Not caring what people think of you?

Bcs90

Active Member
Jul 8, 2019
97
92
33
Willmar
✟16,669.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I think I care too much about what people think of me, that it negatively effects my life and relationship with God. How can I improve in this? I think I've improved but could definitely care a lot less in that regard.
This worries me because in the bible it was said that one can not be trying to please people and be a servant of Christ at the same time?
 

Peter J Barban

Well-Known Member
Mar 29, 2016
1,474
973
62
Taiwan
Visit site
✟97,647.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Some people are just naturally group-oriented. It is easy to talk about change, but you can't just change your basic personality.

While you can grow more independent as you mature, you will always find it easier to identify and satisfy group desires. So work with this.

1. Separate as much as you can from people who hinder your relationship with God. For those whom you have to put up with, try not to let them overly influence you. Be "in the world" but not "of the world".

2. Use fellowship as your strength. Meet with strong Christians who can help you be a strong Christian. Let their values influence you the most.

3. Learn to serve God's people. Focus on identifying their values and seek to meet their needs. Loving God through loving his people is your God-given strength. But don't sacrifice so much that you lose your love for God and his people. My Korean classmates in seminary never had devotions alone, they always had group devotions (at 5 in the morning).

4. Become a servant-leader. As you grow, you will see many other's people's needs that you can meet. Help them even when they are difficult to help.
 
Upvote 0

Carl Emerson

Well-Known Member
Dec 18, 2017
14,667
9,977
78
Auckland
✟376,544.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Do a bible study on What God says about you - accept this with thankfulness, even repent of what you thought of yourself if necessary. Agree with God on this view of yourself. Go forth with confidence knowing your acceptance. What others think will pale into irrelevance.

Read the below from Mother Teresa...


Mother Teresa said...

If you are kind, people will accuse you of selfish motives;

Be kind anyway.



If you are successful, you will win both false friends and true enemies;

Succeed anyway.



What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight;

Build anyway.



The good you do today most people will forget;

Do good anyway.



Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough;

Give your best anyway.



In the final analysis it is between you and God.

It never was between you and them anyway.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bcs90
Upvote 0

EmmaCat

Happy Homemaker!
Supporter
May 5, 2016
2,561
2,009
30
Rural Western NC
✟325,997.00
Country
United States
Faith
Fundament. Christ.
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I think I care too much about what people think of me, that it negatively effects my life and relationship with God. How can I improve in this? I think I've improved but could definitely care a lot less in that regard.
This worries me because in the bible it was said that one can not be trying to please people and be a servant of Christ at the same time?

Well I think one can perhaps be both. You can try to please people and guide them to our Lord, which may or may not work. That usually ends up in a mess.

I do not care about what people think of me. You must be true to yourself, as God has guided you, and trust Him to guide you and follow Him as you see fit.

Never mind what people think of you. They are just people and do not understand that you are following God.

People will come and go, but remember, God is forever. Put it to prayer, open your heart to God, wait for His answers, and you will never be led astry.

All good things
Emmy
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,479
17,638
USA
✟933,157.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
I focus on pleasing God. I have little control over someone’s response. My attempt to please can fall short. To stake my joy and peace of mind on their reception is unwise. My emotions would rise and fall and instability would ensue. That’s no way to live.

We are influenced by our personalities; not ruled. I am an extrovert. But I’m not other centered or dependent on group interactions for sustenance. I focus on God and He sustains me.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,650
6,107
Massachusetts
✟583,319.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I think I care too much about what people think of me, that it negatively effects my life and relationship with God. How can I improve in this? I think I've improved but could definitely care a lot less in that regard.
One thing >

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

If you are talking about people who don't even care about you, and/or they are trying to use you > God is the One who truly cares for us, as our Father.

But when we are wrong and people can think this is wrong, we need to care about this and be a better example.

But ones might criticize us for what has nothing to do with real love. We might then talk with them about how they really should learn how to think about us :)

"You think I am not acceptable because I don't wear fancy shoes?? You need to see how I really can be wrong, by arguing and by not having compassion for wrong people. Jesus wants us to be forgiving; so this is the kind of thing we need to be thinking about, right? So, you need to be thinking about if I am loving any and all people the way Jesus wants, not only judging me by if I conform to what what act you want me to put on."
 
Upvote 0

HisGraceAbounds

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jul 21, 2019
432
527
Central Illinois
✟267,200.00
Country
United States
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Private
Caring too much what others think of you can be a barrier, but the opposite end of the spectrum can also be bad. I'm in the latter category - I don't care what anyone thinks of me, and never have...and it's made my life very challenging at times.

One way I like to think about it is this: Most of the people we spend so much time trying to please just aren't worth it. They mock, they scoff, they talk a lot when you aren't around, they find themselves to be more important than they really are. They don't live your life, pay your bills, or have any other entitlement to be judgmental about you and your life.

There's somewhere in the middle - where you care about the right people, but can easily disregard the noise from the others who are just making noise - somewhere in there is the place to be, IMHO.
 
Upvote 0