Endeavourer
Well-Known Member
- Aug 30, 2017
- 1,719
- 1,472
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
God forgives , and I understand what I have done , (please do not be so judgmental of me)
Of course God can forgive, but that's beside the point of your question.
How do you think your wife will feel when this happens again? You don't have a plan to protect your wife from your behavior and you have no plan/ability to change the conditions that have already proved to been too much for you to resist - twice.
It seems you don't understand that experiencing infidelity in a marriage is one of the MOST PAINFUL experiences one can be forced to endure in a lifetime.
That you inflicted her with TWO affairs in such a short amount of time indicates you may have no intention of staying faithful, or that you have sexual addictions that preclude faithfulness to a wife. It certainly suggests that you do not control your impulses very well and the criminal history you have plays into that impression as well.
Further, in your writings, I don't get the sense that you appreciate the wrenching pain you have caused her. Do you know that some people who have survived infidelity in their marriage and lost a child have said that experiencing infidelity was the hardest of the two experiences? I haven't lost a full born child, so this seems incomprehensible to me, but I've heard this said several times by people who have experienced both sad events.
You start out this thread with concerns about your sin, later post a desire about your marriage and you worry about that she kissed someone because it hurts your feelings. Frankly, your posts are all about you and seem like you have ZERO appreciation for the pain you just put HER through. You didn't just kiss other women, you had sex with them! That as well makes me very skeptical for her safety in this relationship at this time.
The only way a marriage with you would be safe for her is for the two of you to be together nearly 24x7 so you don't have the opportunity to re-offend.
If I were her, however, I would not give up my achievements, source of income and tremendous investment of time to be married to someone who has cheated on me twice in such a short time.
I pray you grow in your walk with God and come to be richly blessed by his love and grace. There is nothing too great for him to forgive. I praise God there is no person that is too lowly for his grace - for that means it can include me too, just as it can include you.
This is an entirely different question on how to protect a wife from your behaviors, however. I'm being realistic about what you have to offer your wife in a marriage, which is not the same as being judgemental.
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