My husband and I have been married for 8 months. We were together for 2 years prior to marrying and did not have sex before we married as being Christian we believed this was the right thing to do. Fooling around, I had the impression he was very interested in regular and exciting sex.
I lived as a non-Christian previously, having several long term relationships and plenty of great/experimental/intimate sex. My husband was a virgin when we married.
We both expected to have lots of sex when we got married, but it is infrequent at best. I didn't expect him to be amazing having had no experience, but having been with a virgin before I thought he'd catch on pretty quick. He hasn't. In fact he doesn't even seem to know his own body that well.
I am so disappointed and I know he feels pressured by my desire to have more frequent sex than he does. I feel disappointed that my man wants less sex than I do! Any guy I was with before always wanted plenty of sex, usually every day, even more than once, which is more my drive.
He doesn't seem to enjoy foreplay - he told me once that he gets tired and that it seems like a lot of work. It made me feel like he isn't even excited to touch my body...not a problem I ever had before.
He is also very conservative when it comes to experimentation - it's pretty much missionary all the way. I feel really unhappy - not only do we hardly have sex, but when we do it's mostly mediocre. We have had times where we really connected, but it's rare.
We have talked about it multiple times, but the more we talk the worse it gets - the more pressured he feels and the more frustrated I feel. I have tried to be patient, but he never initiates sex and I feel rejected most of the time when I do. He is always tired. We have had a lot of pressure and stress since we got married but stress never had such an impact on my sex life before.
I am so disappointed at the thought of this being my sex life for the rest of my life. I feel doomed to be sexually frustrated from now on. I find myself fantasising about getting sex toys and satisfying myself. But I don't want to hide things from him or make him feel any more inadequate. I find it hard not to think about past encounters that were more satisfying and exciting and to want that again. Of course this all leaves me empty, even thinking about it makes me sad. This isn't what I want. I want a real connection with the man I married and a great and exciting and regular sex life! Is that too much to hope for? Seems this problem is usually the other way around with the guy wanting more sex and more experimentation.
It's taking an emotional toll. We both feel frustrated and disappointed with God having trusted Him, believing He would bless us for waiting.
I don't know where to go from here. Help!
I lived as a non-Christian previously, having several long term relationships and plenty of great/experimental/intimate sex. My husband was a virgin when we married.
We both expected to have lots of sex when we got married, but it is infrequent at best. I didn't expect him to be amazing having had no experience, but having been with a virgin before I thought he'd catch on pretty quick. He hasn't. In fact he doesn't even seem to know his own body that well.
I am so disappointed and I know he feels pressured by my desire to have more frequent sex than he does. I feel disappointed that my man wants less sex than I do! Any guy I was with before always wanted plenty of sex, usually every day, even more than once, which is more my drive.
He doesn't seem to enjoy foreplay - he told me once that he gets tired and that it seems like a lot of work. It made me feel like he isn't even excited to touch my body...not a problem I ever had before.
He is also very conservative when it comes to experimentation - it's pretty much missionary all the way. I feel really unhappy - not only do we hardly have sex, but when we do it's mostly mediocre. We have had times where we really connected, but it's rare.
We have talked about it multiple times, but the more we talk the worse it gets - the more pressured he feels and the more frustrated I feel. I have tried to be patient, but he never initiates sex and I feel rejected most of the time when I do. He is always tired. We have had a lot of pressure and stress since we got married but stress never had such an impact on my sex life before.
I am so disappointed at the thought of this being my sex life for the rest of my life. I feel doomed to be sexually frustrated from now on. I find myself fantasising about getting sex toys and satisfying myself. But I don't want to hide things from him or make him feel any more inadequate. I find it hard not to think about past encounters that were more satisfying and exciting and to want that again. Of course this all leaves me empty, even thinking about it makes me sad. This isn't what I want. I want a real connection with the man I married and a great and exciting and regular sex life! Is that too much to hope for? Seems this problem is usually the other way around with the guy wanting more sex and more experimentation.
It's taking an emotional toll. We both feel frustrated and disappointed with God having trusted Him, believing He would bless us for waiting.
I don't know where to go from here. Help!
