new neighbor blues

[miggles]

i agree. (((hug)))

thank you, good friend. hugs.

 

[brinny]

thank you.

You are most welcome. May God mooooove as only HE can in this situation (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

thank you, good friend. hugs.

You are most welcome my friend (((hug)))

 

[Albion]

the sign and the fronds are gone. but it was their fence i put the sign on.

Their fence. Ouch.

Anyway, you probably made your point, since they removed the fronds after you threw them back and did so without any additional provocation. Why they didn't acknowledge you when you both were outside, we cannot say. Language problems, maybe.

But as it stands at the present, I would not do anything more right now since that could unnecessarily provoke them. If something ELSE happens, then you'll have to rethink, of course.

What I always try to keep in mind when these kinds of things happen is that it could become MUCH worse if some tit-for-tat sets in. Don't let that happen, if at all possible, would be my advice.

(Do you remember the movie, War of the Roses, with Michael Douglas and, I think, Kathleen Turner?)

 

[brinny]

i pray that God encourages you and is the Lifter of your head, in the midst of all of this, and that He quelches any plans of the enemy to cause you unrest and discouragement, as HE works it out behind the scenes, as only HE can. (((hug)))

 

[miggles]

Their fence. Ouch.

Anyway, you probably made your point, since they removed the fronds after you threw them back and did so without any additional provocation. Why they didn't acknowledge you when you both were outside, we cannot say. Language problems, maybe.

But as it stands at the present, I would not do anything more right now since that could unnecessarily provoke them. If something ELSE happens, then you'll have to rethink, of course.

What I always try to keep in mind when these kinds of things happen is that it could become MUCH worse if some tit-for-tat sets in. Don't let that happen, if at all possible, would be my advice.

(Do you remember the movie, War of the Roses, with Michael Douglas and, I think, Kathleen Turner?)

i think you are right. no tit for tat. i don't think they are that kind of people tho. they seem well-adjusted with money. i never saw war of the roses. sounds interesting.

 

[Josheb]

thank you for the scriptures. i used to do that with some other neighbors who did same thing. and it got worse and worse. even when i asked them to stop.

Stay away from toxic people. Let them prove themselves toxic and then you'll know. Although this next passage was written about conflicts within the body of Christ its principle is applicable to all.

Titus 3:9-11
"avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned."​

Some folks just won't be neighborly. Make sure you're not one of them .

 

[miggles]

Stay away from toxic people. Let them prove themselves toxic and then you'll know. Although this next passage was written about conflicts within the body of Christ its principle is applicable to all.

Titus 3:9-11
"avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned."​

Some folks just won't be neighborly. Make sure you're not one of them .

that passage seems to say it's ok to warn. i wonder if the Almighty approves my brand of warning. lol.

 

[Josheb]

that passage seems to say it's ok to warn. i wonder if the Almighty approves my brand of warning. lol.

Here's what I teach my clients about life and healthy relationships:

I) Life functions on relationships. We do not have relationship where we have disagreement.

II) Relationships function on A) goals, B) boundaries, and C) expectations.

II.A) Goals: if you don't know where you're going you won't get there.

II.B) Boundaries don't just define right from wrong; they also define me, where I begin and end. Boundaries must be firm but flexible. If they are too rigid they keep the problem inside and if they are too porous they keep the problem visited upon us from outside.

II.C) Expectations must be 1) conscious, 2) mutually shared or agreed upon, and 3) spoken. If you don't know your own expectations for others you'll only frustrate yourself. Expectations that aren't shared or agreed upon will also frustrate you. The only way you'll know they are known, shared, and/or agreed upon is if they are spoken.​

Remember: this is all about fronds in your yard. If your neighbor was a great neighbor in all other regards would you be willing to suffer the occasional fronds in your yard?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

Take the no dumping sign away and let it go. I am sure it was not intentional. They may have hired someone who did a bad job.

 

[fhansen]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

Love and diplomacy first; never assume the worst. There's always time to bring out the big guns. Anyway, the first order of the day would be conversation.

 

[Aldebaran]

it's an electric gate with speaker. i'd have to ask permission to come in.

Now that the fronds and sign are gone, it looks like they got the message. If they dump anything on your property in the future, you could write them a letter and send it to them. That way your communication with them will be in writing, but not in person where a confrontation might result.

 

[Monksailor]

We have gained some new extremely inconsiderate and uncooperative neighbors. I have tired to talk and negotiate a peaceful resolve only to become ignored, falsely accused, or retaliated against by even worse just barely legal or outright illegal behavior. They moved from a metro area in SE MI and are used to being that way and don't see any need to change their careless co-existence with others. Due to the harsh degree of which he has regarded us I have had to call the city mgmt and regional utility and state capital on several occasions to get the infringements upon us corrected. We live in/retired to an attractive, NORMALLY very laid-back and peaceful port city in mid-northern MI. We will probably never be friends due to our documented history. Because of his false accusations I dare not ever approach him or any family member unless he retracts his false accusation, in document form, and I have stressed that to him and he just doesn't care if we are ever friends. It doesn't matter to him. He is from another world.

I do not share, Miggles, in order to hijack your thread. I only wish to relate. I was forced to obtain correction action above him because what he was doing was destroying my house and infringing upon my property and he would not even respond to my attempts to get him to act or he would postpone action long after the destruction had its way.

If you do not want to have to move or you do not want to have a neighbor who sees you fall having a heart attack and turn around and go inside and contently watch you die or your house burn down while you are away, you NEED to work this out face-to-face in the power and love of the Lord. Totally forget you being there first for eon of years. The law and your city's zoning ordinances do not recognize that and they know it. In fact, new neighbors means that the city/state is going to probably be getting more real estate taxes from them than you if such is taxed in FLA as it is heavily in MI. Our new neighbors are going to be paying twice the RE Taxes than us and are giving the govt an opportunity to raise everyone's in the area RE Taxes, due to it being a new construction.

As many here have suggested, and as impossible as it seems, I also think that you need to work this out face-to-face. Send them a letter (snail mail) and invite them over or ask a good time to come over, attach a gift card to a local restaurant. Proverbs seems to advocate bribery. Look it up. Maybe you can bribe them into a peaceful co-existence. Try not to get into any litigation of any kind, if at all possible. Remember, there are false accusations that they can make these days which can set you up for a real fall; esp if you are right next door. Some people types are VERY keen to these things. Think about how Pres Trump has been set-up and sabotaged over the years. One can make a lie a "truth" if they have time and opportunity to set it up.

 

[Halbhh]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

A friend is saying you should take them a dozen cookies and say hello, and welcome them to the neighborhood, with love. (do it when you can do it with real forgiveness and love) Perhaps you can ring the bell, and if there is a speaker, you can say "delivery for you!"

 

[dqhall]

i have new neighbors i haven't met yet but today i noticed palm fronds in my yard after they mowed. i threw them back and put a 'no dumping' sign on fence. a friend said i should've called the police.

did i do right?

Probably better to set them out for trash removal on trash pick up day.

 

[Monksailor]

Cookies are good. I love them, most all kinds. Strange, today young folk have very different ideas for normal diets and desserts and there are so many special diets and allergies out there and you hinted at your new neighbors possibly being from a foreign land? Your relationship sounds like it has already started out on the wrong foot. When you give an "enemy" a gift I would think that it best not to give them something which communicates that it is something which you have determined is good for them but something which offers the most grace in allowing them to choose; from a gift card to their grocery store to one for a specialty shop which they frequent or would if they could. As you give it communicate genuine goodwill that they get something that they really love. On that note, if they are foreigners they may have certain deeply integrated social customs at play here, too, just as my city/metro dweller but hopefully not on the anti-social shape of things just different ways and timetables of doing things.

 

[crossnote]

i believe in nipping things in the bud. my experience with the human being has taught me that. lol.

I'm usually like that too. But you also have to look at the long-range consequences in this case...you may be living next to them for a loooooong time.

 

[miggles]

Remember: this is all about fronds in your yard. If your neighbor was a great neighbor in all other regards would you be willing to suffer the occasional fronds in your yard?

yes, if i can throw them back.

 

[miggles]

We have gained some new extremely inconsiderate and uncooperative neighbors. I have tired to talk and negotiate a peaceful resolve only to become ignored, falsely accused, or retaliated against by even worse just barely legal or outright illegal behavior. They moved from a metro area in SE MI and are used to being that way and don't see any need to change their careless co-existence with others. Due to the harsh degree of which he has regarded us I have had to call the city mgmt and regional utility and state capital on several occasions to get the infringements upon us corrected. We live in/retired to an attractive, NORMALLY very laid-back and peaceful port city in mid-northern MI. We will probably never be friends due to our documented history. Because of his false accusations I dare not ever approach him or any family member unless he retracts his false accusation, in document form, and I have stressed that to him and he just doesn't care if we are ever friends. It doesn't matter to him. He is from another world.

I do not share, Miggles, in order to hijack your thread. I only wish to relate. I was forced to obtain correction action above him because what he was doing was destroying my house and infringing upon my property and he would not even respond to my attempts to get him to act or he would postpone action long after the destruction had its way.

If you do not want to have to move or you do not want to have a neighbor who sees you fall having a heart attack and turn around and go inside and contently watch you die or your house burn down while you are away, you NEED to work this out face-to-face in the power and love of the Lord. Totally forget you being there first for eon of years. The law and your city's zoning ordinances do not recognize that and they know it. In fact, new neighbors means that the city/state is going to probably be getting more real estate taxes from them than you if such is taxed in FLA as it is heavily in MI. Our new neighbors are going to be paying twice the RE Taxes than us and are giving the govt an opportunity to raise everyone's in the area RE Taxes, due to it being a new construction.

As many here have suggested, and as impossible as it seems, I also think that you need to work this out face-to-face. Send them a letter (snail mail) and invite them over or ask a good time to come over, attach a gift card to a local restaurant. Proverbs seems to advocate bribery. Look it up. Maybe you can bribe them into a peaceful co-existence. Try not to get into any litigation of any kind, if at all possible. Remember, there are false accusations that they can make these days which can set you up for a real fall; esp if you are right next door. Some people types are VERY keen to these things. Think about how Pres Trump has been set-up and sabotaged over the years. One can make a lie a "truth" if they have time and opportunity to set it up.

i'm so sorry that happened to you. do you still live there? your info is something i will keep in mind. thanks.

 

[miggles]

Probably better to set them out for trash removal on trash pick up day.

the neighbors or the fronds? lol.