new Baptist with idenity and faith isuses

[Lily76_]

Over the last few years i have been fighting idenity issues and problems that i thought was mental health issues but really its demons inside me controling me telling me am going to hell
for a very long time i have been jumping from one false faiths to another but most of the time i want to find peace , i was born catholic but due to trauma i cant remember much of that time where i was a child due to the trauma i didnt really know much of the bible apart from the childrens bible stories i know that Jesus is God and the holy spirit
through out my childhood was subjected to abuse all kinds of abuse when i was 16 i became homeless and i lost faith i became a witch or thats what i labeled myself as but i didnt really do much with it until i met my husband he at the time he had no faith then i jumped faith and became muslim , my dad died ( my dad had nothing to do with the trauma and abuse as he worked nights ) from then i jumped from one false faith to another over and over then i went back to being christian but to an lgbt church where my idenity issues got worse i thought i was a transgender man ( am born female ) went to pride etc but i was still faith jumping then i came across a church that plays praise and worship music and my husband through the other church is christian but will not come to the new church my husband is at the old church
LGBT friends etc I have tried over and over for him to come to the new church but he says no so i cant make him go there

because of everything that happened to me as an adult and child i hear voices and see things i thought it was mental health issues but i dont think it is now av had the mental health issues for years now and nothing helps get rid of the thoughts voices and demons in my head
i take medication av tried to stop taking it but every time i have my husband fights with me about it and get stressed out over it

i want to be bapised as i havent yet got it done as a adult who can choose to became Christian and i have started to read the Bible and learn more about jesus i have asked my husband if i could get bapised but he told me to wait a year before getting it done as he wants me to be going to the new church for a while as he feels this is a phase am going through
i want to get it done sooner but i guess i have to wait a year
my husband dont believe in demons etc but i really think there is something demonic going on with me he believes the drs who want to load me with meds and i dont know if they are damaging me or what

today is thursday and i love getting to the weekend so i can go to church on a Sunday and sing and praise Jesus
am unsure what to do about the voices thoughts and seeing things unsure if it just illness or something else

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Over the last few years i have been fighting idenity issues and problems that i thought was mental health issues but really its demons inside me controling me telling me am going to hell
for a very long time i have been jumping from one false faiths to another but most of the time i want to find peace , i was born catholic but due to trauma i cant remember much of that time where i was a child due to the trauma i didnt really know much of the bible apart from the childrens bible stories i know that Jesus is God and the holy spirit
through out my childhood was subjected to abuse all kinds of abuse when i was 16 i became homeless and i lost faith i became a witch or thats what i labeled myself as but i didnt really do much with it until i met my husband he at the time he had no faith then i jumped faith and became muslim , my dad died ( my dad had nothing to do with the trauma and abuse as he worked nights ) from then i jumped from one false faith to another over and over then i went back to being christian but to an lgbt church where my idenity issues got worse i thought i was a transgender man ( am born female ) went to pride etc but i was still faith jumping then i came across a church that plays praise and worship music and my husband through the other church is christian but will not come to the new church my husband is at the old church
LGBT friends etc I have tried over and over for him to come to the new church but he says no so i cant make him go there

because of everything that happened to me as an adult and child i hear voices and see things i thought it was mental health issues but i dont think it is now av had the mental health issues for years now and nothing helps get rid of the thoughts voices and demons in my head
i take medication av tried to stop taking it but every time i have my husband fights with me about it and get stressed out over it

i want to be bapised as i havent yet got it done as a adult who can choose to became Christian and i have started to read the Bible and learn more about jesus i have asked my husband if i could get bapised but he told me to wait a year before getting it done as he wants me to be going to the new church for a while as he feels this is a phase am going through
i want to get it done sooner but i guess i have to wait a year
my husband dont believe in demons etc but i really think there is something demonic going on with me he believes the drs who want to load me with meds and i dont know if they are damaging me or what

today is thursday and i love getting to the weekend so i can go to church on a Sunday and sing and praise Jesus
am unsure what to do about the voices thoughts and seeing things unsure if it just illness or something else

The bottom line is whether you trust the promises of God that apply to those who receive Christ, or not. That's what true faith is - believing that God's promises in the New Testament are absolutely true and that you can trust and depend on them.

The alternative is to say that the promises are not true and that God is a liar.

There is no real middle ground. It is either one or the other, and you have to choose which one you are going to go with. Where you spend eternity will depend on it.

 

[Jonaitis]

Do you think they are voices, or are they unwanted thoughts? I have heard people attribute one for the other not knowing what is going on.

 

[ajcarey]

I believe from reading your testimony there that it would be very helpful, and actually necessary, for you to kneel down before the Lord and (to the best of your memory) tell Him how you have sinned and departed from His righteous ways, renounce everything evil you've been involved with, and ask Him to wash your sins away through the Lord Jesus and the blood He shed on the cross to redeem you to Himself. Confess Jesus as Lord before Him and tell Him that you want to belong to His Son to be governed by His Word henceforth. Ask Him to remind you of any and all sin and darkness that you've been involved with that you need to confess and renounce but don't remember currently. Throw away everything and anything that belongs to you related to the occult, witchcraft, LGBT symbols, Pagan religions, Islam and any other false faith. Get baptized after you've cleared your heart before God and are wholly intent on belonging to the Lord and being under the authority of His Word. You need to submit to your husband overall, but He doesn't have the right to be submitted to above God when he tells you to do unbiblical things like not get baptized for a year or more when the Biblical practice established by the Apostles is for one to be baptized ASAP after repentance, faith in Christ, and willingness to confess Him publicly as their Lord. But don't argue with your husband even in matters you shouldn't submit to him on. Focus on clearing your heart before the Lord so you have fully stepped out of and renounced everything in the realm of darkness that you might walk wholly in the light of God's Truth. Praying for you.

"He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy." (Proverbs 28:13)

"This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." (1 John 1:5-10)

 

[Lily76_]

to me the way i hear them it like there in the same room with me talking ( well SHOUTING ) I also see them as well i get blaphmous thoughts they said i have OCD as well as Borderline Personality Disorder
they been giving me meds for about 11 years nothing has helped , thats why i think its something else something bad also i see things with half there faces hanging off in a very graphic way shadows ,and what id call demonic ,

 

[Anhelyna]

Lily - just need to remind you that your friends are keeping you in their prayers

 

[Rescued One]

They must have had you on the wrong meds! Tell them your meds didn't work. Praying for you ... it grieves me that so many people suffer like that.

 

[Dropout_Theologian]

Hey Lily, I'm on medication too. I think it helps, perhaps. I also believe in demons and I understand (just a little) that trauma can be rough too. You're among friends here. Stay on the meds, get rid of your other religious/spiritual stuff, and come to Jesus! Though points have been painful, life is better with Him. Praying that your quality of life improves.

 

[Lily76_]

i have had all different meds some anti psychotic and mood stabilisers some anti anxiety
av had 5 different medications in one year am either treatable or its something else its been 11 years and i have lost count how many med changes am either un treatable or its something else

 

[Dropout_Theologian]

I'm sorry to read that, Lily. It could well be demons but I'd advise to stay on the medication as well.

Lord take these demons away from Lily; heal her mind, body, and soul. Make her a witness of your power, that she and others may be blessed.

 

[JohnTh]

i have had all different meds some anti psychotic and mood stabilisers some anti anxiety
av had 5 different medications in one year am either treatable or its something else its been 11 years and i have lost count how many med changes am either un treatable or its something else

Something else. We already discussed that.
However it needs time. First, get rid of anything pagan/wicca and pray with Jesus' prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me".

 

[Anhelyna]

You are always in my prayers Lily

 

[Lily76_]

My husband is refusing to throw the occult and lgbt stuff away he put some of it in a box and locked it he refusing to budge on the subject we are fighting a lot over it

 

[JohnTh]

My husband is refusing to throw the occult and lgbt stuff away he put some of it in a box and locked it he refusing to budge on the subject we are fighting a lot over it

BAD.

However you cannot do now more. Pray for him, pray with Jesus' prayer.
You must behave in such a way so he must understand that he isn't „defeated” if you will burn / bury them, because in fact here isn't a problem of „who wins” or a problem of ideology. Also, is not a proof of hate against any human. It is something of spiritual nature which is pretty serious which affects you (and not only you, I would dare to say) in a very bad way. The lack of effect of medication is a proof.

What he will lose if you will get rid of them?

You can do an experiment: burn them and if in the future you will find that such things are an absolute necessity you can discuss again about the subject.

 

[Striver]

First off, I encourage you to continue to seek professional medical help. I know things are a little different on that side of the pond, but keep at it! I have a lot of family that has struggled over here, and one of the things I've learned is to keep praying and seeking for the right doctors. Sometimes it feels the emotional equivalent of banging your head against a wall, but there is always hope.

It's on my own heart a lot lately, but none of those things define you. Our identity is Christ in the Christian faith and this is often a Baptist emphasis as well. Romans 14:4 is a verse of particular comfort to me when I struggle. I can't promise it will ever get easy, but he can make you stand when it matters. That work is done. All of these identities you have tried and found wanting lead you to that point because they are not fully us.

I don't have too many reservations with baptism. Waiting for a defined period of time is an arbitrary requirement. I would, frankly, speak with those at your current church and let them guide you. I would encourage you to fill the void with counsel and help from Christians at the new place. When Jesus cast out demons, he referenced them coming back if that void is not filled. All of them are subject to him, but sometimes they take extra effort.

May the peace of God be upon you! It seems you are already in a number of prayers here, but add mine to the list as well!

 

[now faith]

The bottom line is whether you trust the promises of God that apply to those who receive Christ, or not. That's what true faith is - believing that God's promises in the New Testament are absolutely true and that you can trust and depend on them.

The alternative is to say that the promises are not true and that God is a liar.

There is no real middle ground. It is either one or the other, and you have to choose which one you are going to go with. Where you spend eternity will depend on it.

Would you advise deliverance?

 

[Dropout_Theologian]

to me the way i hear them it like there in the same room with me talking ( well SHOUTING ) I also see them as well i get blaphmous thoughts they said i have OCD as well as Borderline Personality Disorder
they been giving me meds for about 11 years nothing has helped , thats why i think its something else something bad also i see things with half there faces hanging off in a very graphic way shadows ,and what id call demonic ,

I'm praying for you again, Lily.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Would you advise deliverance?

No, I wouldn't. There is no evidence that would require it. Dr Ed. Murphy, one of the foremost authorities on Spiritual Warfare, advises that deliverance is only appropriate when a demon actually manifests itself through the person. Unless that happens, it is very unwise, and potentially very damaging to assume that a person's struggles is because of a demon. I think a lot of harm has been done to innocent believers through extremists in the deliverance area trying to cast out demons that are just not there.

I would rather encourage a struggling believer to take hold of the promises of God in the Bible and just decide to believe them in spite of how he feels about himself and the world around him. We don't have to feel the presence of God to know that He is with us. The Scripture promise is, no matter what happens, He will never leave us nor forsake us. It also says that the eye of the Lord is upon the righteous and His ears are open to their prayers.

Take note of the verse of the hymn:
"Trust and obey,
For there's no other way,
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey."

 

[Lily76_]

thank you all for posting back and your prayers
my health isnt so great at the moment
the last 24 hours i have been so unwell i been sleeping for most of the last 24 hours
i think might be withdrawal from drink as i relapsed the other night drank a few went back to AA not been to a meeting in the last 24 hours going to one tomorrow hopefully

 

[JohnTh]

i think might be withdrawal from drink as i relapsed the other night drank

Yes - this is it. Do not despair but fight to not do it again. Learn the mechanism and how to fight the addiction.