• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

  3. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.
  4. Please note there is a new rule regarding the posting of videos. It reads, "Post a summary of the videos you post . An exception can be made for music videos.". Unless you are simply sharing music, please post a summary, or the gist, of the video you wish to share.
  5. There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
  6. CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.
  7. We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system.

No More Childbearing

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Gynecological Issues' started by JAM2b, Apr 24, 2016.

  1. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,719
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    I'm not sure where to put this. It might be more appropriate in the Parenting section or Terrific Thirties or Fabulous Forties. It won't hurt my feelings if it gets moved.

    In the last couple of months I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that most likely I won't be having any more babies. My whole life I had wanted to have a lot of kids. When I was younger I couldn't imagine having less than 3 or 4. My preference was to have 6-8. When I was married my husband and I compromised by agreeing to have 3. I had complications with childbirth and difficulty getting pregnant the second time. We ended up losing one baby to miscarriage, and having two children to raise. Both of my live births have been c-sections because of a birth defect I was born with. The father of my children and I are divorced now. Both of my children I'm raising are boys. I love them very much. However I have also always wanted a daughter in addition to my sons. My boys have always wanted a sister.

    I have a boyfriend that I have been in a relationship with for several years, and we are waiting for the right time to get married. I had hoped that he and I would have at least one child together, but it has taken longer for us to be married than we had planned, I feel I'm too old, and I have a uterus full of tumors. I don't know if I am even capable of conceiving another child due to my condition and reproductive health history. I didn't discuss it with my ob/gyn doctor because it's not an option at this point. I'm not married to my boyfriend yet. I have also started birth control for the treatment of the tumors, and there is a very good chance I will have to remain on it until menopause (which might not be too far away). I carry genetic birth defects which have affected my youngest son; I don't want to cause another child to be born with medical problems.

    Lately I have been very sad over the likelihood that I will not have any more babies, and I won't experience raising a child with my boyfriend after we marry. I've been trying to tell myself to be thankful for the boys I have, and the fact there is a man in my life who loves me. God has blessed me with great people in my life. I try to focus on the fact that I could have grandchildren to enjoy later, and I could be satisfied with that. Given all the factors involved, it shouldn't be hard to accept, and yet it is. It makes me want to cry.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. LaSorcia

    LaSorcia Be like a plant, grow towards the light. Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

    +35,125
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    The loss of a dream is always sad. There is a mourning process, and your posting here is part of that. Is adoption an option for you?
     
  3. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,719
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    I actually have thought about adopting quite a bit. At this point in it is something that I can't do financially and it would need to be a decision agreed upon by my boyfriend if we are to get married. While things are still up in the air for us it doesn't feel like the right time to talk about it in detail together. He is aware that I had wanted more children, and plan to be very involved with any grandchildren I might have some day. I've told him that I would be interested in adoption. He acknowledged it, but we aren't at a place to make serious decisions about that in our relationship yet.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  4. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,719
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    I started this thread almost two years ago, and forgot about it.

    My condition has gotten worse. The tumors are enlarged more than they were. I am scheduled for a complete hysterectomy next week. They might also need to remove ovaries, but the doctor said he will try to leave at least one so that I won't be suddenly thrown into menopause.

    I have felt sad over not having more kids, but I also feel very relieved that all the symptoms that I deal with because of my reproductive health are going to be taken away very soon. I have other chronic health problems that make life difficult. Getting this tumor filled uterus out of the way will ease a major part of my physical misery.
     
  5. Poppyseed78

    Poppyseed78 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,321
    Christian
    Married
    I'm praying for a successful surgery for you and a fast recovery. I hope the doctor is able to save at least one of your ovaries. Prayers that everything goes well.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  6. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

    +1,719
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    The surgery was successful, and the doctor was able to leave both ovaries because they looked good. After removal, the uterus and tumors were sent to pathology to for a more thorough check for cancer. There were no signs of cancer cells at all.

    The recovery has thrown me for a loop. I bounced back so much better and faster after having c-sections, but I'm not in my 20's anymore! I'm really feeling my age. This has kicked my tail.

    It took me longer than it should have to wake up after surgery, like hours later. I was unable to handle the strong pain medications after surgery and kept getting sick a lot. I was dehydrated and had a hard time holding down food. My blood sugar was low a lot. This went on for a couple of weeks. Then my incision became infected, and it is better but still trying to heal. I've finished the antibiotic, but the doctor wants to wait and see if it finishes healing without another prescription.

    I'm returning to work next week, and I'm not quite sure if I will be ready. It is a desk job, so I am trying to work up to sitting up straight for 8 hours a day at the computer desk. My core muscles are still trying to figure out how to function after all this.
     
    • Prayers Prayers x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  7. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

    +2,604
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
Loading...