new neighbor blues

[GaveMeJoy]

IMO signs are passive aggressive. When my neighbors came to my house when I was in the yard or something and brought up an issue similar I apologized and didn’t do it again. That neighbor and I are now friendly, we even built a shared fence together a year later...

guarantee none of that happens and I would currently be standoffish with him and he with me if either of us left a note or a sign. But I am sensitive because getting notes from neighbors is a pet peeve lol.

“Hey neighbor! You left some palm fronts in my yard when you cut them, must have missed it. I went ahead and tossed them back over for you!” Might work. Do your best

Never call the police on a neighbor unless something really dangerous is going on. It’s automatic enemies, and once they find out you are a Christian you testimony can be compromised for nuisance calls; noise calls etc. just my opinion

 

[DamianWarS]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

why not instead pick them up and dispose of them how you would dispose of them if they were yours then go over to your neighbours, don't even mention the fronds, and welcome them (maybe even give them a gift).

 

[Monksailor]

i'm so sorry that happened to you. do you still live there? your info is something i will keep in mind. thanks.

Thank you. We are moving after I get house updated. It is too bad as we are only 4 blocks from Lk MI where there is Stearns Park with a 1/3 mile hikable break water with a Lighthouse at the end and the Badger car ferry one can cross Lk MI to WI 60 miles away. The roads from my house are VERY bike friendly esp including the 7 mile road along Lk MI north of town to the State Park. The home has all we wanted in a home esp TONS of custom storage. We can hear the waves rolling ashore on windier days. Midwest Living magazine voted our State Park to be the best in the Midwest. (Visitors Guide to Ludington on Lake Michigan) But that is OK. It has a bsmt gar and in 10-20 yrs stairs may not be navigable. It is better we move now than in that advanced age. I hope your situation goes much better. The new neighbors have a LOT of money and much influence with the city, possibly a relative in city hall?

It significantly enriches MI gomnt to not let people live in a home long. The longer one resides in a home the relatively lower their taxes but as soon as they leave and sell the home the govmnt can legitably bring the taxable value up from where it remained to current market values. I heard once that that is why MI started taxing pension checks and tried to also tax SS checks. Getting rid of the older residents or making them move would be a VERY profitable undertaking for the govmnt. RE Taxes in Mi, for example, are TEN times more than in AL, possibly the primary source of revenue for MI. Many Sr Cit in MI "snowbird" and migrate south for the winter due to the aging affect on their bodies making colder weather harder to endure and slipping on ice much more hazardous, taking half of their annual spending elsewhere but costing them the expense and trouble of having two homes a great distance apart. Taxing their pensions could easily be the hair breaking the camel's back to force them to move south, permanently, since this new taxation initiative from our last Gov probably many have. Our present Gov promised on her election campaign to reverse such taxation targeting sr. cit but all it was is words.

 

[Josheb]

yes, if i can throw them back.

lol

 

[Halbhh]

We have gained some new extremely inconsiderate and uncooperative neighbors. I have tired to talk and negotiate a peaceful resolve only to become ignored, falsely accused, or retaliated against by even worse just barely legal or outright illegal behavior. They moved from a metro area in SE MI and are used to being that way and don't see any need to change their careless co-existence with others. Due to the harsh degree of which he has regarded us I have had to call the city mgmt and regional utility and state capital on several occasions to get the infringements upon us corrected. We live in/retired to an attractive, NORMALLY very laid-back and peaceful port city in mid-northern MI. We will probably never be friends due to our documented history. Because of his false accusations I dare not ever approach him or any family member unless he retracts his false accusation, in document form, and I have stressed that to him and he just doesn't care if we are ever friends. It doesn't matter to him. He is from another world.

I do not share, Miggles, in order to hijack your thread. I only wish to relate. I was forced to obtain correction action above him because what he was doing was destroying my house and infringing upon my property and he would not even respond to my attempts to get him to act or he would postpone action long after the destruction had its way.

If you do not want to have to move or you do not want to have a neighbor who sees you fall having a heart attack and turn around and go inside and contently watch you die or your house burn down while you are away, you NEED to work this out face-to-face in the power and love of the Lord. Totally forget you being there first for eon of years. The law and your city's zoning ordinances do not recognize that and they know it. In fact, new neighbors means that the city/state is going to probably be getting more real estate taxes from them than you if such is taxed in FLA as it is heavily in MI. Our new neighbors are going to be paying twice the RE Taxes than us and are giving the govt an opportunity to raise everyone's in the area RE Taxes, due to it being a new construction.

As many here have suggested, and as impossible as it seems, I also think that you need to work this out face-to-face. Send them a letter (snail mail) and invite them over or ask a good time to come over, attach a gift card to a local restaurant. Proverbs seems to advocate bribery. Look it up. Maybe you can bribe them into a peaceful co-existence. Try not to get into any litigation of any kind, if at all possible. Remember, there are false accusations that they can make these days which can set you up for a real fall; esp if you are right next door. Some people types are VERY keen to these things. Think about how Pres Trump has been set-up and sabotaged over the years. One can make a lie a "truth" if they have time and opportunity to set it up.

Tho a bribe is an illegal payment to do something illegal, I get what you really mean: give to those that do wrong to you.

Ah....that sounds familiar, doesn't it?

1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

or more well known yet:

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. c Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12 NIV


How could we ever (or....always) do this?

To me, I need the prayer Christ gave us to pray, each day, as He instructed:
Matthew 6 NIV

So, in a way, the first step, the main step, the key step, for me, and I think for others, is prayer.

@miggles

 

[RaymondG]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

Would you have liked it if, after trimming their tree, they walked unto your property to remove what fell on your side?

 

[RaymondG]

Had your neighbor composed a post here with your same title......Saying that they hired gardeners who must have left some debris in the adjacent lawn.....And instead of coming to them to explain what happened, their neighbor proceeded to collect the debris, and dispose of it on "my lawn", and then put a "no dumping" sign on "my fence" (after they dumped debris on my lawn, mind you)....

What do you believe we would say about their neighbor?

 

[Ricky M]

Stay away from toxic people.

Make sure you're not one of them .

 

[Ricky M]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

1. Palm fronds drift in the wind. How do you know they dumped them on your yard? The leaves from my neighbors trees fall in our yard, and our leaves fall in theirs. It's called nature.
2. I've never seen palm fronds involved in the act of lawn mowing.
3. If they were dumping on your yard, would they have not dumped the grass clippings there too?

I think you grossly jumped the gun and presented a horrible example of Christ's charge to 'love thy neighbor'.

 

[grampster]

Where did the palm fronds come from? Your tree or his tree? If they fell off your trees and landed in his yard, I've no problem with him throwing them back into your yard. I wouldn't do it, but I'd not have any lost sleep over it if I did. The Christian thing to do is to repay unkindness with kindness. Makes you the better person. Dispose of the fronds yourself with a cheerful mind. The bible goes on to say that when you do repay unkindness with kindness, your place burning coals on their head. I always thought that commentary in the OT Proverbs and also in the NT to be very humorous.

 

[Monksailor]

Tho a bribe is an illegal payment to do something illegal, I get what you really mean: give to those that do wrong to you.
........................................etc.

@miggles

What I was thinking of was:

• Prov 17:8 "A bribe is a charm in the sight of its owner; Wherever he turns, he prospers." NASV or "A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it; wherever he turns he prospers." ESV, and thinking of what kind of people I am dealing with this verse seemed to support using bribery for me,
  
• Isa 1:23a "Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts." ESV and "Your rulers are rebels, partners with thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts." NIV

 

[Halbhh]

What I was thinking of was:

• Prov 17:8 "A bribe is a charm in the sight of its owner; Wherever he turns, he prospers." NASV or "A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it; wherever he turns he prospers." ESV, and thinking of what kind of people I am dealing with this verse seemed to support using bribery for me,
  
• Isa 1:23a "Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts." ESV and "Your rulers are rebels, partners with thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts." NIV

Excellent. Yes, I read both of those in the last couple of years actually. In the 2nd, you get right off the bribe there in Isaiah ch 1 isn't a good thing, but one of the reasons God is going to intervene and punish them.

But the proverb verse is a lot more...interesting, yes? Of course, there is often language meant to wake us up, and we need to be reading in the Proverbs, to get a feel for the style of wording, but this is one that wasn't clear easily. Let's look at more than 1 or 2 translations, and perhaps commentary.

New International Version
A bribe is seen as a charm by the one who gives it; they think success will come at every turn.

English Standard Version
A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it; wherever he turns he prospers.

Berean Study Bible
A bribe is a charm to its giver; wherever he turns, he succeeds.

New American Standard Bible
A bribe is a charm in the sight of its owner; Wherever he turns, he prospers.

Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers
(8) A gift is as a precious stone . . .--A description of the influence of bribery:--A bribe is as a jewel in the eyes of him that receives it; whithersoever he turns he prospers: all his energies are called out by the prospect of gain, so that he carries out successfully all that he sets his hand to. The constant warnings against this form of corruption, from the time of Moses (Exodus 23:8) to that of the prophets (Amos 5:12; Isaiah 1:23, &c), show the prevalence of the evil in Israel.


Pulpit Commentary
Verse 8. - There is a breath of satire in this verse. A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it. "A precious stone" is literally "a stone of grace" (Proverbs 1:9). The gnome expresses the idea that a bribe is like a bright jewel that dazzles the sight and affects the mind of him who receives it (see on Proverbs 15:27; comp. Deuteronomy 16:19; 1 Samuel 12:3). Ovid, 'Art. Amat.,' 3:653 -

All from Biblehub here: Proverbs 17:8 A bribe is a charm to its giver; wherever he turns, he succeeds.

Here we can notice how the NIV brings out the meaning better. Interestingly the NIV included Jewish scholars in the translation team. This was an advantage here I think over other translation teams.

I think I'm sidetracking us a little.

The more important passage here is the Romans 12 NIV passage above in post 45.

 

[Ricky M]

A recent windstorm knocked several branches off our and the neighbors trees. After gathering ours in a pile for disposal, I grabbed my neighbors as well and put them on our pile to take care of. Didn't think twice about it, and I know they've done the same for us.

In fact, when we are gone they blow the snow off our driveway and walks for us. I keep saying we'll hire someone to do it, but they keep insisting they don't mind. So when we're in town, I repay the favor and clear their drive and walks for them. Then one or the other of us clears the elderly couple down the street's property.

My other neighbor was sick so after I mowed our lawn I mowed theirs. When I was sick, they picked up our mail and delivered it to us.

This is how neighbors are supposed to act. Not with signs and retribution.

 

[miggles]

1. Palm fronds drift in the wind. How do you know they dumped them on your yard? The leaves from my neighbors trees fall in our yard, and our leaves fall in theirs. It's called nature.
2. I've never seen palm fronds involved in the act of lawn mowing.
3. If they were dumping on your yard, would they have not dumped the grass clippings there too?

I think you grossly jumped the gun and presented a horrible example of Christ's charge to 'love thy neighbor'.

it looked more like a dumping to me. but you could be right. the timing was suspect. thanks for your input. i can love my neighbors but not their actions.

 

[miggles]

Would you have liked it if, after trimming their tree, they walked unto your property to remove what feel on your side?

not sure what you mean.

 

[miggles]

Thank you. We are moving after I get house updated. It is too bad as we are only 4 blocks from Lk MI where there is Stearns Park with a 1/3 mile hikable break water with a Lighthouse at the end and the Badger car ferry one can cross Lk MI to WI 60 miles away. The roads from my house are VERY bike friendly esp including the 7 mile road along Lk MI north of town to the State Park. The home has all we wanted in a home esp TONS of custom storage. We can hear the waves rolling ashore on windier days. Midwest Living magazine voted our State Park to be the best in the Midwest. (Visitors Guide to Ludington on Lake Michigan) But that is OK. It has a bsmt gar and in 10-20 yrs stairs may not be navigable. It is better we move now than in that advanced age. I hope your situation goes much better. The new neighbors have a LOT of money and much influence with the city, possibly a relative in city hall?

It significantly enriches MI gomnt to not let people live in a home long. The longer one resides in a home the relatively lower their taxes but as soon as they leave and sell the home the govmnt can legitably bring the taxable value up from where it remained to current market values. I heard once that that is why MI started taxing pension checks and tried to also tax SS checks. Getting rid of the older residents or making them move would be a VERY profitable undertaking for the govmnt. RE Taxes in Mi, for example, are TEN times more than in AL, possibly the primary source of revenue for MI. Many Sr Cit in MI "snowbird" and migrate south for the winter due to the aging affect on their bodies making colder weather harder to endure and slipping on ice much more hazardous, taking half of their annual spending elsewhere but costing them the expense and trouble of having two homes a great distance apart. Taxing their pensions could easily be the hair breaking the camel's back to force them to move south, permanently, since this new taxation initiative from our last Gov probably many have. Our present Gov promised on her election campaign to reverse such taxation targeting sr. cit but all it was is words.

maybe that neighbor intentionally made life miserable for you at the behest of the local gov. to get you to move. maybe they do that all the time. i think it's horrible. sounds like a wonderful geographic spot. you should move to florida. like weeki wachee, fla., or celebration fla. lots of nice waterfront living and WARM. lol.

 

[RaymondG]

not sure what you mean.

Would you mind if the new neighbors came on your property, without you knowing why at first, walk on your lawn to remove fronds that had fallen from their side?

 

[miggles]

Had your neighbor composed a post here with your same title......Saying that they hired gardeners who must have left some debris in the adjacent lawn.....And instead of coming to them to explain what happened, their neighbor proceeded to collect the debris, and dispose of it on "my lawn", and then put a "no dumping" sign on "my fence" (after they dumped debris on my lawn, mind you)....

What do you believe we would say about their neighbor?

i saw the owner mowing his yard. so it wasn't workers. but i get your point. thank you.

 

[chilehed]

Palm fronds drift in the wind.

Ummm... only in weather that's too bad to be mowing the lawn in. They're not like maple leaves, it takes a lot of wind to get those things to go anywhere other than straight down.

 

[Halbhh]

When someone does something wrong towards us, we have a clear instruction:

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.
Luke 6 NIV