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Nothing Matters Anymore...

Discussion in 'Oncology (Cancer Support)' started by StormSpotter, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. StormSpotter

    StormSpotter New Member

    United States
    I used to be a "weather geek." I was always staying informed on severe weather, keeping my friends and loved ones current on dangerous weather that was headed their way. I even got my Technician Class Amateur Radio License as a requirement for doing emergency communications work at the local National Weather Service office. It's the only reason I got the license in the first place. I enjoyed it because I felt as though what I was doing actually mattered, and contributed to the greater good. In addition, I learned about the science of Meteorology, studying the forecast models, learning how to read the scientific values and translate them into a valid forecast. I also learned how to be an Advanced-Level National Weather Service Certified Severe Storm Spotter to help protect my community. I really enjoyed this activity.

    Then, Leukemia happened.

    Now, I barely follow the weather anymore.

    I've been an avid fan of Alabama football for as long as I can remember. I never missed a Bama game on TV if I could help it. I've even been privileged to have watched a game on the sidelines with the team, gone to the locker room with the team after the game, and been to spring practice with the team on Media Day, all at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Coach Gene Stallings and I were the last two people to leave the field at Bryant-Denny Stadium that day at spring practice, as he talked with me about where I was from. It doesn't get any better for a Bama fan. I have PROUDLY bled Crimson for years. Orange and Blue is NOT in my veins.

    I haven't even seen a Bama game on TV this year, let alone been back to BDS.

    All because Leukemia happened.

    I just had my 16th anniversary as a Corrections Officer. When I started this job, I felt as though what I was doing really meant something. I felt like what I did for my living really did matter. I felt like I actually made a difference in the lives of those with whom I had contact, both the detainees and their families. I enjoyed being a role model for young people, and carrying on the family tradition of serving as a Law Enforcement Officer.

    Then, Leukemia happened.

    Now, nothing matters at work anymore.

    I didn't become a Christian until late in my teenage years. It took an almost-deadly head-on collision with an 18-wheeler to get my attention. However, when God gave me this horrible disease, I began to question what I believe and why I believe it. As a result, I simply cannot any longer allow myself to believe that a loving God would allow something like an incurable cancer to ravage the body of someone who stood up for him for many years. It's as if my faith in him never even mattered in the first place. All of that time spent in devotion to him, all of that faithfulness given to a God whom I thought really cared for me, all of it was for naught. So frustrating is it to do all of that, only to get kicked in the teeth for doing "the right thing" for all of my adult life.

    I haven't the time nor the patience to believe in a God who would go so far as to pick me up from the brink of death, only to let me drop down to the bowels of hell, and never even have the time or inclination to answer me when I cry out to him for answers.

    And it's all because Leukemia happened.

    I have lived an amazing life, putting myself through college and graduating debt-free, and living my dream in all of the above areas.

    Then, Leukemia happened.

    That's what having a terminal disease does to you.

    Nothing worthwhile matters to me anymore.
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  2. Divide

    Divide Well-Known Member

    United States
    You got it wrong Brother. God did not do this to you. These are spiritual attacks on you and your life because you became a Christian. Does not the scripture say that you will suffer, be persecuted, and the world will turn on you. It's all part of the fulfillment of that scripture. But as we suffer, in Christ, we will also glory and reign, in Christ. This life means nothing. We have so much to look forward to!

    Don't become angry at God. Don't turn your back on Him. Rather run to Him and embrace Him. Ask for the grace needed to endure these things.

    Who knows, perhaps even God has allowed a little extra suffering to be put upon you, so that some suffering of one who is worse off may have enough of a better day to be able to turn their heart to the Lord? I've often wondered if God does this sort of thing. He just might.

    Every time I'm feeling down about something, I'll think about those in the world who are worse off. Like over in the middle east right now, there's people who have watched their family murdered and theirs homes destroyed and they wander homeless, refugees...And I think I have it bad?! Struggling for money and so forth, living in a teeny trailer which is far below anywhere I have ever been before. Then I realize, I'm rich. Compared to some. Paul taught us to learn to be content with our station in life, no matter what it may be. He used to rejoice having had the snot beat out of him for speaking the gospel!

    This life is but a vapor, over in a moment. You have a lot to look forward to.
  3. mozo41

    mozo41 Well-Known Member

    United Kingdom
    there is God and there is an image of GOD whom GOD brings us to the end of ...
  4. YHWH_will_uplift

    YHWH_will_uplift Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Remember what Job said to his wife: if we accept the good from God will we not also accept the evil which comes from Him? If you know you've done right by God without a doubt then this is simply an attack from Satan who wishes to overthrow your faith in God. And don't forget that disease and death entered into the world because of Adam and Eve's disobedience: therefore all the evil and sickness occurring today is a by product of our past human history in the garden of Eden. In the future though we have the reward from God to enter into His City and eat from the Tree of Life and live forever where we will never experience pain or suffering any longer.
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
  5. quatona

    quatona "God"? What do you mean??

    Yeah, Leukemia sucks.
    But I´m wondering...hadn´t you been aware of diseases, suffering and mortality until now?
    All the best! :)
  6. discipler7

    discipler7 Well-Known Member

    Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
    Some Christians are not aware of the message of ACTS.15:24-29,(cf; GALATIANS.2:9-14) where God has exempted new Gentile Christians from any law of Moses which is a burden, eg circumcision and kosher foods. But they are not exempted from any law which is not a burden, esp morality laws, eg the Ten Commandments(EXODUS.20), DEUT.18:9-14, LEV.10:9 & 18:22, etc.
    ... In comparison, new Jewish Christians are required by God to continue to keep Moses Law, as many as possible, because it is not a burden to them.

    Those "Christians" who wantonly or ignorantly commit sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking risk losing their salvation while suffering horribly for their sins, eg by cursing/blaspheming God/Jesus and die, like the wife of Job. Be warned by DEUT.28:15, JOB, 1COR.5:5 & 11:30, 1JOHN.5:16-19, HEBREWS.10:26-31, 1COR.6:9-11, REV.22:12-15, ie sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking have consequences - some may lead to a horrible early death(= risk losing salvation/faith) and some may not, eg convicted murderers are usually executed and traffic offenders only have to pay a fine.

    Being saved from hell after death rests solely on faith/trust/belief in Jesus as the Christ/Messiah/Savior.(JOHN.3:16, GALATIANS.2:16, eg LUKE.23:43)

    Chasing storms and fanboying over sports obsessively are likely against the laws of God. MATTHEW.25:31-46 says that Christians may indirectly serve God by proxy by financially supporting the Church, pastors, missionaries, etc.
    ... Acknowledgement of sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking and repentance may bring healing.

    Job was punished by God for sinning ignorantly by offering "insurance" offering to God, just in case his spoilt sons might commit sins and cause him to lose all his prosperity.(JOB.1:5 & 3:25, cf; EXODUS.20:5) Only a false God would test his people's faith by sending them a fatal terminal sickness.

    P S - Certain types of leukemia are auto-immune diseases, ie the body's immune system suddenly starts attacking its own organs(eg bone marrow), similar to cancer. There may be a spiritual cause to such diseases, like the story of Job.
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
  7. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    United States
    What I'm hearing is you accepted Jesus but living the life of and enjoying the things and setting your eyes on and basing your joy on the things of the world. God/Jesus is bigger than the world, set your eyes on Him, establish your Joy with him first and let the rest trickle down. We're just passing through here, our eternity is there with Him.

    So we can enjoy life here but know the source of our joy, the joy is not from here , this place is temporary, it's perishing. Our joy comes from above and it is an eternal joy. For All of us, these bodies we live in are temporary as well. So are football teams and weather stations, there is no eternal substance in them, nothing that feeds our eternal soul only the temporary flesh..

    I can't answer if God gave you a disease or the devil gave you a disease but the reality is now you have it, use it to set your eyes on the Lord. It certainly will test your faith as you are finding out, the ultimate way it will beat you is if it wins the faith battle not the flesh battle, because the flesh is already defeated disease or not, it's just a matter of time.. Don't let it steal your joy in the Lord.

    Incidentally, many do not come to the Lord, this life is all they ever knew,they put all their joy here and will perish. Their next life is torment for ever and ever and ever, never to end.
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
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  8. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

    United States
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2017
  9. quietbloke

    quietbloke Brother in Christ Supporter

    United Kingdom
    Illness can cause depression and lack of hope and we can say and do things that are not what we really believe but are brought about by our condition and the emotions resulting. I have suffered kidney cancer and recovered and also suffered prostate cancer and have gone through radiotherapy and hormone treatment. I am recovering. With God there is always hope however we may feel or whatever we are experiencing.
  10. Adstar

    Adstar Well-Known Member

    What if...

    Just what if God loved you so much that he gave you leukemia to give you an early mark from this world.. To bring you into his perfect eternal existence?

    Who knows what is in store for the land you live in in the next decade What if God is removing your from your land to save you from great destruction and suffering that is about to fall upon it?.

    What if God is blessing you by letting you know that your time on earth is short so you can say the loving things to the people who need to hear those things and you can seek to resolve the personal conflicts you have with others?

    How many people leave this world without any warning and never have the chance to say and do the things they will regret not saying and doing?

    Why do people love their lives in this fallen world so much tha tthey see it as a curse to be taken out of it?

    Stop loving this life StormSpotter ... Get an eternal perspective ASAP and turn to the LORD Jesus Christ..
  11. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

    :heart: (((hug)))
  12. peace2u

    peace2u Newbie

    My brother in Christ, as a fellow cancer sufferer, I know what you are going through. It is very difficult, and easy to harbor anger against fate, against the world, even against God. Whenever I go through those feelings, hard as it might be, I raise my eyes to Him, thank Him for the blessing of life for yet another day, and offer up my puny suffering for those who may be in worse shape. And, always, remember how meager my own suffering is in comparison with His on the Holy Cross. My prayers for you and your family.
  13. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    United Kingdom
    I am sorry for your leukemia.
    I am sorry that you feel that you've been kicked in the teeth and that everything is for nothing.

    May I say it is not all for nothing, as you yourself testify there is a God and there is a place called hell and a place called heaven.
    You have a ticket to heaven.

    Please talk to someone you trust about your feelings.
    They are perfectly natural.

    You don't mention whether you have a family, again please talk with them.

    Ultimatly we all will die.
    You have been given a brutal reminder.

    Again please talk to someone to help get your mind to accept what is happening.

    We all have a choice to trust God when life kicks us in the teeth or not to trust him.
  14. Divide

    Divide Well-Known Member

    United States
    That's not how it happened at all. God was bragging on Job, because Job was righteous. He didn't live a life of sin and he helped the poor and strangers. Then Satan began accusing saying it's only because you've made him so rich. So God allowed Job to be put upon, but God didn't do it. God knew that He had the power to replace everything for Job (and did). I bet Job says it was worth it.