I found this forum through a link on another one (non-religion) related, then I saw the characters and wanted to make one, so I registered, found out you needed blessings to make one, so I thought I might as well post.
I'm not sure why. I don't even know what I am, but I suppose it can't hurt to try and find answers here, as I've been everywhere else, unless I get ridden out of town on a rail or something.
I'm half Jewish-agnostic and half Catholic-atheist. I was baptized Catholic, refused to sing Christmas carols in school, spent a year and a half in a Catholic high school because there was nowhere else for me to go at the time, tried to start reading the New Testament a bit then but quickly decided I must be insane for wanting to bother, poked around in several other major, minor, and non- religions, didn't do all the things normal teenagers do and thought maybe I should run off and join a convent, which my father would have hated, then decided I was Jewish and should start acting like it. I have problems following the zillions of restrictions of observant Judaism, and don't even have the cultural upbringing that most secular Jews still have. I've spent time in Israel, which is where I am now, and while last year when I was here I thought I knew what G-d wanted of me, over the few months I've been here this year, most of it's gone down the toilet. I'm currently being kept warm at night by a blanket from a Christian agency here that donates things to Jews here, so thank you whoever you are that donated the money for that.
I don't fit anywhere, Rabbis get my name wrong and call me "Christine" and mistake me for a shiksa even when I'm in with a bunch of other Jews, I was always the token heathen when my friends dragged me to their Sunday schools and youth groups, and when I was little my mom said I grew horns anytime I went in a protestant church because I was Catholic. I've developed a mild fear of Christianity because of friends who have suddenly rediscovered it and started acting like they were possessed. I realized I don't even understand most of the stuff - my mother doesn't believe that Christians *really* believe in Jesus, so even when I was younger and thought I was one, I was taught a rather warped version of the religion. And then later in life, only the lunatic fringe shoves their religion in your face, further warping it.
Maybe I can find more answers here. Maybe I'll get labelled a troll and banned. I don't know. I just want to figure out my relationship with G-d more, and want people to stop hating and killing each other between/within/outside religions.
I'm not sure why. I don't even know what I am, but I suppose it can't hurt to try and find answers here, as I've been everywhere else, unless I get ridden out of town on a rail or something.
I'm half Jewish-agnostic and half Catholic-atheist. I was baptized Catholic, refused to sing Christmas carols in school, spent a year and a half in a Catholic high school because there was nowhere else for me to go at the time, tried to start reading the New Testament a bit then but quickly decided I must be insane for wanting to bother, poked around in several other major, minor, and non- religions, didn't do all the things normal teenagers do and thought maybe I should run off and join a convent, which my father would have hated, then decided I was Jewish and should start acting like it. I have problems following the zillions of restrictions of observant Judaism, and don't even have the cultural upbringing that most secular Jews still have. I've spent time in Israel, which is where I am now, and while last year when I was here I thought I knew what G-d wanted of me, over the few months I've been here this year, most of it's gone down the toilet. I'm currently being kept warm at night by a blanket from a Christian agency here that donates things to Jews here, so thank you whoever you are that donated the money for that.
I don't fit anywhere, Rabbis get my name wrong and call me "Christine" and mistake me for a shiksa even when I'm in with a bunch of other Jews, I was always the token heathen when my friends dragged me to their Sunday schools and youth groups, and when I was little my mom said I grew horns anytime I went in a protestant church because I was Catholic. I've developed a mild fear of Christianity because of friends who have suddenly rediscovered it and started acting like they were possessed. I realized I don't even understand most of the stuff - my mother doesn't believe that Christians *really* believe in Jesus, so even when I was younger and thought I was one, I was taught a rather warped version of the religion. And then later in life, only the lunatic fringe shoves their religion in your face, further warping it.
Maybe I can find more answers here. Maybe I'll get labelled a troll and banned. I don't know. I just want to figure out my relationship with G-d more, and want people to stop hating and killing each other between/within/outside religions.
)
