New here

[veryscared]

I just wanted to say hi. I am new here and I am having some scary doubts about my belief in God. I am caught in that vicious circle of trying to prove God exist and Jesus is my savior. It's very scary for me. I am afraid that if I let the thoughts go that I will stop believing and something bad will happen to my family or friends or me. I even feel bad for posting these words. I never doubted God until my OCD showed up. Now, it's just one of those things I can't get over.

I've never been much of a church goer because when I was younger my parents attended a church that focused on punishment for doing bad things. I was always scared of going to hell. As I grew up, I started to develop my own beliefs that if I am a good person and believe in Jesus and God that I would be OK because God knows what is in my heart.

I still pray every night and I still thank God for my wonderful family and the many blessings I have. It's just that sometimes, many times, I feel like I am faking it. I hate that. It makes me so miserable. I guess my biggest question is if I let these thoughts go, am I going to stop believing in God. Should I let them go?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Jesusisgood]

hey! i know exactly how you feel. I had obessive thoughts that used to scare me and i thought,"if i do this my friend will die' kind of thoughts. I know how scary it is and i will pray for you. Dont worry though, God DOES know your heart and sometimes the enemy tries to make us feel guilty like "oh you did this now your going to hell thoughts" but as long as you have repented and confessed it to God sins are gone forever. God loves you so much and would only punishes us like a loving Father corrects His child that He loves. He would never want you to feel like you can't approach Him. He knows exactly how you feel and is ready to help if you trust that He will hear you. I had trouble trusting God because I thought that my ocd would happen but if you take it to the Lord He will take care of you. I can tell that you ARE His child and you really do love the Lord. Try reading the Bible every night or when ever you have relaxing time. This is feeding your Spirit and helps you know God a little better. Big Hugs)
i hope this helped

 

[justpassingthrough21]

This can happen to just about any kind of believer I found out. I actually had someone tell me they thought I had a special gift of faith because I really just lived by faith in Christ for a few years. And the doubts started coming and I felt as though the 15 years of my knowing Him, never even existed. This created severe fear and anxiety like your talking about. I'm not sure how old you are but you really need to get in a good Bible believing church. Your beliefs are very true, having faith in Christ makes you born again. When you believe in Christ and are a child of God, you don't sin anymore. Yes you commit sins but they aren't held against you as sin anymore.
My Pastor always says when you mess up "1st John 1:9 it". Which is confessing your short comings and failings and moving on. The more you pray, read your Bible, and have the Word preached to you; the faster you will get through this dark valley. Your not a horrible person for your thoughts, and you aren't less of Gods child. For example if my little boy came up to me and said "dad I don't feel like you are my dad anymore, so I must not be your child anymore". Well that wouldn't change anything, he is still my son whether he feels like he is or not. Any if you have at some point given your life to Jesus and though you followed Him for years and years, your sudden doubts don't just automatically cut you off.
That took my almost a year to really get down in my heart and believe, but now I truly do believe that and everything I though would never be healed, God is now healing. Im just giving you my story because I know that I am getting through it and I believe you can too.
~Aaron

 

[veryscared]

Thanks to both of you for your replies. I went through this same thing several years ago after I had my daughter and then I started taking medicine, Prozac, and I was able to get through it. About two years ago, the Prozac quit working for me in that I started having panic attacks and getting very anxious again. So, I've tried several other meds and nothing seems to help like the Prozac did. I think the new med I am on, Lexapro, kind of leaves me numb and that's why I feel like I am being a fake to God. But, I have decided that no matter how numb I feel or no matter what doubts I have, I will always pray and hope that God is OK with that. That is all I know to do for now. Just keep praying.

One other thing is that I am scared to go to church because I am afraid I will get obsessive about it. Another reason I don't go to church is because I am scared that I will start to explore my spirituality and not find anything there. I know that sounds bad, but that is how I feel. I am just so glad that God led me to this site and I have people I can share my feelings with because I don't think most people would understand.

 

[Jesusisgood]

One other thing is that I am scared to go to church because I am afraid I will get obsessive about it. Another reason I don't go to church is because I am scared that I will start to explore my spirituality and not find anything there. I know that sounds bad, but that is how I feel. I am just so glad that God led me to this site and I have people I can share my feelings with because I don't think most people would understand.

((hugs))I know exactly how you feel with that too! My medicine makes me feel numb and i am actually going through the same thing you are. also I sometimes feel afraid also to let people know i have ocd because my thoughts dont make sense to somepeople. Its good that you came to this site and were all happy to help. As for church, i would try going back to church.It was weird because last Sunday my pastor sounded like he was talking directly to me and i dont really know him because im a little new to the church so he had no way of knowing about my ocd. I kid you not, he was teaching us to "TRUST God and that when we get these THOUGHTS that if I do this this will happen, we shouldnt worry. God is our loving Father and NOTHING can separate YOU from the love of God. I was like "HoW DID HE KNOW!!" but i know it was all God!!! Jesus is Amazing!" So trust in Him and know he is going to protect you and He is real and there all the time. Even if we aren't faithful he is faithful. God bless you

 

[justpassingthrough21]

I know the fear you have about going to church. Isn't it crazy how you can have such a strong desire to serve and know God, and yet be afraid of His house. I know because my biggest obsessive thing was having anxiety over the name of Jesus. And in all of my heart I wanted to know Him and serve Him, yet I had these emotional reactions that were opposite of how my heart felt.
I kept going to church and listening to praise and worship and everything every other Christian in this world does. Slowely but surely God is restoring my mind and emotions. I always did what my fears told me not to do. If going to church or listening to praise and worship made me feel so much anxiety about Jesus, I would do it 10 times normal. Whatever caused me pain I did it as much as I could, because I refused to let myself be control by fears. Well praise God it has almost been 1 year since this began and things are 100 times better. Just do what the Bible says is right.

 

[shelovesChrist]

hey,

if it helps im also in a storm of doubt myself. it started when my natural mind tried to figure out the trinity and while my spirit believed and understood, my natural mind kept kicking it. it feels so bad, and it feels continuous, but one thing i do know, Just as Jesus was with me through the battle with intrusive thoughts, He's with me now. dont be afraid that He'll leave you. and dont be afraid to get closer to Him. go to church. you'll feel so much closer, around the saints of God, they'll encourage you and inspire you to continue. the more the disciples chose to walk with Him, the more closer they got with Him. dont be afraid to walk toward Him, step out on the water, because even when we slip, He'll catch us and He did Peter. praying for you. you're not alone. draw nigh to Him, as the Bible says, and He'll draw nigh to us (=

 

[shelovesChrist]

and i also suffered from intrusive thoughts, they have no power over me now, when they used to come i used to get so much anxiety and fear, but even today a few came but i just layed in bed unaffected, it gets brighter, dont worry, sometimes it felt every day i was slipping deeper and deeper in depression but really, i was getting closer and closer to my breakthrough. and always pray, tell God how you feel, take to His feet, adn leave it there, whenever it gets too heavy, and keep going. and through out the day if it comes and it gets heavy again, too heavy and it seems you're going to fall, just take it to Him again. He has bore our burdens already

 

[veryscared]

Thanks to everyone. I do believe that finding a church that focuses on the positive aspects of having God in my life would be good for me. I'm just a little nervous about it. I will continue to keep praying and thanking God for my blessings, no matter what.

 

[shelovesChrist]

I will continue to keep praying and thanking God for my blessings, no matter what.


=)

pressing forward even when it hurts, even when you dont understand, even when your mind and the physical is pointing in a whole other direction. true faith (=

 

[Tredoslop]

veryscared, I will pray for you, but I would suggest and encourage you to find a good church. It is important for Christians to not skip out on any corporate spiritual life and corporate worship. We were created for fellowship, with 1) God, and 2), other Christians. Don't worry, you're not the only who feels 'bad' for going to church. Right now, I'm going bad, I can't work out some of the feelings of whatever I face there.

And if your doubts persist, I would suggest looking into some apologetics. I suggest William Lane Craig and some others such as Richard Swinburne, Alvin Plantinga, James Porter Moreland and a host of other apologists who have been trained in philosophy. And as a reminder, you don't need absolute certainty if that's what you mean by 'prove'. All you need, to borrow Dr. Craig's words, is for Christianity to be more plausibly more true than it's denial (the claim that Christianity is false).

 

[amandita]

Hi there dear!

I am in the same exact spot you are in. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with all of this, but I just want to encourage you and let you know that you are not alone! Finding a good body of believers to fellowship with will help, I think. I felt like you at first. I was afraid that I would become obsessive about my church attendance and things like that, but it hasn't gone in that direction at all. In fact, I don't know how I would get through some days without the support from a few specific people at my church, including my pastor, who know my struggle with OCD and always point me back to Jesus and the cross. You will be in my prayers.

 

[RuthD]

I have found that the medicine Geodon takes some of my OCD thoughts away--the worst ones. But I still struggle thinking I am doing wrong when I did something good, etc, doubts. Doubts are a big part of OCD. I have to change my thoughts when I get them. Instead of thinking I did something wrong (when I did something good) I will try to think that I did the best I could. I hope this post helps you. I know how terrifying OCD can be. God bless you.

 

[VZ2011]

it sounds like you are experiencing a form of spiritual OCD. Extreme spiritual fearfulness (over blasphemy & going to hell) & doubting (even while you are pursing God, reading his word, and in prayer)are forms of spiritual OCD. They and other racing negative fearful thoughts are the result of a vitamin deficiency which causes a chemical imbalance in the brain and is treatable with extreme daily doses of vitamines. If you or a loved one experience extreme spiritual fearfulness, Bi-Polar, manic depression, OCD or schizophrenia tendancies (paranoia, visual hallucinations, hearing voices), depression, insomnia, racing thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety, other mental distresses, do yourself a favor and reasearch depression, schizophrenia, OCD vitamin and orthomolecular therapy and the work of a canadian doctor named Abram Hoffer. Basically he developed a treatment (that truly WORKS) with Vitamines. It's a minimal cost to incur to invest in your physical and mental AND SPIRITUAL wellness. I am not peddling anyone's vitamines. You can get any brand at Walmart or a grocery store or a vitamine store on line. These Vitamin supplements have been a tremendous help to my relative and myself who continue to experience greater and greater healing each day that we continue with this vitamine therapy. Relief comes within the first couple of days and continues as you continue to take the vitamine supplements. You must take them for the rest of your life or risk a relapse.

1000 mg niacian daily (get a combination of flush-free and regular niacin) the regular will cause you to flush--(you will get red and hot but this means it is working--the longer it takes you to flush the more you needed it. the redness goes away in about 15 minutes. The flush-free niacin will not make you flush. only take the Niacin in such a high dose for a few days if you are having extreme trouble controlling thoughts and/or experiencing sleeplessness. If you start to feel nauceaous, lower the dosage or skip a day altogether with it, then take a "normal" dosage, like 100-500 mg. An extremely high dose like 2000-3000 mg is for when things get extremely uncontrollable and it should only be temporary. It's too much to take regularly. After a day or two you could start to feel naucious from that much, but it will jumpstart the seratonin in your brain to help you relax and control your thoughts, then you can lower it to 500.

2000-3000 mg Vitamine C take 1000 mg 3x a day

HTP5 - At least 100 mg daily

Vitamine B 8 - (inisitol) - 10-18g per day depending on severity of your OCD (it's alot but take it)

Vitamine B combo vitamine 2 or 3 per day (with B1, B6, B12)

Essential Omega Fats (with fish oil and flax) take 2-3 per day.

Results will be notable within a day or two, with the greatest results starting at around 6 weeks of taking these.

Swear off all junk food, all artificial sweetners, all refined white sugar products, all alcohol, eat GOOD NUTRITIOUS FOOD, fresh and frozen vegetables, fruits, unsweetned fruit juice, filtered water or spring water, cut down on caffeine. Going gluetin free is also good but it's not necessary for everyone.

Please research these things on line yourself as I am not allowed to post URLs on this site. I would have posted them if I could have.

Please, also understand that you must honor Jesus Christ and trust his shed blood and ressurection fully for salvation. Read the word daily and pray, and live according to biblical principals and this along with proper nutrition, will eliminate spiritual OCD and extreme spiritual fearfulness.

 

[VZ2011]

Father, i pray for this child of yours in Jesus name, I pray you give the revelation of the love and the sound mind that Jesus provides, and the wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit if we but ask. I pray a willingness for this child to receive wisdom from you for this situation, to forgive all who have hurt or wronged him or her, I pray a willingness to come before you humbly in prayer and spending time in your word to receive the blessings, the help and encouragement you said you would give to those who seek you diligently and with all their heart. I come against the schemes of the devil, i come against all false doctrines, i come against all evil, wicked spirits of deception, confusion and fear, and I also come against spiritual and physical nutritional deficiency ignorance. Please open the eyes and ears of this child, and give them the desire to want the good and hate the evil and want will help them and disdain that which harms them in the forms of food, drugs, thoughts, deeds, and imaginations. I come against all wicked spirits in high places that have come against this child of yours, I come against all confusion, all fear, i come against any spiritual apathy, hopelessness, lack of faith, I speak healing and health to this child of yours, spirit, mind, and body, in Jesus name, because of what Jesus has done for us with his suffering and dying and being raised from the dead. By his stripes we WERE healed. It's already finished. I pray this child of yours receives that revelation today and enters into the fullness of wellness and spiritual healing you have for him or her. In Jesus name, I thank and praise You Lord, for you are good and You yourself have said, "IT IS FINISHED" you overcame the devil and made us more than conquerors, and I pray this child receives the revelation of that, receives courage from you and help from Your precious Holy Spirit and good angels from above. Thank you Lord. You are good and you keep your promises. Reveal yourself as the bread of life to this child and increase their appetite for You and all your peace, truth and love, for he who you set free is free indeed, set this child free now and forevermore, I overcome the darkness by faith and prayer in your name, and receive your light for this child now, in Jesus name.