New cat owner; could use some tips

dzheremi

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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

anastasia.jpg


(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)
 

GreekOrthodox

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We once got two brothers who hid in a closet together for the first two weeks, only coming out for food and the litter box. Eventually, they started creeping out little by little until they took over the house. Miss those two boys deeply.
 
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Some fearless cats want to explore right away. Others may take up to a week to feel comfortable in a new house. What we usually do is limit them to one room with their food and litter until they feel like it is their territory. This is because our house is about 2500 square feet and have more than one cat. It might not be so important in a smaller apartment. It's important in the beginning to know where they are hiding.

Go in occasionally and just sit there for a while so they get used to you, especially right after you bring them food. After a couple of days, try to entice them to follow you dragging a string, shoelace or yarn, which for some weird reason seems to be a universal toy for cats. If the cat's really afraid, don't try to grab it, entice it closer and closer to you with the string or a treat. Eventually, they will become hungrier than they are afraid, but they might wait you out in the beginning.
 
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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

View attachment 306296

(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)
Patience. Our cat did not eat for a day or two. She found a safe spot on a chair under a table. I started giving her small bits of cooked chicken. She took them off me after a while. One day, I lifted the table cloth so she could see who was giving it to her. She freaked. A little while later, when all was quiet, she stuck her nose out to see what was going on. It was not long before she was happy in the home.

I suggest no other cats. They are territorial and it usually ends in tears. We made that mistake and we had to give one up.

Be careful if you pick them up. Don't drop them or worse, throw them. They need to know you are safe. Don't overload them with new things. We have a scratch pole that she ignored for weeks. Now it's her go to place, apart from my lap.

Play with your cat. I tried a few things. Expensive toys were a complete waste of money. Her preferred toy is a leather lace, 3 ft long. I drag it along and she chases it like it was alive.

Our cat is a long haired Siamese. She has to be brushed daily. I have an overpriced rubber brush that she loves. It works fine too.

Cats have moods. Sleep is the most common. She likes attention for a time then she'll let you know "enough". Most cats won't overeat but there are exceptions. I feed her twice a day with decent quality cat food. She has wet food, and some dry to help with her teeth.

She likes to be stroked for a while then she says "that's enough". You will start to understand your cat after a little while. Cats do like company as well as solitude. You have to earn a cat's affection. Maybe that's why some people prefer dogs. I'm not a dog person.
 
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Michie

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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

View attachment 306296

(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)
I’ve adopted many kittens and cats through our org. here. The best thing you can do is try not to crowd here. Give her time and space to get used to your routine and her new surrounding. It could take as long as a month. Little healthy treat and maybe a little catnip. She just does not feel it’s her space yet. Plus, you have to take into account everything she has previously been through. It’s a lot of trauma for them. She just feels very insecure right now. Prayers that she adapts and is feeling very happy and secure soon. Thank you for rescuing her! :)
 
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GreekOrthodox

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She likes to be stroked for a while then she says "that's enough". You will start to understand your cat after a little while. Cats do like company as well as solitude. You have to earn a cat's affection. Maybe that's why some people prefer dogs. I'm not a dog person.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
 
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miamited

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Well, I got a new cat from the local shelter about a year ago. He was a feral cat, but only about 2 months old according to the shelter's records. He has one ear clipped which they told me was how they identified that feral cats had been spayed or neutered. Now, apparently, when people find wild cats around they can tell if they're going to be the last of their generation and not produce another 100 cats before they die.

Anyway, he's been a good companion and settled in pretty quickly. He did spend the first couple of days mostly hiding out in a spare bedroom, but I just let him be and kept putting out his food and shortly he just became a part of the family. Now he gets to run free most of the time, but he's always in at night and sleeps right with me on the bed usually. I even took him to Texas a couple of times to visit my son and let him out and he never got lost. About 8-9p.m. each evening he'd be sitting at the door stoop waiting to come in and eat and sleep.

He does have a tendency to rarely lightly bite and scratch, but I figure that's really his way of petting me the way I pet him. It can be just a bit painful and he usually draws a drop or two of blood, but I just say "ow" and he immediately stops.

I wish you the best with your cat. I honestly can't imagine that birds chirping is relaxing to a cat. Most of them I've known go on heightened alert at such sounds. Mine has led to the demise of about a half dozen chipmunks. I really didn't do anything special for my cat beyond giving him a kitty litter box and food and water bowls. I just went about my usual business and he pretty quickly assimilated. However, from the sounds of it, mine was quite a bit younger than yours.

God bless,
Ted
 
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dzheremi

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Take her back and exchange for a dog :p........Woof!

Hahaha. There were some really wonderful dogs there, but unfortunately my apartment is a bit on the small side for one unless I wanted to get one of those tiny rat-sized ones, which I'd rather not.
 
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They generally love to play with string, any boxtop quickly becomes a bed.
The quickest way to get a cat to come to you is to have some papers or a book laying out that you are trying to read, they will quickly plop themselves on top of them.

Hairbands or rubberbands or similar are also favorite toys (I'm not sure, a rubberband might be a swallowing hazard so I usually stick w hairbands that are similar). Taught my cat to play fetch w me when I would shoot it down the hallway, he would bring it back.
 
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As many have already mentioned, play is something that will help pull her out of her shell. Just be cautious she doesn't play with something that could hurt her if she swollowed it. You can find the type of inexpensive toy that has a stick and elastic-ish string with some sort of critter on the end of the string. It bounces around like prey and since cats are hunters they really enjoy chasing it. Again, just be careful she doesn't rip it up and eat parts of it. Best wishes for much happiness with your new little girl.
 
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Tigger45

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I rented a two bedroom nice apartment in a good neighborhood from my sister for relatively cheap. mysteriously soon after I moved in she needed me to care for a couple of cats for her which is fine because I like animals.

Once my sister dropped them off they both immediately hid under the bed in the spare bedroom. I ended up putting their litter box, food and water in that room and just left them alone. Mind you I lived alone and worked all day which makes for a peaceful environment.

The more outgoing male started greeting me after about a week but the female took almost a month.

Just give your new cat time and space and it will work when it’s ready.
 
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klutedavid

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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

View attachment 306296

(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)
My brother came home with a kitten from work. Too many people in our house for a kitten to find a quiet place to hide. Mwhaaaa.

From the moment my brother put the kitten down on the floor, it was non-stop fun and games for the kitten. The kitten was sound asleep by 7-00 o'clock. My brother's girlfriend arrived, a half an hour later, and that was the end of the nap for the kitten.

Kittens don't need quiet places to adjust. Foot to the floor and they love it.
 
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Michie

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My brother came home with a kitten from work. Too many people in our house for a kitten to find a quiet place to hide. Mwhaaaa.

From the moment my brother put the kitten down on the floor, it was non-stop fun and games for the kitten. The kitten was sound asleep by 7-00 o'clock. My brother's girlfriend arrived, a half an hour later, and that was the end of the nap for the kitten.

Kittens don't need quiet places to adjust. Foot to the floor and they love it.
This is a different situation. You can’t broad brush these situations or animals. I volunteer with an animal org. Every case is different.
 
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klutedavid

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This is a different situation. You can’t broad brush these situations or animals. I volunteer with an animal org. Every case is different.
Don't pamper a cat.

They are nocturnal killing machines.

Cats kill for sport and not just for survival.

Cats are the boss in any house.

Kittens in the wild spend all day, chasing, clawing, and biting their brothers and sisters.

Never stare at your cat, they don't like that.

Cats need some attention but not too much, they are loners.

Never rub a cat's tummy, they don't like that.

What our cat loved more than anything else. Was to be carried around the house and the yard. In a PVC tube with a handle. The moment I put the tube on the floor the cat, like lightning, was in the tube. You could walk around for an hour and for some reason the cat never got bored. Just make sure that you walk around close to everything, so the cat can touch everything that passes by with it's claws.

Vary the cats diet.

Cat's are competitive.

Cats are habitual creatures, they don't like change.

Cats don't like visitors.
 
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comana

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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

View attachment 306296

(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)
I have been the “servant” of many cats. I think you have a good start. I don’t know how much space you have but try to keep the litter in an accessible but quiet space and keep the food and water in a separate quiet space for now. As she becomes more comfortable you can move things around to suite your space.

It is normal for her to be shy at first. Give her all the space she needs and let her come to you. Please never try to seek her out unless you think she may be in a dangerous space. She will eventually come out and start to stay around you and will at some point seek affection. It’s on her terms. Let her tell you how to proceed and you will be best friends.
 
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Michie

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Don't pamper a cat.

They are nocturnal killing machines.

Cats kill for sport and not just for survival.

Cats are the boss in any house.

Kittens in the wild spend all day, chasing, clawing, and biting their brothers and sisters.

Never stare at your cat, they don't like that.

Cats need some attention but not too much, they are loners.

Never rub a cat's tummy, they don't like that.

What our cat loved more than anything else. Was to be carried around the house and the yard. In a PVC tube with a handle. The moment I put the tube on the floor the cat, like lightning, was in the tube. You could walk around for an hour and for some reason the cat never got bored. Just make sure that you walk around close to everything, so the cat can touch everything that passes by with it's claws.

Vary the cats diet.

Cat's are competitive.

Cats are habitual creatures, they don't like change.

Cats don't like visitors.
:rolleyes:
 
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dzheremi

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Follow up question @Michie or others who would mention routine: how important is it that she have some idea of what my routine is? I ask because unfortunately I've suffered from sleeping problems for the last few years due to underlying medical issues, so while I try my hardest to get to sleep at a reasonable hour (say, 11 pm at the very latest), it often does not work out that way because I will have trouble sleeping, and will often wake up several times during the night. So a routine has been very elusive, despite my best efforts.

Just for a (hopefully funny) example of how this is (not) working out with regard to the cat: On her first night home, in an effort to give her as much private time and space as possible, I vacated the front room (where I had confined her to because it's the biggest and also it isn't carpeted, so I wouldn't have to worry too much about clean up if she had an accident due to stress) as soon as it got dark, which it does now around 7:30 pm. In the B.C. (before cat) times, in the evenings I would finish off my day with a light workout of about a half an hour on my exercise bike, which is in the front room, generally finished by 8 pm so that I can get to sleep by 10-11. So yesterday I figured she should get used to the sound of the bike, so I started using it around 7:15 pm. About ten minutes into it, she came strolling out of the cabinet after a day of hiding in there, saw me, froze for a minute and immediately bolted for my bedroom to hide under my bed! For the second that we saw each other I started to say "Hello, it's nice to see you" in as calming a voice as I could muster, but she still had this look of "Oh no -- you're still here?!" on her face. :eek:

So now I'm hiding in my room, since it won't start getting light out for another half hour or so, and I don't want a repeat of yesterday in case she's out and about and thinks she's free of me. Hahaha. Two days in and she's already training me!
 
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Hi everyone!

So yesterday I took the plunge and got a cat from a shelter. She's an adorable little 11 lb grey and white short hair they named Anastasia, and was very sweet and friendly at the shelter. Predictably, though, since getting her home she has been very scared and stressed. She had apparently only been in the shelter for five days before I picked her out, so of course she's out of sorts. I'm just imagining how jarring it would be for me if I had to move twice in under a week...I don't think I'd be feeling okay either!

Just the same, I'm wondering if anyone who has more experience with cats than I do can give me some tips on how I might help her feel a little more relaxed and secure. My apartment is already pretty quiet, though it is a floor unit, so I there isn't really anything I can do about the upstairs neighbors stomping on the cieling. I've tried to put on some supposedly relaxing videos for cats, but she hasn't responded to the birds chirping, brooks bubbling, etc. She has food and water, and she apparently ate a little food last night after I went to bed, though worryingly I see she has yet to use her litterbox.

As I write this, she is actually hiding in one of the kitchen cabinets, since the cabinet door directly underneath the sink doesn't close all the way. I accidentally startled her this morning after I noticed it was slightly more ajar than usual, so I promptly apologized and put a few treats in there for her as a peace offering. I know I shouldn't give her treats in places she shouldn't be in, but she looked so scared and I felt so bad that I felt like I had to do something to show her I was sorry.

Anyway, I know the #1 thing to do is to just give her time and plenty of space, which I'm doing, but if anyone has any ideas beyond that, I'd love to read them. Thank you!

View attachment 306296

(This is a screen cap from the YouTube video I originally found her in a few days ago, since she's certainly not ready for her closeup in person right now! :oops:)

Just time really... little by little she'll come around.

I've had the pleasure of getting cats that were half dead from starvation so their hunger was greater than their fear... that does make things easier.

All in all though, it sounds like your doing everything right. You might try a box with a towel in the bottom of it placed in the living room, make her up a little safe space thats near to you. I did that with our newest kitten. That way he was "safe" but safe in a place where we were until he got used to our sounds and actions.
 
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