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Featured Negativity and crisis of faith

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Quid est Veritas?, May 18, 2017 at 7:16 AM.

  1. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
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    My wife has become a bit despondant due to the state of the world. She is having a bit of an existential crisis.
    We have recently had a spate of horrific murders in my country. A guy killed his parents and siblings with an axe, a young girl of three was raped and murdered etc.
    She is quite depressed and fearful due to this and has begun to verbalise doubts on the goodness of God, even said she is struggling with faith in His existence even.

    This has largely come as a shock to me as she has always had an unshakeable faith. She has been my rock when I struggled into the Truth from my previous atheism.

    Now I don't know how to help her. I tried to discuss the ways to solve the question of Evil, but ended up in a long sidetrack on how depraved and evil men are. I was trying to get her to remember that all goodness is ultimately of God, but she says I just made her feel worse. She says I am too negative, my view of man too dark. She says she believed in man, had hope for humanity, which she has now lost. I can't help but think that we are too sinful to get anywhere without God, without divine Grace, but this seems to only drag her downward and worsen the situation. She hates my bleak view of the world and my attempts to stress reliance on God have largely failed on account of how I seem to agree with her estimation of the blackness of the world. I just can't seem to lift her spirits, but my tendency to try and intellectualise everything seems to be driving her away.

    I am really at the end of my tether. Prayers would be appreciated and any advice?
     
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  2. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member

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    That's too bad. I mean I don't think your attitude is all that bad, even from a non-Christian point of view. Taking humanity too seriously is bound to set you up for disappointments. We don't exactly have a great track record. That's not bleak, that's realism.

    I think its right to be disturbed by violent crime. Maybe this is an opportunity to become more politically active about the issue? If that's what's really bothering her, you need to find ways to discuss that.
     
  3. Saint Beloved

    Saint Beloved Full Time Light Bulb Powered By God. Supporter

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    I'm sorry to hear it.
    Go with your instict and reread the gospels together and pray over her. The Mark, Luke, Matthew, John order might help restore comfort.
    You're in our prayers, brother.

    God bless you both.
     
  4. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    nvm
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017 at 9:27 AM
  5. ToBeLoved

    ToBeLoved Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I really don't watch the news anymore because their premise is to shock and give people what is negative because that is what people read.

    So many better and edification building things to do besides watch news.

    It is setup that way. Stay away from it.
     
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  6. Aleksandros

    Aleksandros New Member

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    I will pray for you.

    Perhaps you could try easing her struggles with faith by having her see God's providence in action. Try reading about the life of George Muller; the institution he set up is still around and receives their funds through prayer alone, even. Howell Rees is another man worth reading about.

    I think one should always keep in mind that whilst humanity is caked in dirt, there is still some shine there. Try reading up on charities and other such topics that uplift and edify!
     
  7. Adstar

    Adstar Well-Known Member

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    If she is still open to reading a passage of scripture. I will offer the following..

    Jesus told us what would be happening in the end times..

    Matthew 24: KJV
    7 "For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. {8} All these are the beginning of sorrows. {9} Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake. {10} And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. {11} And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. {12} And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. {13} But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved."

    Wars famines earthquakes inigity which includes all the violent evil your wife is witnessing. The more dark this word becomes the more we can look up and know our redemption draws near..

    Matthew 24: KJV

    32 "Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh: {33} So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors."

    So give her these scriptures so that she will have hope for the return of our LORD Jesus Christ.. Trully a Christian should never be shaken in their faith by the evil that happens around them in this world..
     
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  8. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
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    I wish it were that simple. My wife thinks you must know of all the crime and so forth, in order to avoid it. A fair point, but she feels she must follow police pronouncements and court cases etc. for our own safety. She wants to be prepared for the worst, to avoid the situations that resulted therein.
    This is part of my problem. I cannot protect her from the evils of the world and if I try and address them, she says I just worsen the situation, as I inevitably come off very negative.
     
  9. dannheim

    dannheim Honey Badger

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    My advice to her is to remember that violence has always been in the world. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was crucified in the horrific violent Act. Yet out of this violent act came the salvation and loving grace of the world.

    Because of Man's Free Will, evil and violence will be with us until the end of this age. Our loving father equips us with the gift of Salvation and the blood of Jesus. Remember we are not of this world we just live in it.
     
  10. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member

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    A few years ago I was dealing with similar problems. I'd stopped going to church, just considering myself a "cultural Christian" or a nominal Christian. I became obsessed about being victimized by crime. Granted, we live in a somewhat rough neighborhood, so it's not totally unfounded. But the truth is, there's no way to be 100 percent safe and secure in this world, and I started realizing that and stopped taking myself so seriously. Thankfully, around that time I found a decent church to go to.

    I don't know how you can convince your wife, but there are no guarantees in life about avoiding crime. There's some steps you can take to lower the risk but "stuff happens" you can't control. In western society we have a nasty habit of taking on too much responsibility and taking our situation too seriously, and that's part of what fuels this anxiety. I'm not saying becoming cold and callous is the answer, but not letting every thing upset or disturb you is an important thing to learn.
     
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  11. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member

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    Reading about crime in newspapers is just voyeuristic. It won't tell you how to avoid crime, it will just emotionally trigger you. Learning realistic self defense is more useful. There is a good book called Safe in the City from an American perspective on crime, but I'm not sure how applicable it would be to your situation: https://www.amazon.com/Safe-City-Streetwise-Robbed-Ripped/dp/0873647750
     
  12. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
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    I'll look around for it. My country is quite crime-ridden though and it can be very violent. Our rape and murder rates are on the higher end of the spectrum.
     
  13. Aleksandros

    Aleksandros New Member

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    I would suggest helping her to grow closer in her relationship with God, so that she while looking upon these events may have Him in mind, without whose notice and consent even a sparrow will not fall to the ground.
     
  14. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017 at 9:33 AM
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  15. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
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    A big part of the problem is God's sovereignty. My wife cannot seem to understand why such evil is allowed. I tell her that man begets evil, sin begets sin, but she thinks many such criminals must be soulless and this has led her to doubt the actual sovereignty of God.
    She is very intelligent, so I think she understands the implications of various solutions of the problem of evil, but it seems as if this is a more visceral doubt. It is more gut than head. If I try and discuss it, I am met by the fact that I am "so negative" and worsening her depression. She sees man as evil, but does not want me to completely affirm this. I don't know, I am a bit lost where to head here.
     
  16. FireDragon76

    FireDragon76 Well-Known Member

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    I actually think stressing God's sovereignty won't appeal to her. Focusing more on the human side of Jesus might help, especially the fact he was no stranger to violence or injustice.

    Passivity is what leads to depression. In many ways, even crazy responses to evil are better than no response, which is what depression is. So, I would just focus on talking about how she feels about things and being a good listener. Telling her her feelings are wrong is just going to shut her down.

    Does she have any hobbies?
     
  17. Aleksandros

    Aleksandros New Member

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    I think that trusting God's sovereignty takes some thinking about what He is sovereign over exactly.

    The problem with the problem of evil is that it's like sitting in front of a computer screen (life and reality as we see it) asking why an application crashed, or why some other thing happened, whilst God knows what's going on "behind the scenes", I.e the inner workings of reality and every event, with everything that led up to it, leading back to Adam and Eve.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that my personal way of dealing with the problem of evil is to try and imagine everything God sees and His mind processes every moment, get a headache, and decide to just trust Him.

    I don't know if that is any help, but I hope it gives you something to think about. Since the issue is a gut issue, the best solution really is to grow closer to God. That deals with the gut, because then you emotionally trust Him and know, and feel, He is good.
     
  18. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
    Protestant
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    My wife is a bit 'passive' at the moment. She is pregnant with our second child and seeing that her job is stressful and we had some trouble with miscarriages, we thought it best she quit. She has also had some complications necessitating periods of bedrest. So it probably isn't the best situation for depression, coupled with the hormonal imbalances of pregnancy.

    She is quite driven by her profession. She doesn't have many other hobbies, although she is a part of a non-profit. Still, I think this may have been brought on by the enforced period of inactivity, but the questions she now has may cause harm to her relationship with God. It needs to be adressed, I don't think distraction or waiting it out would work.
     
  19. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +1,204
    Protestant
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    My problem is how to help her relationship along when she seems to have doubts here. This is new territory for me as she is usually my spiritual anchor. My attempts so far have hinged on arguments of God's sovereignty, but they largely backfired. I think Firedragon may be right in stressing His humanity, but you are of course right that she needs to grow closer to God again.
     
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  20. Aleksandros

    Aleksandros New Member

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    I would like to suggest reading about the life of George Muller. I recommend him very often, as he really gave me a big push as a Christian. A book on him by AT Pierson is available online for free. Reading about him will very much ease doubts.

    His attitude towards prayer, and towards the prayerful reading of Scripture have helped me a lot, for instance. His philosophy towards prayer can be summed up as, "Pray about everything."

    Also friend, I think you could look into supplements for your wife. Even something as simple as Magnesium can make a noticeable difference. Get her to look into things that are good for relaxation or mood. Magnesium helps with that.

    Stress is not a good thing. An indirect approach to this problem such as getting her to relax and feel better might be effective. Over a longer period of time, stress wreaks havoc on your mind. Try and look into it :)