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Newbie's story and hope it helps a little...

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kaykay637

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Hi! I am new to Christian.forums.:wave: Just happened to see the one here about OCD. Apparently, I have been struggling with it to some degree most of my life. I didn't know that what the deal was until about 3 or 4 years ago when my husband and I went to visit a professional counselor about an unrelated issue and after talking to me a bit about something I was dealing with she told me she thought I was borderline OCD. Borderline? Turns out I'm a tad bit more than borderline.

She explained to me that when Christians have OCD it often doesn't take the form of handwashing, counting compulsions (though it could). She said it often gets into areas that are of import to Christians like salvation, unforgivable sin, what are sins, intellectual doubts etc, etc. For awhile I was pretty much in denial that I had it because I have functioned pretty well most of my adult life with some flare ups here and there. I DID however, have the handwashing issue when I was about 7 so that should've been a clue... She told me she was surprised I hadn't dealt with the "unpardonable sin" issue because she said most Christians with OCD do. (Well, little did she know, but when I was younger, I had had MAJOR struggles with that!!)

Anyway, seeing what people have and are dealing with on this forum has just blown me away because so much of it is what I have dealt with too.

There is a LOT of good advice I've seen here on this forum, but I just really hope to encourage any of you who may be currently struggling.

Especially when I was younger, I went through soooo much of all this- the fear of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, intellectual doubts about God and the resulting condemnation over that and questions about salvation. Maybe this helps, maybe it doesn't, but I just sooo wish I could convince many of you that are struggling: Your struggle is NOT reality-based. It's OCD. God is not condemning you, it's the OCD! I've been there and I know. Sometimes I think it just helps to realize that! I know how real it seems but it's OCD!

And yes, I know our OCD thoughts have some basis in truth or we could probably dismiss them out of hand. But it's just taken to such extreme it gets into the OCD playground of the mind. And of course, we always think we are the exception. With us, it IS the truth.

I read something one time about OCD that I agree with:
If you suspect it's OCD, it IS OCD!

Blessings, guys!
 

babegirl111

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You are So great! Thanks so much for sharing your story, I also had the hand washing compulsion too, actually i still have a form of it, i hade the getting contaminated compulsion to, lol, I had a whole bunch of compulsions! BUT I SERIOUSLY THINK WE ARE ALL GOING TO OVERCOME OCD, I KNOW WE REALLY LOVE GOD AND THAT WE ALL WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN FOREVER SO WE GOTTA KEEP PRAYING! LOVE YALL!
 
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gracechick

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I know many of us have lived decades without understanding what we were dealing with. Looking back sometimes I tell myself I can't believe I missed that!!!
But years ago there wasn't the info or knowledge of these disorders that we have now. Thank you Lord.

I like the statment you found about "If you suspect it's OCD it is OCD. When one's mind grabs hold of an issue that runs against what one believes or thinks it truely becomes difficult not to feel eventually like that has to be true.sigh.
 
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marcb

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Awesome post, KayKay. I was just thinking earlier, what if we all really saw this as a clinical problem? We would still pray over it, and ask God for strength, then we would do all we could to beat it, right?

I do not have a problem with God, I have ocd.

Wow, that's powerful just to write - try it. Praise to God that He can use this affliction for His glory and for the growth of our faith and understanding.
 
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BigV

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Hi! I am new to Christian.forums.:wave: Just happened to see the one here about OCD. Apparently, I have been struggling with it to some degree most of my life. I didn't know that what the deal was until about 3 or 4 years ago when my husband and I went to visit a professional counselor about an unrelated issue and after talking to me a bit about something I was dealing with she told me she thought I was borderline OCD. Borderline? Turns out I'm a tad bit more than borderline.

She explained to me that when Christians have OCD it often doesn't take the form of handwashing, counting compulsions (though it could). She said it often gets into areas that are of import to Christians like salvation, unforgivable sin, what are sins, intellectual doubts etc, etc. For awhile I was pretty much in denial that I had it because I have functioned pretty well most of my adult life with some flare ups here and there. I DID however, have the handwashing issue when I was about 7 so that should've been a clue... She told me she was surprised I hadn't dealt with the "unpardonable sin" issue because she said most Christians with OCD do. (Well, little did she know, but when I was younger, I had had MAJOR struggles with that!!)

Anyway, seeing what people have and are dealing with on this forum has just blown me away because so much of it is what I have dealt with too.

There is a LOT of good advice I've seen here on this forum, but I just really hope to encourage any of you who may be currently struggling.

Especially when I was younger, I went through soooo much of all this- the fear of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, intellectual doubts about God and the resulting condemnation over that and questions about salvation. Maybe this helps, maybe it doesn't, but I just sooo wish I could convince many of you that are struggling: Your struggle is NOT reality-based. It's OCD. God is not condemning you, it's the OCD! I've been there and I know. Sometimes I think it just helps to realize that! I know how real it seems but it's OCD!

And yes, I know our OCD thoughts have some basis in truth or we could probably dismiss them out of hand. But it's just taken to such extreme it gets into the OCD playground of the mind. And of course, we always think we are the exception. With us, it IS the truth.

I read something one time about OCD that I agree with:
If you suspect it's OCD, it IS OCD!

Blessings, guys!
Thanks for sharing your story. If you don't mind me asking, what else did you learn about OCD? Is it biological? What causes it?

Thanks,
V..
 
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kaykay637

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Thanks for sharing your story. If you don't mind me asking, what else did you learn about OCD? Is it biological? What causes it?

Thanks,
V..
I think most people believe it is biological. Some researcher have even suggested a link between children starting to get OCD after a bout with strep. I don't think science has an answer as to what causes. it. I think it is biological though I do believe there may be some demonic influence that plays upon that biological weakness.

I would suggest 2 books I have read about OCD-

Brain Lock (this is one is not about religious OCD and not from a Christian perspective but does have some insight IMO.)

The Doubting Disease (This is from a Christian perspective. It 's a bit clinical but still insightful.)

Both of these can be purchased on www.amazon.com
 
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gracealone

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I think most people believe it is biological. Some researcher have even suggested a link between children starting to get OCD after a bout with strep. I don't think science has an answer as to what causes. it. I think it is biological though I do believe there may be some demonic influence that plays upon that biological weakness.

I would suggest 2 books I have read about OCD are the following:

Brain Lock (this is one is not about religious OCD and not from a Christian perspective but does have some insight IMO.)

The Doubting Disease (This is from a Christian perspective. It 's a bit clinical but still insightful.)

Both of these can be purchased on www.amazon.com
HI KayKay,
Thanks so much for sharing your story and the encouragement you have offered to all of us about your recovery. We need more and more of these testimonies to inspire and provide testimony that OCD is an illness that is very treatable. I'm so thrilled to have you join us.
I hope you don't mind but I have to voice a bit of concern about something you wrote.
I'm not really sure that what you meant to say was that our OCD somehow makes us more vunerable to "demonic influences" or what you even mean by the words demonic influence. But I am extremely guarded about using this type of language in connection to OCD because it can cause a person with OCD to really run amuck with obsessional spikes as the OCD will all too easily latch on to such an idea and put it front in center as something that needs to be dealt with NOW!
The only role of demonic or satanic activity in OCD is an attempt to cause us to have an attitude of despair. This is no different from when Job was so afflicted and buffeted by satan that he wished he had never been born and even his wife said to him.. I don't know why you just don't give up...."Curse God and go ahead and die." Despair! This can happen with any affliction/trial physical or otherwise. And it can happen with OCD too. It makes no difference whether the theme of my OCD obsessions is on health issues, or harming a loved one or something along the lines of "UH OH... what if I'm being demon possessed or oppressed!!!!" Just because the obsession centers on thoughts of satan does not mean that satan is the one planting the thoughts. If we begin to say things like "well there just might also be a demonic component at play with our OCD", then we will begin to think that we must treat our OCD more as a spiritual problem rather than a psychological disorder. This will only get us deeper into the cycle of obsession/compulsion.
We don't tend to think that people with cancer are experiencing demonic influences yet the temptation to despair is just as possible with them as it is for the person with OCD.
If we are to treat our OCD spikes with the proven technique of exposure response than we have to give all of them the stamp of "invalid - not worthy of attention", even those that center on the doubt of possible demonic possession or influences.
Does satan afflict us, yes the Bible says he does. But he can only afflict, not possess or take control of our actions or thoughts. No matter how he afflicts we still have the choice before us to throw up our hands in utter despair or to choose to walk on, to persevere, to say of God, "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." What we do is what matters, not some disgusting unwanted intrusive racket in our heads caused by our illness. It always boils down to volitional faith/choice. If our response to our OCD is to be the Biblical response to affliction than rather than saying that OCD makes us somehow more vunerable to demonic influences we should be saying..."I will therefore GLORY in my affliction, (OCD),in order that the power of Christ may rest more fully upon me.. for it is when I am weak that I am strong." (the apostle Paul)
What satan means for evil God turns into good. Just as the story of Joseph and many others demonstrates to us.
I know I can kind of get up on a "soap box" about these things. But I just always have to proclaim that God is not hindered by our OCD and the fullness of His plans and purposes for us are not hindered by our OCD. It is the exact opposite. Instead we need to be aware that He is doing a great work in us, not in spite of our affliction but in and through it and dare we say like Paul -even because of it.
God Bless,
Mitzi
 
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kaykay637

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HI KayKay,
Thanks so much for sharing your story and the encouragement you have offered to all of us about your recovery. We need more and more of these testimonies to inspire and provide testimony that OCD is an illness that is very treatable. I'm so thrilled to have you join us.
I hope you don't mind but I have to voice a bit of concern about something you wrote.
I'm not really sure that what you meant to say was that our OCD somehow makes us more vunerable to "demonic influences" or what you even mean by the words demonic influence. But I am extremely guarded about using this type of language in connection to OCD because it can cause a person with OCD to really run amuck with obsessional spikes as the OCD will all too easily latch on to such an idea and put it front in center as something that needs to be dealt with NOW!
The only role of demonic or satanic activity in OCD is an attempt to cause us to have an attitude of despair. This is no different from when Job was so afflicted and buffeted by satan that he wished he had never been born and even his wife said to him.. I don't know why you just don't give up...."Curse God and go ahead and die." Despair! This can happen with any affliction/trial physical or otherwise. And it can happen with OCD too. It makes no difference whether the theme of my OCD obsessions is on health issues, or harming a loved one or something along the lines of "UH OH... what if I'm being demon possessed or oppressed!!!!" Just because the obsession centers on thoughts of satan does not mean that satan is the one planting the thoughts. If we begin to say things like "well there just might also be a demonic component at play with our OCD", then we will begin to think that we must treat our OCD more as a spiritual problem rather than a psychological disorder. This will only get us deeper into the cycle of obsession/compulsion.
We don't tend to think that people with cancer are experiencing demonic influences yet the temptation to despair is just as possible with them as it is for the person with OCD.
If we are to treat our OCD spikes with the proven technique of exposure response than we have to give all of them the stamp of "invalid - not worthy of attention", even those that center on the doubt of possible demonic possession or influences.
Does satan afflict us, yes the Bible says he does. But he can only afflict, not possess or take control of our actions or thoughts. No matter how he afflicts we still have the choice before us to throw up our hands in utter despair or to choose to walk on, to persevere, to say of God, "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." What we do is what matters, not some disgusting unwanted intrusive racket in our heads caused by our illness. It always boils down to volitional faith/choice. If our response to our OCD is to be the Biblical response to affliction than rather than saying that OCD makes us somehow more vunerable to demonic influences we should be saying..."I will therefore GLORY in my affliction, (OCD),in order that the power of Christ may rest more fully upon me.. for it is when I am weak that I am strong." (the apostle Paul)
What satan means for evil God turns into good. Just as the story of Joseph and many others demonstrates to us.
I know I can kind of get up on a "soap box" about these things. But I just always have to proclaim that God is not hindered by our OCD and the fullness of His plans and purposes for us are not hindered by our OCD. It is the exact opposite. Instead we need to be aware that He is doing a great work in us, not in spite of our affliction but in and through it and dare we say like Paul -even because of it.
God Bless,
Mitzi
Frankly, Mitzi, I had a tad of concern about adding that, for just the reason you said. Perhaps I shouldn't have added that because I DONT want someone to "overblow" my meaning and "go crazy" with it. So just let me hasten to add that I don't think people with OCD need to go out and seek deliverance or anything of the sort. (or DO anythng in that direction about it. ) And you're right, those with OCD could very well get obsessive in that direction and be very counter-productive. I think OCD IS a biological/pyschological issue. I do think it should be treated as such. I hope this puts a balance to it before anyone interprets me to mean more than I actually did.
 
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gracealone

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Frankly, Mitzi, I had a tad of concern about adding that, for just the reason you said. Perhaps I shouldn't have added that because I DONT want someone to "overblow" my meaning and "go crazy" with it. So just let me hasten to add that I don't think people with OCD need to go out and seek deliverance or anything of the sort. (or DO anythng in that direction about it. ) And you're right, those with OCD could very well get obsessive in that direction and be very counter-productive. I think OCD IS a biological/pyschological issue. I do think it should be treated as such. I hope this puts a balance to it before anyone interprets me to mean more than I actually did.
HI Kaykay,
What an awesome,sensitive and caring person you are! I just want to thank you profusely for your discerning response. I'm so glad that you understood what I was trying to say as I was very concerned that I may have hurt your feelings. I'm always concerned about such things - a bit too much most of the time because I have OCD.
God Bless you for your testimony of faith and your loving concern for those of us on this forum.
Mitzi
 
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kaykay637

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HI Kaykay,
What an awesome,sensitive and caring person you are! I just want to thank you profusely for your discerning response. I'm so glad that you understood what I was trying to say as I was very concerned that I may have hurt your feelings. I'm always concerned about such things - a bit too much most of the time because I have OCD.
God Bless you for your testimony of faith and your loving concern for those of us on this forum.
Mitzi
I understood what you were trying to say because I also struggle with OCD, ya know! I DO understand where people's minds can unfortunately go with things!
 
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ObsessedButBlessed

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Kay, thanks for sharing your stories. It's funny in an ironic sort of way about what the therapist said regarding your obsessions... sounds a lot like my experience. For awhile I worked with a Christian therapist and he was surprised that, as a Christian, I really did not deal with religious obsessions (my original obsessions dealt with health and relationship fears). Unfortunately about two years into having full-blown OCD, it started focusing on my faith.

I don't have the blasphemous obsessions, but ones about "intellectual doubt." I get scared asking questions that I don't know the answer to because I fear it "proves" my obsession true that God doesn't exist. Scary!

Anyway, this therapist also believed that OCD was a brain chemical/biological issue but also believed that we were susceptible to certain influences by Satan and his followers. And in some ways I believed he had a point - I mean what greater goal does Satan have than to put lies into our head, doubts about our salvation, and cause us to doubt Christ? Christians are great targets for this.

But I stopped short of believing that it was solely a faith issue or a "demonic influence" issue... because I would think about non-Christians and how they struggle with the exact same thoughts that I have stuggled with. Faith just seems to give me an upper hand when dealing with some of these things, but I have read about people who obsess that there actually IS a God when they have been atheists their entire lives.
 
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