Need prayer

[tattoo*1]

Hello Everyone, I am new to these forums. I am in the middle of a divorce. I was married 14 years to a "non-believer." Almost 4 months ago, he blind sided me with the news that he was no longer in love with me and didn't feel he had been for a couple of years. We have a 7 year old son so he said he tried to hold it together for our son but could no longer do it because he was so unhappy. He moved out of the house 3 months ago. I begged him not to go and then for the first month he was gone, I pleaded with God to change his heart and bring him back. Then it hit me one day how sad I had really been in the marriage because my husband was unloving, unaffectionate, harsh with me and my son most of the time and just plain incapable (or unwilling) to love me in the way I need to be loved. So I realized our seperation was actually a good thing for me. I have gotten over my husband and I honestly can say that I don't hurt for him anymore. Of course, it is still sad that my family broke up, but the hurt I feel now is lonliness. I am ready to move on and fall in love again. Family and friends tell me that I am not ready yet, it has only been a few months, etc. What I am trying to get people to realize is that I haven't felt truely loved in about two years. My husband stopped sleeping in the same bed with me several months before he told me didn't love me anymore. He told me he slept better on the couch because of his sleep apnea. I believed him. So my problem now is that I am so lonely and so depressed. I want to meet someone and fall in love so badly. I am struggling with patience. I am struggling with waiting for God's perfect plan. I hurt almost all throughout the day and I am having trouble focusing on being a good mother to my son. I am trying to listen to what God is telling me, but I am so full of sadness that God's voice is muffled to me right now. I would appreciate prayer and words of wisdom.

 

[Rose of Eden]

I am praying for you, my lovely sister!

 

[Inkachu]

FWIW (for what it's worth) - you were married for 14 years, and you said it's only been in the past 2 months that you've stopped praying for your husband to come back. Now you're saying you're completely over him. I'm sorry, but 14 years doesn't disappear in 2-3 months. I'd encourage you not to deny or avoid the grief and healing that needs to take place, and don't try to hurry it along, either. I'm glad that you found this place (CF) and I hope you stick around and share your journey with us! God bless

 

[HazelWings]

I was married for 8 years, but was ready to date shortly after the divorce was final because the love had left the marriage such a long time ago. People who haven't been in that situation often don't understand. Only you know how you feel, but it's good to analyze the truth beneath you feelings and whether it's in your best interest to pursue a romantic relationship this soon or if your loneliness can be helped with hobbies and friendship.

 

[wildwilly]

I am so sorry this happened to you. You must know that what we have been told by our churches, that "God has a perfect plan for your life" just can't be true. The only "perfect plan" for our lives is to love the Lord with all of our hearts and "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

Yes, be patient and know that God knows exactly what is happening to you. But He also told us that we will experience "tribulation" or troubles and "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5

willy

 

[anewday]

Praying for you and welcome to CF !

 

[TakeOverMe]

My marriage was shortlived, but I can relate. Abandonment hurts. I am also lonely and depressed. Like you said, it was probably for the better. Now you can focus on you and your son and your relationship with God. I'll say a prayer for you.