No sex before marriage

[krugerpark]

yeah a lot of them are timid men with anxiety problems and no experience with women by their 30's

but they are husband types I suppose

 

[Avniel]

around 70% of men (in the church, pastors/deacons included) are addicted to inappropriate contentography and it feeds their lust for more

I hear from so many guys that after marriage you stop getting it, which doesn't help younger guys like me look forward to signing my name on that paper.

very powerful force on men though and women definetly know how to use that. This is the most difficult and damaging subject you can bring up.

I think one of the reason is how the church views sex. I was in a thread where a few people were talking about how parents shouldn't be real with their children about sex. We have so much sexual dysfunction In the church because of the inability to be adults and talk about sex. If we are more open about sex and how it really is there won't be as much dysfunction. And can we stop telling our children men only want one thing, women feel that sex is their power it's their control and its not true. Women are smart, kind, caring and nurturing a virtuous woman's husband wants more from her then sex.

 

[CoFrye]

My mother.. was a stripper.. She is also the one who gave me "the talk" .. I admit that I do battle with flesh every day. It is so easy to fall into the idea that it is ok with God, for one reason or another, especially if we are mislead into believing that someone truly cares about us and wants to be with us forever.

In today's society there is much talk about marriage, but not much real investment in marriage. Divorce rates climb ever higher as people find themselves unwilling to pursue a meaningful, lasting relationship with God and thus with another person. God must come first. The Word tells us "Seek ye first the kingdom of God." Which means if we put God first we are doing the right thing.

I can not tell someone that they are not married because they do not have a legal piece of paper. In my estimation that legal piece of paper means diddly in the world of today because it only takes a decision to undo it. ( I know my ex wife left me after 10 years)

When we think of Marriage, we need to remember that God wants us in a relationship with a helper in our journey. Not someone who is going to drag us down. Not someone who is going to keep us from our faith. In this reason there should be a spiritual marriage. The act of signing on the dotted line, as it were, is just a formality that completes the union in man's eyes. Still if someone is unwilling to make even that commitment to you, then what would make you think that they are willing to commit their life to helping you in love and trust and in God?

To the original poster.. I say again I am praying for you. I respect your decision to wait and I think that it is something that is very proper and very needed. Seek first God, and the rest will be added unto you. Keep your faith. Do not think it is -just- your responsibility but make sure that you keep your faith strong. Ask God for guidance in everything you do. If you ask him, he will answer.

Kudos to you for doing the right thing. Let no person take that away from you. Give yourself when you are ready and if someone can not understand it, then they are not right for you.

With Eternal Love Your brother in Christ=
Pastor Christion Frye

 

[TheDag]

i don't fully blame the guy i was with, i let stuff happen and i put myself in situations where things could very easily happen. When things got heated he made comments like we are heading for trouble, we better not do something silly, and i was not forceful enough in saying yes i agree(why, i dont no now)

My theory on why you didn't say no is because once a person has had sex then usually they miss it and want it again. I think possibly there was a part of you that wanted sex because if we are honest then it is pleasureable. I know when my wife and I seperated the urge to go out and have sex was very strong. I still miss it but it is getting easier to deal with with practice of abstaining.


I wonder how much a part culture plays in this debate. I could be wrong but I get the impression that you still get many who go to church because that is the culturally respectable thing to do in the area they live. this means it is possible/likely that there are many who call themselves christians but aren't. Things used to be like that in Australia and it has caused massive problems but these days most people who go to church actually believe. From conversations I've had I would say the majority of people will wait untill marriage. I'm guessing most are happy to do that.

 

[Spunkn]

"there was a part of you that wanted sex because if we are honest then it is pleasureable."

God created sex. There is nothing inherently evil about sex. God just chose to protect us from destroying it by restricting it to the bounds of marriage. He does this for our protection. One doesn't have to look very far in the world to see what kind of damage sex does outside of marriage. God is not trying to keep things away from us that we want. He wants you to enjoy sex. But He also wants to keep you getting from getting hurt from it, because we are sinners and will abuse it given the chance outside of marriage.

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

Without getting into all the hubbub and debate in this thread...

Yes, there are men who will behave as true Christian men, and not only wait to have sex until they're married, but will abstain from pushing the boundaries, pressuring you to do things you aren't comfortable with, etc. Some men act as if anything that's not full-blown intercourse is still OK, and that's ridiculous.

The bottom line is that you need to secure your foundational beliefs in God's Word and through seeking His wisdom. Asking for advice online isn't here or there, but you may not get the truth from imperfect (albeit well-meaning) people. What does the Bible say about sex, marriage, and purity? Chances are, you already know the answers

 

[newbeliever02072005]

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