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KnowledgeSeeker

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Hello everyone!
I am quite confused by this forum, and I hope I put this in the right section, but I'm just going to lay it all out here and hopefully this works out.

I am going to start by saying I dont know what type of christian I am.
I believe in God, heaven, hell, satan, demons, deliverances, god being able to use people to speak to them, that god can speak to anyone who tries to get a relationship with him, I don't really know what else to put here but if anyone wants to ask anymore questions to help me find the term for what I am that would be lovely. It would help me be able to search more things about my beliefs.

Secondly, I'm a female, 21 years old, currently engaged.
God has told me that before I get married he wants to do some work with me because otherwise I will be and literally his words "destroyed". I believe him. He has said my fiance will become some sort of priest and our family will help others. He just really isn't there yet, expected, but he isn't even inching anywhere. I am very easy to anger, I have attitude problems, I have a lot of things that God is going to help me with. My fiance believes in everything just like I do, but I dont get why he isn't taking any steps forward. I know its hard, especially when we both suffer from depression, but Gods supposed to take that away from us the more we seek his help. I've talked to him about doing things he needs to do, but he just doesnt even if it is beneficial.

I have gone to church a good handful of times, God said I will never have my faith shaken about him again and I believe it. I just haven't taken the time to sit down and do things I was supposed to as in reading the bible and trying to strengthen the relationship with him. So here I am about to do so in a room away from my fiance, but I feel so bad being in such a negative place with him right now. We keep having arguments because he wont realize that he has deep seated issues. He admits it to some of them, but overall sees these things as stuff that he doesn't have to work on.

I just don't know what to do with or about him and I know that God will do what he can, but because of free will I don't know how God will get through to him.

Oh I guess that's another thing I should add. I believe God knows all the different paths that could occur in our lives, but doesn't know what we are going to do until we get there, aka free will.

So, yes my fiance could become a priest, but really at any time if he chose to just leave or stop believe and kept hardening his heart then it wont come to pass.

I am just such a naturally negative person and have suffered a lot that I don't know how to make him realize these things. All he cares about is me getting off his case about everything and never getting mad at him. If I changed those two things he would say I was the best fiancee in the world.

So.. I was going to get married next month, but it finally sunk in that getting my life together so that I am what God wants me to be and that helping others also get to heaven is what is most important, not some title that apparently means more than I realize if I am told by God not to get married just yet.


I've said a lot so I will stop here, I feel like there is so much more to say, but hopefully later on I will be less scatter brained. Thank you in advance for reading this and replying if you do. I greatly appreciate it <3
 

food4thought

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Hi KnowledgeSeeker;

Welcome to the forums, and I agree that it can be a bit confusing at first. What kind of church are you currently attending? Do you feel like you are growing spiritually through the ministry of that church? If not, you may need to seek another church with your fiancé.

As for your fiancé, it sounds to me like you should both be attending some pre-marriage counseling with a solid Bible believing pastor. If you're not, I suggest you bring this up with your fiancé and seek out some counseling.

It also sounds to me like you could both benefit from having a mentor, a more mature Christian who you can talk openly with, to disciple you and help guide you in your Christian walk. Can you think of anyone in your life that might be willing to fill that role (close family members probably aren't the best choice)?

Hope this helps.
 
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thesunisout

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I've said a lot so I will stop here, I feel like there is so much more to say, but hopefully later on I will be less scatter brained. Thank you in advance for reading this and replying if you do. I greatly appreciate it <3

Hello sister,

I will address what I think the issue is here, which is that you feel trapped. This is what I am hearing: You believe that your fiance needs to change so that the future you have planned will happen. You have been unable to convince him to change. You also believe God doesn't really know what he is going to do, and He doesn't move him because of free will. I will address these 3 things with scripture:

Luke 6:42 Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, let me pull out the splinter in your eye, when you yourself do not see the beam that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First cast out the beam out of your own eye, and then you shall see clearly to pull out the splinter that is in your brother's eye.

The priority for us as Christians is not to fix other people, but to allow God to fix us. God wants to help you cast the beam out of your eye so you can help your fiance grow closer to God. In Gods Kingdom, the change starts with us and then through God working in our lives He uses us to help other people. We fight these battles not against one another, but on our knees.

What I recommend you do is place all of your fiances flaws at the feet of the Lord Jesus and ask Him to take that burden from you, because you can't carry it by yourself. As long as you try to carry it yourself, that is what will destroy you. When you hand it over to Jesus and put your fiance in His hands, then He will start to work. But, He wants to work through you as well, and for that He wants you to compare yourself to Him instead of to other people. When you do that you will stop looking at the problems of others because you will realize your great need for Christ, in ways you have never seen before. When you realize how much you need Christ, you have a lot of grace for the issues of others.

Your second issue is that you are letting your fears about the future control you. You believe you have to make this plan happen of your fiance being a priest. The pressure is on you to change him but as I just went over, you can't change him. Only God can change his heart, and only through building a relationship with God can he come to know and understand Gods purpose for his life. The best thing you can is model Christs love to him, and to pray for him, and study the scripture with him. The word of God has the power to change our hearts. You also have to remember what Christ admonished not to do, which is to worry about tomorrow:

Mat_6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

Concentrate on what God is calling you to do today, because that is more than enough for anyone to handle. Put this dream into Gods hands and tell Him to bring it back in the proper time if it is His will. Release it to Him and concentrate on growing your relationship with God and one another.

Another thing I would like to addess is that the bible teaches the sovereignty of God and predestination. This is what the scripture says about John the Baptist:

Luke 1:15

for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.

The Lord predestined John the Baptist to be a prophet, even filling him with the Holy Spirit in the womb. He knew exactly what John the Baptist would do before he did it. This is what Paul teaches in Ephesians 1:4

just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love


A God that does not know the future is a much smaller god than the God of the bible, who knew what would happen on Earth before He created it:

Revelation 13:8

And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

He had always planned to send Jesus because He knew exactly what we would do before He made anything. Now, granted, this is something hard to understand and it can lead to some tough questions. But, this is another thing I had to learn how to do:

Proverbs 3:5

And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

The Lord taught me early on to come to Him with my questions and lay them at His feet, and if He was going to answer, it would be in His timing, and for His purposes.

God will move the heart of your fiance, if you surrender all of this to Him and stop trying to control the situation. It will also be in His timing and in His way. If your relationship is of the Lord, then if you are both following Him with all of your heart you will make it. God wants you to learn how to be dependent on Him for your problems, and that happens when you surrender control and your fears and let God take the reigns of your life. God bless sister, I will pray for you guys.
 
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St_Worm2

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Hi KS, Food4Thought gave you some very good advice, I think. And like him, I'd also like to say, WELCOME TO CF .. :wave:

There are a number of things we could discuss, but the first thing I'd like to ask you about is Jesus Christ. What do you think about Him and what, if anything, does He have to do with your faith?

Thanks!

Yours and His,
David


"I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is
no one like Me, declaring the end from the beginning,
and from ancient times things which have not been
done, saying, My purpose will be established, and
I will accomplish all My good pleasure"

Isaiah 46:9b-10
 
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Neogaia777

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Hi KnowledgeSeeker;

Welcome to the forums, and I agree that it can be a bit confusing at first. What kind of church are you currently attending? Do you feel like you are growing spiritually through the ministry of that church? If not, you may need to seek another church with your fiancé.

As for your fiancé, it sounds to me like you should both be attending some pre-marriage counseling with a solid Bible believing pastor. If you're not, I suggest you bring this up with your fiancé and seek out some counseling.

It also sounds to me like you could both benefit from having a mentor, a more mature Christian who you can talk openly with, to disciple you and help guide you in your Christian walk. Can you think of anyone in your life that might be willing to fill that role (close family members probably aren't the best choice)?

Hope this helps.

I agree with foodforthought, seek pre-marriage counseling with a solid bible believing pastor, and that you could both benefit from having a mature Christian mentor,

But I would also suggest that you both agree to study the Bible TOGETHER, and have discussions with each other about what you have studied and,(and this is very important) "Pray" together, the couple that Pray's together, stays together... If you do this Jesus will come into both your lives and help both of you, Are you currently doing any of this?

Oh, and welcome to Christian Forums by the way,

God Bless!
 
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Bramwell

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Hi Knowledge Seeker,

I agree with most of the advice shared, particularly from Foodforthought and Neogaia. Getting counsel from other, more mature Christians seems like one of the most positive steps you can take... personally, and for your marriage. And the same applies to you and your fiance praying and reading the Bible together.

If you feel God is telling you to marry your fiance, then I feel you just need to move ahead with that in faith. God provides as God guides.

Also, I want to second the advice that you focus less on 'fixing' your fiance, and more on fixing yourself. In doing so, you may find your fiance changes as well as a result.
 
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revrobor

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Hello KS: First of all don't concern yourself with what "Type" of Christian you are. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ that is what is the most important. It's obvious to me that neither you nor your fiance are ready to marry. Seek Christian counseling from someone you trust. There should be a time when you both realize that GOD brought you together. If He wants you to marry He will give you a mate. I met my third wife after divorcing my previous wives for Scriptural reasons. We knew each other for one month before we were married but we KNEW God had brought us together. We celebrated our 45th anniversary this past January. To me that's proof that when GOD does it He does it right.
 
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1watchman

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I will add a thought here, and that is the real need to be "born again" ---which I did not note as stated in the issue above; and this speaks of being sealed as a child of God by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (meditate on John 14:23). It speaks of complete surrender to the Savior without conditions or demands.

Trying to live the Christian life and follow Christ, going to church meetings, reading the Bible are good first steps, but it must lead one to possess Jesus Christ in one's heart for eternal salvation, and the peace of being in His good care forever. We must never put demands on God to give us what we want, and need to come in humility for His perfect will in our life. Therein is peace and joy for now and eternity. Jesus said to His Father: "...not My will, but Thy will be done" (and it was even to die on the Cross).
 
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7angel

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Could it be that religions and Christians in general are guided by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit?
...
Why do I say this? because praise the sacrificial life of St. Francis of Assisi. Teresa of Jesus and other martyrs of religion, and asking God and Jesus is another thing.
It does stress upon the sacrifices and not in LOVE, life of any of these saints * are very different from the life of Jesus, the church * * imposes sacrifices as a main rule and neglects the love of neighbor. Jesus not closing himself, but to inform and demystify, to heal and heal various diseases but above all to teach and make us know God.
In the life of St. Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Jesus is revealed sacrifice but anything of love of neighbor, even when it is clear what God says: 6: 6 For I desire mercy and not sacrifice,
knowledge of God more than burnt offerings .... the question is, who are those who seek knowledge of God ,, who are practicing love of neighbor? - I say this because it is written: - 1. John 4, 20 - If anyone says, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar; for he that loveth not his brother whom he has seen, can not love God whom he has not seen.

Hosea 6
6: 4 What shall I do with you, Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, Judah?
Because your love is like a morning cloud,
like dew which soon dissipates.
6: 5 is why I tore through the prophets,
I die with the words of my mouth,
and my judgment emerge as light.
6: 6 For I desire mercy and not sacrifice,
knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.
 
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