Not sure what God wants for me and my friend

[Dontdosadness]

Hello! I have an issue, but let me preface it by saying my life is really amazing and I really do appreciate the people I have and the love I am given by God.

There's this situation that's been eating up my thoughts and I don't think it's any coincidence. I have been praying since middle school for a best friend/companion to come into my life. There have been a few times where I thought someone was that person, but the relationship didn't work because they weren't as focused on Jesus as I am. So, this year I made friends with someone and they're a really devoted Christian. Our friendship grew to the point where I could be myself around them very fast. It was a feeling I'd never had with anyone else. It was so perfect. It was exactly what I was looking for, but it seemed to good to be true. After a while, I started to notice this friend was having a lot of social anxiety. I could tell they were so happy being my friend, but they wanted everyone to appreciate them just as much. They said some things that I misinterpreted as they didn't want me around anymore so I gave them space. They asked why after about a week and when I told them, they were apologizing and saying they wanted to rebuild our friendship. The next day I spoke with them and they said that I was overdramatic and caused way to much stress for them. So we got into some arguments and then we exchanged apologies. I slowly started to not give the situation much thought.

Second semester started and they once again did not like me. I tried interacting a few times, but they were not having it. It made me think a lot about them and I started to pray a lot for them. A few weeks ago we had a meeting with our team that was very heart wrenching and I was crying. After it was over, they told me they were sorry about everything and I was so happy because I thought maybe we could be close again. I spoke to them a few days after and they said that we were still trying to rekindle. I asked what they meant by that and they said that we're just not gonna be mean to each other anymore. I've had lots of anger and doubt about the situation, but I really feel in my heart that it was the Holy Spirit that guided them to apologize. The only thing that makes sense to me is that we are supposed to friends. It doesn't make sense that we're not friends. I know in my heart that God placed us in each other's lives for a reason. This is a really foggy zone and I don't know what to do. I know what I want to do. I want to them how much I care about them and how much I miss their friendship. I want to tell them that I will love them no matter what and go through any hardships with them. I realized that I haven't been praying for them since the apology and I need to do that. I'm just wondering if I can have any advice and prayers. Thank you!

 

[thehehe]

It seems to me that your definition of friendship may not be exactly the same as your friends. For example, I know that I will need a lot of freedom in a friendship and to have the ability to breath whenever I want - without having my friend panicking or worrying. Your friends may be just like this! Giving breaks to a relationship may be a way to have a deeper friendship for them. Honestly, if they refuse to talk to you for a while, I think you should let go rather than pursuing them. If your friendship is meant to be, it will come back, trust them and yourself.
Don't fall into nostalgia of your lost friendship but look for the future, for what you could both of you be now. You may have passed a milestone in your relationship: from the joy of discovering each other to classical disenchantment. Don't rush or panick, there is always a moment of wavering in a friendship. Once this hard moment is passed (and it can be very long, there is no rule for that!), then you will know if your friendship is a real one. And even if it was not the case, it does not matter! It proved you could be a great friend. It was perhaps your personnalities that could finally not totally match for such a long time.
A friend, even lost, is still a marvellous memory - but even if is painful to move on, it should not be a marvellous regret.
You don't exist by the eyes of others and by your relationships with others. You exist by yourself, by God. So it seems like you don't have to despair or to worry : you are a full human being, concentrate on yourself and your own part of the friendship, you are doing your job. Now your friends are free to do their part or not. Let them choose wisely and carefully, without feeling any pressure from your part.

I hate to say that as it is very cliché and does not mean anything concrete, but trust your future and the "fate".

Of course, I will pray for you - I hope it helped you, I apologize if it confused you.

 

[Dontdosadness]

Wow! Thank you so so much! Those were some really amazing words of advice and guidance. I have a way better understanding of the situation now. I cannot express how grateful I am. God bless you!