I can not comprehend why I am what I am. I know that I never made myself, nor do I own this body I have been trapped with in this world. I have not failed in seeking out the creator who gave me this existence, in asking the right questions of how one must be what it must be.
I cannot go any further into the madness of it all, because
You can't.
And the truth is that all the things we believe in, are but a lie.
It's what I'll die for in the end.
so ... you state you believe in creation and acknowledge the creator gave you your existence. So what are each of us to do with that existence? Each were created for a purpose ... what is man's purpose?
Micah 6:8
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
and ... all struggle in doing that ... but that is not to say we are not to pursue it.
Jesus is our perfect example of walking humbly with God. We are not to look for perfection in each other ... because no man does good.
Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Every day we should be learning/perusing how to walk humbly with God ... it is an individual pursuit and we all experience successes and failures along the way ... throughout our entire lives here on earth.
2nd Corinthians 13:5
Good News Translation
Put yourselves to the test and judge yourselves, to find out whether you are living in faith. Surely you know that Christ Jesus is in you?--unless you have completely failed.
Without Christ we will completely fail.
Philippians 3:14
New Living Translation
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
so ... we press forward to walk humbly with Jesus our Lord ... and certainly we make a lot of mistakes along the way.
Philippians 1:6
New Living Translation
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
so ... each of are to examine ourselves ... and ask the question ... Am I pressing forward?