I find myself in a bit of a predicament. Before we got married and were engaged on two occasions, I found my now husband sending somewhat inappropriate messages to other women. Granted I snooped to find them, my intuition was telling me something was up and I was right. One time was when we first started dating and another time was when we were engaged. The second time it happened I told him if he ever did it again I was out.
Another thing that has bothered me is his close friendship with two females.
I know he doesn't talk much to them,
but he told me he talked to one of them around two in the morning for a few hours because her boyfriend had cheated on her and she thought she had cancer. I felt as if that was kind of inappropriate because we just had our first child and we have been having a rough spot and I know how easy it is to find even well intentioned folks in emotional affairs, especially in rough spots. We have discussed this and though he doesn't agree with me about having female friends (he is more okay with it and okay with having long conversations; I am okay with being cordial but think things can get dicey when they start to discuss personal issues) he did say he would respect my wishes bc I am his wife.
My husband was once engaged to another girl, and I had a dream a few weeks ago as well as my intuition going off again. I dreamed that he had his ex's phone number saved under a different contact name. I told him about the dream and I semi-jokingly asked if he still had her number and he told me no way! However, my insecurities got the best of me and I looked through his contacts. I found his ex's first name and a different last name from her real one. I still had a strong intuition about it so I blocked my number and called it...lo and behold it was his ex. I looked at our phone records and I can see his hasn't had recent contact with her, but the fact that he has her number hidden under a different name suggests something nefarious to me...if anything it suggests he may not be fully over her and that hurts.
I have forgiven him for his past incidents, but I've never really felt our relationship is secure because of his stances on close female friends, his past inappropriate comments, and now this. I know he would be furious that I snooped and that would probably cause him not to trust me...but now it's like I can't trust him even more bc he lied about having her number. Do I face the music and tell him I know? Or am I making a huge deal out of nothing?
