Neighbor problem. What to do?

[Aldebaran]

I've owned and lived in my small home for 19 years and live next to a rental property that is really close--as in 6 feet away. It's 2 adults, 1 kid who is 11 years old who usually has a friend about the same age there, 2 dogs and a cat in 2 bedroom rental that's smaller than my house. The kids are often outside throwing balls, frisbees and other things around and always manage to throw something at the side of my house at least once while outside. I've even found damage to my vinyl siding. At one point, I saw the kid throw a snowball at my kitchen window.

When I know the kids are outside throwing things around, I try to discreetly watch them through a window in my kitchen so I can catch them in the act. They always see me since they keep looking in my window at me. But I took comfort in knowing that if they see me, then they'll know that I'll see when they throw something at my house, reducing the chance they'll do it.

Well, one day I noticed a motion sensing security camera on their back porch--aimed directly at my kitchen window from 6 feet away. I discovered this after a couple times of going outside to check for further damage to my siding and then the neighbor went outside right afterward to stand and stare at my window. It looks like their camera sends alerts to their phone. So now I can't even go outside my house without the neighbor being notified.

Finally, just yesterday, I decided I'd had enough, and after hearing a loud BANG against my house, I opened the window and told him that if he does it one more time, he'd be in trouble. 5 minutes later, the parents are banging on my front door. I grabbed my phone, set it to video record, and answered the door with the phone in my hand.

As the arguments and accusations flew back and forth, I discovered that they had called the police on me after their kid said I was watching him through my kitchen window and was "intimidating" him. They said the police advised them to install a camera if they had concerns about me. (I've since discovered that this is legal here, even if it looks into my window). The mom also didn't believe what I said about her kid throwing things at my house, citing that she didn't hear anything. "Of course not!", I said. "It's MY house he's throwing things at, not yours!" She also stated that a reason for the camera was because I have my curtains open all the time which she said is "creepy". I told her that it's my main south-facing window and I want to let the sun in and the curtains are not easy to reach anyway. She informed me that I don't need to have the sun coming in since I don't have any plants in my house--something she wouldn't know without looking in my window, which I find to be even more creepy. She even stated that when they first moved in last November, my curtains were closed at that time, but have been open ever since. Not true. Other crazy arguments were also made but this should be enough for now. I could post the video of the argument, but would that be legal for me to do?

What gets me the most is that she seems to believe that there's nothing wrong with her kid looking in my window, and that it's either no problem or not even true that he throws things at my house, and that it's ok for her to look in my windows, but it's NOT ok for me to look out my window, and even calls the police on me for it, and then sets up a camera to stare into my house. Sure, I could just keep the curtains closed, but I've learned in the past that when I do that, the kid becomes more emboldened to do things he shouldn't do because he knows I'm no longer watching him. So I leave the curtains open for that reason, and to bring in more daylight.

What do you think? Does my neighbor have more of a right to look into my windows than I have the right to look out? Should I close the curtains and feel like I have to stay in the dark about who's throwing things at my house? Would doing so be a way of trying to create peace, or would I just be giving a bully neighbor what they want? I can't even go around that side of the house without being recorded on camera and then stared at by the neighbor afterwards, or even something thrown at my house at that time. I know the name of this neighbor and have done an internet search of them. She has a lengthy police record which includes a rather messy neighbor problem in the past that involved her ending up in jail and doing community service, so I know I'm not the only one she's had problems with.

Ok, any advice, other than to write shorter posts?

 

[paul1149]

I would go to the police and give them your side of the story. They may have practical advice, they may be able to give you an outline of your legal rights, and at least they would be able to put your neighbor's claims in better perspective, which might save you aggravation down the line.

 

[brinny]

Good grief, what a mess. I would NOT "tangle" with this neighbor....who knows WHAT their history is, since they're renting, and may have a pattern or history of this nonsense, or worse, in their rental history?

I'd do what Paul suggested, but first contact the owner/landlord of the property. In addition, i'd gather a circle of prayer warriors or partners to pray over this, for your protection, and the protection of your property, and for the enemy to be stopped in his tracks, and pray for a "hedge of protection" around your property and you and all your household.

Praying for you in the quagmire of a mess of a situation.

 

[RaymondG]

Have you been desiring a larger house with more property and greater distances from adjacent houses? If so....maybe this is God way of helping you get out and get what you desire......

 

[miamited]

Hi aldebaran,

Well, that's a tough one and some neighbors can be aggressive. My sister lives in Alabama and the people living next door to her were Mexican or some of some southern neighbor nation. My sister's family can be fairly bigoted and she once told me of an encounter between here children and the neighbor where she seemed to imply that it was her children that started the problem also by throwing things in the neighbors yard and shining lights in their windows. I was aghast that she would allow such behavior, but she seemed to just brush it off as how one should treat 'foreigners'. When her children would get in trouble at school, and they were roughnecks, it was always the teacher's fault or some other child's fault because they 'didn't like her sons'.

So, I give you all that background just to say that some people are just not nice neighbors. What can you do? Not a whole lot. If you try to 'catch them in the act' you're just going to make for bad feelings. It isn't a matter of whether you're in the right or not so much as you want to try to encourage a 'friendly' neighbor attitude.

What you do now is to go over with a plate of cookies and tell them you're sorry for making all the trouble and the big stink about such a little thing but that you'd hope they would just talk to the children about being respectful concerning your house. As far as having a camera directed at your window, you should try to find a way to block its view if it bothers you. If they're using the camera to alert themselves when you are walking between the houses, then just say 'hi' when they come out. Start up a conversation with them. Just try to be as nice as you can be. While I understand the desire to start a war, those kinds of things don't usually end well and you living alone are likely going to come out on the short end of the stick.

Is there a fence between the properties? If so, is it yours or theirs? If it's yours, then you can buy some of that cheap rolled reed screen and attach it 8' high to the fence where the camera is. If the fence is not yours, then you could consider building some kind of 2x4 frame that you can stake to the ground with rebar stakes about 2' deep and attach the reed screen to that. It doesn't have to be particularly big in length (just enough to cover the camera sweep) but you'd probably want it to be about 8'-10' tall if the camera is mounted on their eaves.

Something like this only instead of using solid lumber for the whole thing, you just make the frame and wrap it with the reed fence. If the fence is your fence, then you can just tie wrap to the existing fence. Hopefully it would only be temporary.

Here's a guy that used blue tarps, but I don't recommend it. They are just ugly and you'll get other neighbors complaining, but with a reed fence you have a lot less 'brightness' for the neighbors to have to see. Of course, if you're in a high wind area or have a strong storm, you might have to make repairs from time to time.
NC man puts up massive tarp to block neighbor’s surveillance camera

Finally, if the house is a rental house CONTACT THE OWNER ABOUT THE PROBLEM!!!! Most landlords don't like their tenants making trouble with neighbors. He may even be able to have the man remove the cameras because he didn't get permission to put them up. I have a clause in my rental agreements that they cannot cause problems or be trouble makers with neighbors. This comes in very handy if a tenant has a trouble making pet.

I once got a call from a neighbor that a tenant's dog was barking for long periods of time at night. I told the tenant that he either had to find a way to quiet the dog or the dog had to go and he had 15 days to resolve the issue. Never heard another complaint.

God bless,
In Christ, ted

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Christie insb]

Hi aldebaran,

Well, that's a tough one and some neighbors can be aggressive. My sister lives in Alabama and the people living next door to her were Mexican or some of some southern neighbor nation. My sister's family can be fairly bigoted and she once told me of an encounter between here children and the neighbor where she seemed to imply that it was her children that started the problem also by throwing things in the neighbors yard and shining lights in their windows. I was aghast that she would allow such behavior, but she seemed to just brush it off as how one should treat 'foreigners'. When her children would get in trouble at school, and they were roughnecks, it was always the teacher's fault or some other child's fault because they 'didn't like her sons'.

So, I give you all that background just to say that some people are just not nice neighbors. What can you do? Not a whole lot. If you try to 'catch them in the act' you're just going to make for bad feelings. It isn't a matter of whether you're in the right or not so much as you want to try to encourage a 'friendly' neighbor attitude.

What you do now is to go over with a plate of cookies and tell them you're sorry for making all the trouble and the big stink about such a little thing but that you'd hope they would just talk to the children about being respectful concerning your house. As far as having a camera directed at your window, you should try to find a way to block its view if it bothers you. If they're using the camera to alert themselves when you are walking between the houses, then just say 'hi' when they come out. Start up a conversation with them. Just try to be as nice as you can be. While I understand the desire to start a war, those kinds of things don't usually end well and you living alone are likely going to come out on the short end of the stick.

Is there a fence between the properties? If so, is it yours or theirs? If it's yours, then you can buy some of that cheap rolled reed screen and attach it 8' high to the fence where the camera is. If the fence is not yours, then you could consider building some kind of 2x4 frame that you can stake to the ground with rebar stakes about 2' deep and attach the reed screen to that. It doesn't have to be particularly big in length (just enough to cover the camera sweep) but you'd probably want it to be about 8'-10' tall if the camera is mounted on their eaves.

Something like this only instead of using solid lumber for the whole thing, you just make the frame and wrap it with the reed fence. If the fence is your fence, then you can just tie wrap to the existing fence. Hopefully it would only be temporary.

Here's a guy that used blue tarps, but I don't recommend it. They are just ugly and you'll get other neighbors complaining, but with a reed fence you have a lot less 'brightness' for the neighbors to have to see. Of course, if you're in a high wind area or have a strong storm, you might have to make repairs from time to time.
NC man puts up massive tarp to block neighbor’s surveillance camera

Finally, if the house is a rental house CONTACT THE OWNER ABOUT THE PROBLEM!!!! Most landlords don't like their tenants making trouble with neighbors. He may even be able to have the man remove the cameras because he didn't get permission to put them up. I have a clause in my rental agreements that they cannot cause problems or be trouble makers with neighbors. This comes in very handy if a tenant has a trouble making pet.

I once got a call from a neighbor that a tenant's dog was barking for long periods of time at night. I told the tenant that he either had to find a way to quiet the dog or the dog had to go and he had 15 days to resolve the issue. Never heard another complaint.

God bless,
In Christ, ted

I was going to give you a medal until the part about the dog at the end. Our dogs bark occasionally, during the day except once at night , and we had a complaint to the landlord. Now I am not so bad since those neighbors moved, but I went around with frayed nerves continually. Anyway. Be nice to people with dogs.
I agree in general that one should try to kill them with kindness - - and frankly I think the OP will feel better with a screen that would block the neighbor's view and possibly projectiles as well. Watching them cannot make the OP feel better, or the neighbors.

 

[Aldebaran]

I would go to the police and give them your side of the story. They may have practical advice, they may be able to give you an outline of your legal rights, and at least they would be able to put your neighbor's claims in better perspective, which might save you aggravation down the line.

I'm thinking I'll have to contact them at some point if the neighbor escalates things further.

 

[Aldebaran]

Good grief, what a mess. I would NOT "tangle" with this neighbor....who knows WHAT their history is, since they're renting, and may have a pattern or history of this nonsense, or worse, in their rental history?

I'd do what Paul suggested, but first contact the owner/landlord of the property. In addition, i'd gather a circle of prayer warriors or partners to pray over this, for your protection, and the protection of your property, and for the enemy to be stopped in his tracks, and pray for a "hedge of protection" around your property and you and all your household.

Praying for you in the quagmire of a mess of a situation.

This was actually going to be my next move, but I didn't want to put it in my OP since it was already overly long. I have their contact info. and I even have a printout of when the house was being advertised on Craigslist. I noticed that this landlord, who had recently acquired and renovated the property, mentioned in the ad that dogs were ok to have, but could not be a "barking nuisance", which is something one of their dogs (a Boxer) is. It's also lunged at me on a few occasions when it was off-leash.

After looking up this person's police history, I noticed there were a couple of charges for no licensing their dog. I wonder if that's still the case.

 

[Aldebaran]

Have you been desiring a larger house with more property and greater distances from adjacent houses? If so....maybe this is God way of helping you get out and get what you desire......

Actually, my dad and I have been thinking of selling both of our houses and buying a nicer house together out in a rural area. That was last year that we first tried, but the housing market was tight then, and is a whole lot worse now. I really hope we can get a place this year. I'm dreading the idea of being stuck here another year. I've been here 19 years and it seems like it's time for a change.

 

[Aldebaran]

Hi aldebaran,

Well, that's a tough one and some neighbors can be aggressive. My sister lives in Alabama and the people living next door to her were Mexican or some of some southern neighbor nation. My sister's family can be fairly bigoted and she once told me of an encounter between here children and the neighbor where she seemed to imply that it was her children that started the problem also by throwing things in the neighbors yard and shining lights in their windows. I was aghast that she would allow such behavior, but she seemed to just brush it off as how one should treat 'foreigners'. When her children would get in trouble at school, and they were roughnecks, it was always the teacher's fault or some other child's fault because they 'didn't like her sons'.

So, I give you all that background just to say that some people are just not nice neighbors. What can you do? Not a whole lot. If you try to 'catch them in the act' you're just going to make for bad feelings. It isn't a matter of whether you're in the right or not so much as you want to try to encourage a 'friendly' neighbor attitude.

What you do now is to go over with a plate of cookies and tell them you're sorry for making all the trouble and the big stink about such a little thing but that you'd hope they would just talk to the children about being respectful concerning your house. As far as having a camera directed at your window, you should try to find a way to block its view if it bothers you. If they're using the camera to alert themselves when you are walking between the houses, then just say 'hi' when they come out. Start up a conversation with them. Just try to be as nice as you can be. While I understand the desire to start a war, those kinds of things don't usually end well and you living alone are likely going to come out on the short end of the stick.

Is there a fence between the properties? If so, is it yours or theirs? If it's yours, then you can buy some of that cheap rolled reed screen and attach it 8' high to the fence where the camera is. If the fence is not yours, then you could consider building some kind of 2x4 frame that you can stake to the ground with rebar stakes about 2' deep and attach the reed screen to that. It doesn't have to be particularly big in length (just enough to cover the camera sweep) but you'd probably want it to be about 8'-10' tall if the camera is mounted on their eaves.

Something like this only instead of using solid lumber for the whole thing, you just make the frame and wrap it with the reed fence. If the fence is your fence, then you can just tie wrap to the existing fence. Hopefully it would only be temporary.

Here's a guy that used blue tarps, but I don't recommend it. They are just ugly and you'll get other neighbors complaining, but with a reed fence you have a lot less 'brightness' for the neighbors to have to see. Of course, if you're in a high wind area or have a strong storm, you might have to make repairs from time to time.
NC man puts up massive tarp to block neighbor’s surveillance camera

Finally, if the house is a rental house CONTACT THE OWNER ABOUT THE PROBLEM!!!! Most landlords don't like their tenants making trouble with neighbors. He may even be able to have the man remove the cameras because he didn't get permission to put them up. I have a clause in my rental agreements that they cannot cause problems or be trouble makers with neighbors. This comes in very handy if a tenant has a trouble making pet.

I once got a call from a neighbor that a tenant's dog was barking for long periods of time at night. I told the tenant that he either had to find a way to quiet the dog or the dog had to go and he had 15 days to resolve the issue. Never heard another complaint.

God bless,
In Christ, ted

There actually is a fence, and it's mine, but it's only between the backyards (and I've had trash thrown over it from their side). Between the houses themselves is just a concrete walkway. Good idea though if I had a fence next to the house.

 

[Aldebaran]

Is there something like a film or such that you can put
over your window that lets the sunshine in, but people outdoors can't actually see inside of the house?
It needs to be a type of covering that can be easily removed. A type that would let a person see outside, but not the outsiders see in should work.

I looked that up today and found some, but it costs a huge amount of money. Probably not worth it economically.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I believe you indicated that it is a rental house, so I wouldn’t even begin with the renter or tenant, but try to talk to the homeowner themself and see if I could get anywhere.

What may be able to happen is that the homeowner may talk with the renter and establish some rules. If you were able to convince them to do that, then it might help.

The other thing the owner may actually do if they are nice is to write some rules into the rental agreement with the tenant/renter.

I personally would look into different kinds of blinds or shades, maybe the ones that open from the top and bottom of the window. Then maybe you could get light from the top art and choose to have the bottom part closed.

I would be thinking in layers. A way that offers you the most flexibility.

 

[Aldebaran]

For the part about throwing things at your house....

I'd probably go out and join them in tossing frisbees around. When they get to know you, then say, oh, think we'd better step back a bit. We don't want to break anything.

Well, that'd be a little weird since the kids are 11 and I'm a single white 47 year old male. It would seem to rank right up there with, "Hey kids, could you help me find my lost puppy?"

Now, if they were adults, I could see it being a good idea. I just wish the adults in charge of this kid would take responsibility for their kid's actions rather than make excuses. I think the kid is learning a bad lesson from his mom this way, and will be following in the path she laid out when she did the things she's done in her past.

 

[teresa]

No, do not contact them as that will escalate things for them, as they have already put up cameras and accused you of predation of their child. Stay away and contact legal action or legal aid asap. Coming any where near them may give them cause to again falsely accuse you of predation or anything they can come up with!

Give them nothing to work with.

Do not engage them. Get legal advice first, and create a paper trail with the police with whom you as a taxpayer, should have a great relationship as you are paying for them.

Back off and let things die down, it will be so worth it. Remember you own your home and they only rent. This is just temporary. Close you curtains bc its only temporary.

If you get a better place with your dad, just think of the peace and happiness you both will have. Not looking out your window may stop this whole thing-fair or not fair.

Its a way to quiet them, while you go about making your life better.

I found this temp solution: put up this reflective peel with your dad asap for peace of mind.

 

[teresa]

^you can see out and they cannot see in....cheaper than a fence and easy to install the peel pieces.

try menards

get away and go outside for activities or work more often to take your mind off of things. Looks like they are looking for issues-maybe they are bored and create drama.

Avoid them

 

[teresa]

with problem neighbors, I used another strategy: never be home

I intentionally worked til 2 am, lol!

they never saw me and I was happy working great jobs

eventually they got themselves evicted. bc some ppl just cant help but create drama and problems, so when your not available, well, they move on to someone else and eventually falling on their own sword!

 

[Aldebaran]

^you can see out and they cannot see in....cheaper than a fence and easy to install the peel pieces.

try menards

get away and go outside for activities or work more often to take your mind off of things. Looks like they are looking for issues-maybe they are bored and create drama.

Avoid them

Actually, it's mainly the woman and her son. She has a guy there that she's supposedly engaged to, but she treats him like a child much of the time. I've seen that. He's submissive to her. I've also heard arguments between them where she's told him she's "done" with their relationship and that she feels like she's his mother. Not surprisingly, she's a "higher up" at a cleaning company. It seems like these personalities are used to getting their way and will not hesitate to push people around to get what they want.

 

[RaymondG]

Actually, my dad and I have been thinking of selling both of our houses and buying a nicer house together out in a rural area. That was last year that we first tried, but the housing market was tight then, and is a whole lot worse now. I really hope we can get a place this year. I'm dreading the idea of being stuck here another year. I've been here 19 years and it seems like it's time for a change.

Well there you go. I wanted a new bathroom for years.....Then I learned how to pray and, instead of paying to have my bathroom remodeled, I prayed to God to do it for me. So He put a leak in my tub which required the wall to be removed to replace......it only made sense to just replace everything in the bathroom. I was upset at the unexpected expense, but after admiring the new bathroom, I remembered that this was what I prayed for not one month prior......