in the loving presence of God. These thoughts will be coming to you, trying to bother you and take away your peace. Their purpose is most of all to take away your eyes from God so you would focus on this "maybe sin". When you would start feeling guilty for this, give it to God. Tell Him immediately how it bothers you and that you don't want to offend Him by using this system. Your goal is to give it fully to God and surrender to Him. Realize how much He loves you. He knows that you want to love Him too. Also, check your image of Him. Scrupulous people tend to see God as commander or a judge who is always watching them and waiting for when He will have oportunity to punish them. Live our religion as a close relationship between you and God.

Issue with confession is also very common. I struggle with this too. First of all, think for a moment if there is a reason for the feeling of bad confession. If yes talk about it with your confessor. In examining of conscience, I found it helpful to look at it like a relationship and ask myself: how did I offend/hurt God? How did I offend/hurt people around me? How did I hurt myself? Answers to these are the sins I tell in confession, plus I'll check it with list of the capital sins, with Ten Commandments and one or two official examinations to see if I didn't miss something. However, confession is sacrament so I don't feel competent to advise much about this. Find a confessor you fully trust, who would accept you. In next confession, feel free to tell him about your doubts and struggles. Don't be ashamed or hesitant about being honest about these things. In the recent confession it was for the first time when I came out openly with scrupulosity and all doubts and I was very nicely surprised. The confessor was very kind and reacted as if he already knew what it's like and gave me great advices and guidance.

Finding good and regular confessor is really most efficient thing you can do. Scrupulosity (if not stopped) leads to very bad and dangerous situations in spiritual life. The regular confessor will know you and your state and would guide you when your conscience won't work properly and after some time, he will guide you out of scrupulosity.

There is also the bulletin called Scrupulous Anonymous. Maybe it would give you bit of a help.

Also the numbness, as mentioned above, it is natural reaction to the break up. You can't just get over it. It needs time, but it will heal for sure. Give it to God. Talk to Him about this situation, ask Him for healing and also pray for your ex-girlfriend, if you'll be able to. It may help.

Gonna pray for you, man. Have blessed day and Merry Christmas!!!

 

[Ajoj]

First of all thanks a lot for your message!
The numbness part is "killing" me.
It last for like more than a month, i just want to go on with my life, but i cant feel anything, its hard to stay away from sin, its hard to pray, its hard to go to church, its hard to do confession, its hard to enjoy stuff i enjoyed before, like watching sports, or stuff on tv that i like, i need to do stuff like find a job, but that is hard to do in this situation, and with all that i have bronchitis, so i need to stay home for few days, so its very hard experience right now.
Thanks a lot for support and prayers, i will pray for you too...

 

[SilvaMay]

This seems like you might need someone to help you get out of the numbness. Try creating new thread only about numbness. This part of the forum is good, but you may want to try "Depression Disorders" or "General Mental Health" part. Anyway there are people with some experiences, it may just take some time for these parts of forum aren't visited as often as the other ones.

It might be helpful to read some articles or forums about numbness etc. or watch some videos on youtube (which you maybe already did...I'm just saying it may help). Lately there are many people sharing their experiences with mental health issues. It might be helpful to seek some (catholic) therapist or psychologist (maybe some free online services when you are not very healthy now) so you could talk about the issues with someone who knows what he's doing and knows exactly how to help you.

But please keep in mind that I am not a profesional or therapist or anything like that. I'm just guessing what could help.

 

[Ajoj]

I talked to few priest that i know, and they helped me some with scrupulosity, but not with numbness.
But that would mean i have mental health issues, and i dont want to accept that, especially i dont want to drink meds i see myself as normal guy, and i see this as situation that eventually i will get out of.
I can do things that i need to do, its just that is hard, its that i dont find joy in things i used to find, so i fight throught it and use my mind only to make decisions.
I know you are not proffesional offcourse,
And maybe you are right in your opinion about my situation, you probably are.

 

[Antig]

Scrupelosity is something a lot of us suffer from. At least it shows you love God and hate sin.

Now, as for sinning, it can be like a never ending circle. Sometimes we keep sinning and repenting.

I went to confession today. It was wonderful. Yet, i still felt sad afterwards knowing that i will probably sin again soon. I told my priest that and he said that we are human and weak. Most important thing is that we confess and get forgiven. God knows our weaknesses.

I fail at prayer and church etc. I stayed away for many years.

Praying can be difficult for me. I aim to do better. Always!

As for your feelings at the moment I would suggest you see your doctor. Not for meds but for advice. There are others ways to get help without meds.

I hope you find peace.

 

[SilvaMay]

I talked to few priest that i know, and they helped me some with scrupulosity, but not with numbness.
But that would mean i have mental health issues, and i dont want to accept that, especially i dont want to drink meds i see myself as normal guy, and i see this as situation that eventually i will get out of.
I can do things that i need to do, its just that is hard, its that i dont find joy in things i used to find, so i fight throught it and use my mind only to make decisions.

I'm very happy to hear, that you got help with scrupulosity.

I agree with Antig. Doctor would give you advice for sure. There are other ways he'd be able to help you. He should know the best how to help you.

 

[Ajoj]

Marry Christmas to both of you, and others that posted!

 

[Ajoj]

Did anyone with scrupulosity used that technique where you accept some thoughts as scrupulosity and dont confess it, or use it in another way, considering what type of scrupulosity you have, and when bad feelings like anxiety comes, you just accept its there, live with it, and it will be lesser and lesser with time? Anyone had sucess?
Scrupulosity is annoying, really want to get rid of it!